


Give Me Your Forever

by KTT2123



Series: He's the One that I Want [14]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: 'Cause that's how I roll, Eventual Smut, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-02
Updated: 2018-03-23
Packaged: 2018-04-24 11:01:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 72,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4917106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KTT2123/pseuds/KTT2123
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is nothing I can put here that won’t be spoilers for Spencer Will Be Mine. All I will say is this is the sequel to Spencer Will Be Mine and it occurs almost immediately after that story. Please look inside for the actual summary.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Spencer Goes Home

**Author's Note:**

> Actual summary:  
> With Barry Kryupt dead, Spencer and Derek try to move on with their lives. Spencer is recovering from being shot but very happy to be alive. Derek plans the perfect way to propose, thanking his lucky stars that Spencer seems to be completely oblivious. Planning an elaborate proposal, dealing with meddling family, and a possible wedding? What could go wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Revamped 12/31/15

Derek hovers protectively over Spencer as an amused nurse pushes Spencer’s wheelchair out of the hospital. Since the moment Spencer woke, Derek has been attentive and protective, overly so. Plain and simple, he’s been hovering. Spencer knows it, so do the doctors, the nurses, and every person that has visited Spencer.

The days have been hard and painful for Spencer but Derek has been with him every step of the way. Without Fran’s insistence, Derek would never have even left the hospital the entire time. The two times Fran was able to pull Derek away from Spencer’s side, Derek was bombarded by the media. Not that Derek was surprised, too many elements for the media to devour: a man stalking an FBI agent, a faked death, murder, a gun fight, a dead perp, and an FBI agent shot. Despite the barrage of questions shouted at him, Derek kept silent and let the FBI’s media liaisons deal with it. His family and friends took care of everything they could, including the destruction at the house.

What matters most is that Spencer is alive and Derek’s alive. They all are. It is over, finally. It’s truly over. And if Derek holds Spencer’s hand desperately tight or kisses him like he fears it will be the last time, that’s okay. He had come too close to losing Spencer to care if he is being intensely clingy. Derek feels he has the right. He loves Spencer and the thought of not having him in his life is terrifying.

Derek is thankful every day that Barry Kryupt has been stopped, permanently. Spencer is equally relieved and thankful that the ordeal is over and his stalker is gone. He knows Kryupt’s demise won’t make the nightmares disappear for either him or Derek but at least they can wake from them knowing he cannot hurt either of them or anyone else anymore.

Today is finally the day Spencer can go home. A part of him wonders how he’ll feel the first time he sees the house he and Derek share again. After Kryupt’s defilement of their home, Spencer hasn’t been back. The house is filled with wonderful memories of their two plus years together. Yet, it is also the place where Kryupt had spied on him and Derek, where he invaded their sanctuary and sullied it. Spencer shakes off the thought and hopes for the best.

His co-workers are there to send him off as well as Desiree and Ryuu. The rest of the Morgan-Takada family had gone home, needing to get back to work or school. Fran is the only one that will be staying with them. Des and Ryuu are staying with Luc and Josh. The ride home is quiet but comfortable. Together the three of them walk into the house. Clooney is there waiting for them, excited to see them, yet seeming to realize Spencer is hurt. Derek settles Spencer on the couch, a stack of books waiting for him.

Fran flutters around him, covering him with a blanket. She dashes off to the kitchen, bringing back a glass of water and straw for Spencer.

He smiles gratefully before sipping water. Spencer looks around the cleaned house and asks, “Who cleaned the house?”

“Who do you think?” Derek offers with a smirk.

Spencer smiles, “Our friends and family?”

“Got it in one.”

“Our pleasure, of course, Spencer. We are so thankful that you are okay.”

“Thank you, Mama. I’m blessed to have so many people that love me.”

Fran gives Spencer a careful hug. Spencer is a special boy and they are all blessed to know and love him. She kisses his soft cheek, “I love you, Spencer.”

“I love you, too,” Spencer echoes warmly. Fran is a wonderful woman and has become a second mother to him. One of these days, Fran and his mom will have a chance to meet. _Mom will love her._ Spencer has written and talked to his mom about Fran. His mom already likes her for the unconditional love Fran has shown him.

Fran kisses Derek’s cheek, infinitely joyful that Derek has such a wonderful man in his life. “I’m going to get busy in the kitchen. I am leaving Spencer in your capable hands.”

“Thanks, Mama.”

After she leaves, Spencer pats the seat beside him. Derek sits down and takes Spencer’s hand. Clooney jumps onto the remaining seat, resting his head on Derek’s knee. Spencer’s grip tightens; despite his hopes, he feels Kryupt’s presence here. He wonders if Derek feels it too. “They did a great job, it looks like nothing happened.”

Derek can tell from his tone that although Spencer cannot see Kryupt’s presence, he can feel it. Unfortunately, Derek feels it too, as if Kryupt’s evilness has tainted their home. Their family and friends could not have done more but it isn’t something that can be simply cleansed. “Yeah.” Derek had hoped that with the house cleaned, it would erase Kryupt. But it didn’t.

“You feel it, too,” Spencer pronounces sadly but confidently.

“Yeah, I do. I wish I didn’t but—”

Spencer squeezes his hand, “I know. We’ve been together two years, the majority of it living in this house and I hate that Barry Kryupt—”

“—ruined our home,” Derek finishes. They are silent, both wondering if their home will ever feel right again. Neither is sure it will.

Derek flicks on the TV as Spencer closes his eyes and falls asleep. Once he is sure that Spencer is sleeping, Derek takes out his phone and calls Josh.

“Go for Josh,” he answers, sounding distracted.

“Hey Josh, are you busy?”

Josh stops painting, “Hey Derek, how’s Spencer doing?”

“He’s sleeping.”

“That’s good. How does it feel to be home?”

Derek sighs, “Not so much like home, for either of us. That’s why I’m calling...”

**CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM**

The first day is quiet and spent together, just the four of them. Spencer sleeps most of the time and so does Clooney. Fran makes meals to freeze for the next week or so. She can only stay a few more days before she has to get back to Chicago. She doesn’t want either of her boys to have to worry about food. Derek spends the day watching sports and movies in between trying to convince Fran to relax.

Eventually, she does quit making meals to sit down and watch a movie. Spencer is again sleeping.

Fran’s eyes lovingly caress his sleeping features. She looks at her son, smiling at the gentle way he strokes Spencer’s hair as he slumbers. In a low voice, she says, “Your pop would have loved him.”

Derek meets his mama’s eyes, asking, “You really think so?”

“He knew more than most how hard it can be to love someone society tells you that you shouldn’t. We both did. His family and mine were afraid for us and for him. He could have been killed for ‘sullying’ me. I could have been raped by White men because they wanted to show me a real man.”

Derek shudders at the thought. His mama has talked about it before, how hard it was and the hate and scorn they often encountered.

The world has come a long way but he isn’t ignorant to the fact that they have a long way to go. It doesn’t take much to realize that racism isn’t gone. All he has to look at is crime sentencing. Traditionally ‘White’ illegal substances like cocaine have a much lower consequence than traditionally ‘Black’ ones like crack. Not only that but sexism is still very much alive and unfortunately, women of color have it even worse. Before he can continue along this depressing thread, Fran interrupts his thoughts.

“I cannot say for certain how he would have first reacted. He’d have been surprised for certain but then so was I. He may have even saw what I saw, how hopelessly Spencer loved you and how desperately he tried to hide it.”

Smiling, Derek nods, “He was sharp; I don’t doubt he would have seen it like you did.”

“In the end, Derek, it wouldn’t matter what he felt about you loving a man. Your pop would have put any misgivings aside once he saw how much you love Spencer and how much Spencer loves you. Your happiness and your sisters’ happiness were always more important to him than his own.”

Derek’s heart squeezes. That is what he remembers about his pop most: his fervent love of his family. He loved them all with everything he had. Emotion nearly choking him, Derek declares, “He had so much love inside him.”

“He truly did.” Her husband had been a wonderful man. The only man for her. She’d loved him with everything she had, her heart full of him. It still is. Since he died, Fran has been alone and she is content to be. She cherishes the time she had with him and is happy to simple bide her time until they can be together again. “It was hard loving someone outside our race. Not because of how we felt or saw each other but because of the way society saw us. We both lost friends and family because of our relationship. And deciding to have children was a heavy decision to make. We knew our children would be biracial. We didn’t want any of you to be ridiculed because of that. Yet, in the end, we couldn’t deny that we wanted children and wouldn’t let society tell us we shouldn’t. Love would sustain our family and it has. Love made every bit of hardship worth it.”

Derek beams with love, he could not ask for better parents. They loved him absolutely and while he wishes that his pop hadn’t been killed, he cherishes the memories of him. Desiree never got to meet their pop but between the three of them, they made sure she knew how much he loved all of them and her.

“Just like you and Spencer. Love will sustain you both. Through the good times,” Fran vows, turning her eyes to Spencer’s sleeping form, “and the bad.”

Derek hadn’t thought of it like that before. He and Spencer are like his mama and pop. Both couples, abnormal at best and morally wrong at worst, in the eyes of society. Granted, he and Spencer have it easier as society’s reaction to their relationship is less volatile, which he is thankful for. Although he doesn’t doubt that if they’d found each other during a more judgmental time, he would have risked everything to be with Spencer, no matter the cost. Because as Mama said, their love would get them through anything.

“You are going to be wonderful parents.”

“Mama,” Derek responds warningly.

Fran attempts to look innocent, “What? You will.”

Derek rubs his forehead with one hand while tenderly caressing Spencer’s cheek with the other. “That’s not a certainty.”

“That you’ll have children?”

“Yes,” Derek admits. He and Spencer have talked about children in depth. Both want children but how they are going to do that is something they haven’t decided.  

Fran shakes her head, “I don’t have a doubt in the world that you will. How doesn’t matter, Derek. You both have so much love to give. Any child would be lucky to have the two of you as parents.  You and Spencer will love any child that comes into your lives. And he or she will have tons of family to love them too.”

Derek’s chest tightens with emotion. He can see it, him and Spencer welcoming home a child with all their friends and family gushing over him or her. He can picture Spencer’s tender loving care of their child as well as his own. Spencer’s lonely childhood and his own experience with how eagerly children crave love at the community center have shaped them both. Mama is right; they do have a lot of love to give. And any child they have will have an abundance of love, not only from them but also from friends and family. He or she will have aunts, uncles, and cousins all over the place “Thank you, Mama. I want a family, _we_ want a family so much.”

“God will provide, Derek. He knows your hearts and he will give you the child or children right for you.”

“I hope so,” Derek whispers.

**CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM**

When it is time for bed, Derek takes one look at the bedroom and turns around. Spencer follows him back to the couch. “I can’t sleep in there, Spencer. All I see is the words he spelled in blood red paint on our walls. They did a great job covering it but I can’t stop seeing it.” All Derek remembers is the fear he’d felt, the fear of losing Spencer, of Spencer losing him. It still makes his heart race. He needs Spencer as much as Spencer needs him. They are linked in heart and soul. The bedroom that had once been their sanctuary from the horrors they see every day isn’t any longer. Derek isn’t sure he can ever see it that way again.

Spencer carefully hugs Derek, “It is okay, Der. We’ll figure it out together.” He only saw the pictures of what happened to the house while Derek not only saw the destruction in person but Derek was the target. Kryupt destroyed Derek’s possessions, all his rage, all his hate was directed at Derek. Kryupt wanted Derek dead and he had done everything he could to make that happen.

Fran appears suddenly, already dressed in her pajamas. “I forgot my book.” She picks it up but then notices the anguish on Derek’s face and the concern on Spencer’s. “What’s wrong?”

Derek averts his eyes, unable to even say what is bothering him.

Spencer meets Fran’s eyes. “We hate to bother you, Mama, but is it possible for us to swap rooms? It is simply not possible for us to sleep in that room.”

Fran looks at Spencer, taking note of the careful way he is speaking. Then she scans Derek and realizes that it is Derek that can’t bear to sleep in their bedroom. Fran may not know all the details but knows that Spencer’s stalker broke into their house and destroyed their bedroom. Her face softens and easily relents, “Of course we can. Give me a minute to move my suitcase and the room is all yours.” She waves off Derek’s attempt to get up and help her with her suitcase. Instinctively, Fran knows that stepping inside of that room is the last thing Derek wants to do.

Derek and Spencer’s bedroom has no bad memories for her, not like it does for Derek and Spencer. She didn’t see or know what they do and glad for it. All Fran sees are memories of walking past their door in the morning and seeing the adorable way the two men sleep snuggled together. She’s happy to stay here, especially since Derek clearly would rather sleep on the floor than enter this room.

Without a word, Fran swaps pillows and then goes back to the living room. “I’m going to say goodnight.”

In a small voice, Derek asks, “Are you sure? We could…” He trails off, knowing there really isn’t anywhere else for them to sleep. Unless Spencer sleeps on the couch and he sleeps on the floor. But Spencer shouldn’t sleep on the couch while he is recovering.

“Sweetheart, I am perfectly content to sleep in that big bed. I can sleep like a starfish and have plenty of extra room,” Fran teases, winking at Spencer.

Spencer smiles gratefully. “It is rather large, isn’t it? Perfect for starfish sleeping.”

Derek’s lips twitch into a reluctant smile. “Thanks, Mama.”

“Have a good night’s rest, boys.” She kisses their cheeks and goes back into the Master.

Spencer nudges Derek. “Come on, Der. Let’s go to bed.”

Derek sags in relief, “Okay.” The guest bedroom hadn’t been touched. Kryupt’s presence hasn’t corrupted that room. Derek lies down and for the first time in too long, he feels the familiar warmth of Spencer next to him. Something in him eases, as if a piece of him hadn’t been sure that Spencer would get better until now. It feels good for both of them to be able to sleep in each other’s arms again. Derek and Spencer kiss slow and deep, drinking from each other with familiar heat. Derek strokes Spencer’s hair reverently, “I love you, Pretty Boy.”

Spencer smiles back, “I love you, Derek.”

They sleep easily with the knowledge that they are both going to be okay. They will get through this together.  

**CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM**

The next day, Fran cooks breakfast and they have an enjoyable meal, comfortable and quiet. No words are spoken of the previous night. Fran slept well and so did Derek and Spencer and that is what matters.

She takes a break to read and relax before returning to meal making when Desiree and Ry arrive.

Desiree and Ry practically shove Derek out the door. Derek makes an ‘I’ll be watching you’ gesture at Desiree, which makes both Ry and Spencer snicker. Derek hasn’t let Desiree forget the incident where she touched Spencer’s butt and dove face first into his lap, not for a second despite it being two years later.

Desiree rolls her eyes, “Are you _ever_ going to forget that? I’ve said I was sorry like a billion times!”

Derek smirks at her, “Never gonna happen—”

“ _Because you touched my Pretty Boy’s ass and I’m never going to forget it,_ ” Desiree finishes sarcastically. She’s been hearing the same thing for two long years.

“Damn straight!” Derek confirms.

Spencer watches in amusement and promises, “I will be fine, Derek. Desiree will behave herself.”

Derek gives Desiree the stink eye and then winks at Spencer. “Love you, Pretty Boy.”

Spencer grins, both Desiree and Derek enjoy this game. It is why they’ve kept it going for so long. “Love you too, Der.”

Derek waves goodbye. He has to deal with the insurance people from the destruction of his possessions. Plus, he has to deal with all the issues from his faked death.

Desiree goes to the couch and sits next to Spencer. “Wow, Spencer, you look like shit!”

“Thanks, Des. It’s almost like I was shot or something,” Spencer jokes.

Ry shakes his head, “Twice! But worry not. Desi and I are here to keep your mind off it.” Ryuu grins and announces, “Harry Potter marathon!”

Spencer smiles, “Okay.” Derek will be happy to miss out on the Harry Potter marathon as he isn’t much of a fan of the series.

As they watch Harry and the other first years get sorted, Ryuu wonders aloud, “What house do you think we would be sorted in?” Spencer’s eyebrow rises. Ry gives him a look, “ _If_ Hogwarts was real. I know it’s not but just for fun.”

“Well, it is pretty obvious what house Desiree would be in,” Spencer says with a grin.

Ryuu and Spencer look at each other and say together, “Slytherin!” Not only does Desiree possess the qualities of a true Slytherin, she also values them highly. She’s Slytherin to the core.

Desiree shrugs, they aren’t wrong. She would excel in Slytherin! “What about Ryuu, Spencer? Where do you think he’d be?”

Spencer considers Ryuu. He’s a bit harder to place. Fun and mischievous, he reminds Spencer a bit of the Weasley twins. “It has to be between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff.”

He surprises Desiree by saying, “Hufflepuff.” Seeing his aunt’s expression, he explains, “Sure, everyone wants to be in Harry’s house…or Draco’s. But I’ve always liked Hufflepuff, they are the most overlooked house. Loyalty, patience, hard work and fairness are all admirable qualities.”

“Look at you getting all deep, Ryuu,” Desiree teases.

Ry grins, drawling, “I have layers.”

“Onions have layers!” Desiree squeals.

Ryuu rolls his eyes, retorting haughtily, “Parfaits have layers; everybody loves parfaits.” The implication that everybody loves _him_ is loud and clear.

Spencer shakes his head at the two, “Why am I not surprised that you both are quoting Shrek?”

Desiree smirks, “Because you’ve known us for two years?”

Spencer laughs. He really does love Desiree and Ryuu. Both of them accepted him immediately and they can always make him laugh.

“Now Spencer!” Desiree declares with unnerving glee. “I know everyone expects you’d be in Ravenclaw but I think you are a secret Slytherin.”

Ryuu grins, “You just want Spencer in your house.”

“Nu-uh, Spencer is absolutely Slytherin!” Desiree ticks off with her fingers, “Ambitious, cunning, resourceful.”

Ry shakes his head, ticking off his own points. “Intelligence, hello, certified _genius_! Knowledge, Spencer knows _everything_! He reads anything and everything he can get in the search of what? Knowledge! Wit, I think we have all witnessed Spencer’s snarky wit. Spencer is Ravenclaw through and through!”

“Slytherin!”

“Ravenclaw!”

Desiree and Ryuu glare at each other. Spencer watches with amusement, how they can get this worked up over which Harry Potter house he is in, he doesn’t know. Before the situation escalates to blows, Spencer declares, “Would you like to know what I think?”

The glaring contest breaks and both look at Spencer with interest.

“Ravenclaw is the most obvious choice.” Spencer spots Ry about to celebrate. He cautions, “I didn’t say I chose that house, merely that it is an understandable choice. Slytherin is less apparent but I admit I do value the qualities of the Slytherin house.” Desi looks smug. Spencer warns, “I didn’t chose Slytherin either yet, Desiree.” Desiree pouts slightly at being denied. “I know what my team would say,” Spencer admits.

Des and Ry look at each other, both are remembering the stories they’d been told of Spencer’s courage and bravery. “Gryffindor,” they answer together, sounding resigned. How many times has Derek told them how foolishly reckless Spencer can be? How many times has he said that Spencer is bravest of them all? That Spencer is strong enough to go into a gunfight with his mind as his only weapon?

“Is there _any_ house you don’t fit into?” Ryuu grumbles.

Spencer laughs.

“I’m changing my vote to Gryffindor,” Desiree declares. While Spencer is Slytherin, he’s more Gryffindor. She can win this with Gryffindor.

It doesn’t take long for Spencer to come to a decision. “Since I can’t choose both…”

“No cheating!” Ry declares.

“Ravenclaw.” The most important thing in his life has always been knowledge. His childhood, the only joy he truly found was in learning. He was the weird, skinny geek that was smarter than everyone. The foundation of not only who he is but what he values is knowledge and intelligence. And he doesn’t truly consider himself brave. Others seem to think he’s courageous but he only does what he needs to, even if that means facing a murderer without a weapon. “Plus, hiding in Ravenclaw, no one would expect _or_ suspect me.”

Desiree grins wickedly, “Who would believe a Ravenclaw of being as cunning as a snake and as brave as a lion? Imagine what you could get away with! Draco Malfoy would have nothing on you!” Desiree does a fist pump. “Secret Slytherin!”

Ryuu laughs, “And not so secret Gryffindor! You really are a genius, Spencer.”

**CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM**

The next day, Dave comes over to check on Spencer. He gives a pointed look to Derek, who nods and announces he’s going to go for a walk with his mama.

Spencer’s brows rise, wondering what Dave wants to talk to him about alone.

“How are you feeling?”

Spencer answers lightly, “Okay.” His body hurts and his craving for dilaudid is strong because of it. Although he hasn’t said it out loud to Derek, he knows that Derek at least suspects. But Derek won’t make Spencer talk about it unless he feels he needs to. Spencer also knows that Derek won’t be leaving him alone. Someone will be with him every moment, for support, for distraction, and most of all to prevent Spencer from going out to buy dilaudid. Spencer is thankful for Derek’s efforts to ensure his sobriety. He doesn’t want to go back to using. Pulling back from those thoughts, Spencer looks at Dave and pronounces, “Happy to be alive.”

Dave closes his eyes, his mind flashing back to being in the waiting room and his talk with Evelyn. “I’m really glad you’re okay, Spencer.”

Hearing the emotion in his voice, Spencer isn’t sure how to respond. He hasn’t had the best luck with the older men in his life; his father and Gideon are glaring examples. Dave’s lone wolf mentality and his lack of respect toward Spencer because of his age certainly hadn’t endeared him to Spencer when Rossi first joined the team. Spencer had been initially very hesitant to form any sort of bond with Rossi but eventually the man grew on him. Dave tends to do that; he’s a charmer.

“When you were in surgery and all of us were waiting to hear, one thought kept going through my head,” Dave says.

Spencer is curious. “Oh? What were you thinking?”

Dave smiles, one edge of his mouth slightly higher than the other. “I kept thinking: you are like a son to me and I never told you that.”

Spencer’s eyes fly to Dave’s, mouth hanging open in shock. “Y-You—I’m— _WHAT?_ ”

His heart aches a little for how shocked this magnificent boy is that someone would think him worthy of being a son. Dave’s hands cup Spencer’s face and gently guide him closer. “You are an amazing, intelligent man, Spencer. Any man would be lucky to have you as a son.” He watches tears form in Spencer’s expressive eyes. Dave kisses Spencer’s cheeks. “I would be proud to call you my son,” he promises.

Tears spill over Spencer’s cheeks. How long has he craved hearing those exact words from someone he respects? It isn’t something he would ever hear from his father and even if he did, it wouldn’t have the same meaning. His father abandoned him like a pet he no longer wanted to be responsible for.

Spencer doesn’t resist when Dave pulls him into a careful hug, crying into his shoulder as the older man rubs his back soothingly and murmurs quiet reassurances. Spencer sniffles loudly as his tears finally slow to a stop.

Dave eases back. Taking out a hankie, he gently wipes Spencer’s face clean and then his own tearstained face.

His eyes dart up to meet Dave’s gaze. “Th—That means a lot to me. Truly.”

Smiling, his brown eyes are shining with his own tears. “ _You_ mean a lot to me.”

Spencer’s answering smile is a tad shaky but absolutely genuine. He admits quietly, “You mean a lot to me as well, Dave. Like the f—father I never had and always wanted.” Dave is supportive, loving, and kind. Most of all, he is present and can be relied on. His word is his bond. Dave doesn’t lie. When he calls someone family that means something to him. Dave would never hurt him like his father had or even Gideon. He is not so callous or inconsiderate.

Dave knows exactly how hard it is for Spencer to admit that, knowing how both his biological father and once father figure, Gideon, had selfishly and cowardly abandoned the genius. “I know it is hard for you to believe, Spencer, and I do not blame you if you have doubts but I promise to always be there when you need me. No matter the time, the situation, you call and I’ll be there. You have my word.”

Spencer swallows around the lump in his throat. He wants to believe Dave, he does. But deep down a part of him is waiting for the moment Dave hurts him like the rest. For the moment Dave reveals that his love is conditional and he leaves Spencer behind without a care. Even knowing Dave’s loyal nature, it is still difficult to temper that deep seated fear. As irrational as it may be, that fear isn’t something that will change overnight. Spencer has been dealing with the damage done since his childhood and Gideon’s cowardly abandonment only made it worse. While he might wish differently, it will take time to overcome and learn to trust another father figure. “Thank you, Dave. I do appreciate the offer.” It has been a long time since he had a father figure to go to with his problems.

Dave lightens the emotional moment by joking, “Does this mean I get to have a heart to heart with Derek? Threatening his life if he hurts you and all that jazz?”

Shaking his head, Spencer giggles. “I bet Derek would be surprised considering we’ve been together for two years and you have known almost since the beginning.”

“Never too late to put the fear of God into the boyfriend of a man’s son. I do have a gun,” Dave adds cheekily.

“So does Derek,” Spencer advises. “Really, Dave, you don’t have to do that. Derek does not need to be threatened...again. He’s been sufficiently cowed, I assure you.”

Dave laughs, “Been threatened before, has he?”

Spencer grins, “A few times. By JJ. And Aaron. And Emily. And surprisingly Penelope. My mom, _Derek’s_ mom, Josh, and Desiree. I think Derek understands perfectly that if he hurts me, a large number of our family and friends will be out for his blood. I believe he’s also been threatened that if he loses me, everyone is choosing me over him, including his family.”

“Good, because we would,” Dave professes.

Sometimes, Spencer sits back and marvels at his life. He is loved, greatly and abundantly. He cherishes every moment of it.

Dave smiles, the moment between them is comfortable. “What are you planning for Christmas?”

Spencer has no idea despite Christmas nearly being here. He is still recovering and that means they won’t be able to make their traditional trip to Chicago for Christmas this year. By some miracle, they have managed to make the trip to Chicago both prior years, although last year’s occurred after the actual date. “I don’t know. Nothing yet.”

“The Morgan’s aren’t planning on coming back to D.C. for Christmas?” He knows most of the family had to go back home.

“No, they won’t be able to make it,” Spencer mourns with a shake of his head. “We won’t get a family Christmas this year unfortunately. Mama will be leaving tomorrow morning.”

“Who’s driving her to the airport?”

“Derek.”

Dave offers, “I could drive her.”

“You’d do that?”

“Of course I would.”

“That would be great, Dave. Thank you.”

Dave asks, “What about Derek’s sister and nephew? Have they left yet?”

“Yeah, Desiree and Ry had to leave last night. So they won’t be here for Christmas either. Derek could go to Chicago himself, I suppose.”

Dave chuckles, “As if he would leave you, especially when you are recovering.”

Grinning, Spencer admits, “True. I’m a lucky guy.”

“Derek is blessed to have you and your love in his life. I cannot imagine him without you.” Dave remembers seeing that bleak desperation in Derek’s eyes while they waited for news of Spencer. He doesn’t know if Derek _can_ face life without Spencer. He prays Derek won’t be forced to find out until they are both old and gray. “And I cannot imagine you without him, either.”

“Me neither,” Spencer admits. Derek is the love of his life; he makes life worth living. “As long as Derek is with me, we can overcome anything.”

“I believe it.”

Getting back to Dave’s earlier question, Spencer asks, “What are you doing for Christmas?”

“Well, that is what I was hoping to talk to you about. The team was talking and we had an idea. Because neither you nor your mom can travel and Derek’s family is unable to make it, what about all us celebrate Christmas together?”

Spencer smiles, he’ll miss Christmas with the Morgan’s but Christmas with his second family sounds really nice. “I’d like that.”

“Perfect. All you and Derek need to do is bring yourselves, we’ll do the rest.” After a beat, Dave adds, “And no presents. But donations to charities are always welcome. Eleven o’clock on Christmas Eve? And then, whoever wants to come Christmas day can as well. I know JJ will spend it with her family.”

Smiling, Spencer proclaims, “That sounds like a great idea. I wish we could make it to Chicago for Christmas but spending it with my second family sounds truly great.”

Maybe he and Derek can schedule a week or a couple of weekends to get Derek’s family together. It won’t be Christmas but spending time together is more important than gifts.

“Perfect, I’ll start compiling the menu. It will be delizioso!” Dave vows. He’s a true Italian; food is in his blood, his heritage. He loves to cook, loves to eat, and loves to feed the people he loves.

Spencer’s smile turns a bit sly. “Will Evelyn be there?”

Dave chuckles, amused at Spencer’s lack of subtlety. “I’ll have to ask but I hope so.”

“I like her.”

Nodding his head, Dave admits, “I do too.”

“You deserve to be happy,” Spencer declares. Dave hasn’t been lucky in love but he’s a good man and deserves to be loved. Their job isn’t easy for women to deal with but Evelyn seems strong enough to take Dave’s absences with poise and understanding.

“Thank you, Spencer.” Evelyn is a catch; Dave knows this. She is strong and independent. She doesn’t need a man to be happy. He thinks Evie is the first woman that might be able to handle his lifestyle without feeling resentment for his dedication to the job. She is special and he hopes their relationship can develop further.

Some minutes later, Derek and Fran come back from their walk. They are deliberately noisy to make sure the two men know they are coming. Derek’s eyes scan Spencer critically, trying to figure out what Dave wanted to talk to Spencer about alone. His love’s genuine smile signals that whatever they talked about wasn’t bad.

Dave says a quick goodbye, giving both men and Fran a hug and vowing to pick Fran up the next morning before leaving.

Derek’s brow quirks, clearly asking what Dave wanted to talk about. His keen eyes spot the happiness in Spencer’s expression. “He said that he had one thought going through his head while he was waiting for news during my surgery.” Spencer pauses, smiling at the memory of what Dave said. “The thought was that I am like a son to him and he never told me.”

“Oh, Baby.” Derek hugs Spencer, thrilled for him. Spencer deserves it, to have a father figure who loves him. Over the years they’ve been together, Derek has wished his father was alive. His pop would have loved Spencer. But now Spencer has Dave, who loves Spencer as much as his pop would have. That makes him happy.

Fran holds her hands to her chest, her heart swelling in happiness. She wishes Derek’s father was still alive. He would have loved Spencer but at least he has Dave now. The boy deserves to have a father figure. “I’m so happy for you, Spencer. You deserve to know the love of a father and now it seems you have that.”

Spencer’s eyes wet with tears, “Thank you.” He pulls Fran into the hug, “Thank you for being a second mother to me.”

“My honor and pleasure, Spencer.”

When Spencer gets settled back onto the couch, he says, “Dave invited us to have Christmas at his house. Sounds like everyone will be there. I said we’d like that.”

Derek smiles, “Of course, that sounds great.”

Fran expression turns sad, she would stay for Christmas if she could but she can’t. “I hope you both have a good Christmas. Although I wish the family could be with you to celebrate. We’ll miss you.”

“We will miss having Christmas with you too, Mama,” Derek admits regretfully.

“Derek, could—”

Fran waves her hand, knowing what Spencer is about to offer. “No. He needs to stay with you, Son.”

Derek grins at Fran’s quick rejection.

“But—”

“No, Spencer. He would spend the whole time wondering about you. It’s better this way.”

Spencer reluctantly agrees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is from a Ben Harper song called “Forever” as I thought this lyric fits Spencer and Derek perfectly: “So give me your forever/Please your forever/Not a day less will do/From you”
> 
> I do not own Spencer unfortunately, nor Derek nor any of the CM people. The storyline is mine however, as are the OC’s.


	2. The House

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Revamped 12/31/15

The next morning comes too fast for them. Fran is soon packed and ready to go, although she wishes she could stay longer. Fran hugs both her sons tight and kisses their cheeks. “I love you both so much. Take care of each other, okay?”

“Of course, Mama,” Spencer and Derek answer together. Another round of hugs and love you’s later and Dave arrives.

“Thanks for doing this, Dave.”

Dave smiles crookedly, “My pleasure, Derek.”

Getting into Dave’s SUV, Fran keeps silent for a mile or so. “It was nice of you to offer to drive me.”

“I figured it would be easier for both Derek and Spencer, that way Spencer wouldn’t feel left out when he can’t leave the house and Derek wouldn’t feel guilty about leaving him behind.”

“Insightful.”

Dave chuckles softly, “Well, I am a profiler.”

“Yes, you are and from what my boys have said you are a very good one.”

Dave acknowledges the compliment with a brief nod.

“There is something I would like to discuss, however.”

He glances over quickly before returning to the road, noting the serious expression on her face. “I’m listening.”

“What you said to Spencer was nice. He is a special boy and deserves a father figure.”

“I agree, he is very special young man. I’m honored to know and love him.”

Fran scans his face, noticing the soft fondness. She can see he truly does care for Spencer. “As you should be.”

Dave smiles, not at all minding Fran’s almost haughty tone.

“You know his history, yes?”

Nodding slowly, Dave confirms, “Yes, I do.”

“Then you know what would happen should you decide to renege on your promise.”

Dave isn’t surprised at Fran’s warning. “I do.” He pauses briefly before continuing, “I promise I thought a lot about this before I even considered telling Spencer. His attack may have sped up the process but I wouldn’t have said anything unless I was certain. I took the time to ensure I was doing this for the right reason, to make certain I decided to do what was best for Spencer and not just for me. He has been hurt badly by his father and Gideon. I do not want to add to his burden.” Dave admits, “I don’t have children of my own. I was never blessed with any and the thought that one day Spencer could see me as a father is my greatest wish. I know Spencer isn’t a child and that I cannot erase the scars of his childhood. But I can be there for him when he needs me and even when he doesn’t. I can love him like I raised him.”

The sincerity and emotion in his voice reassures her. Dave didn’t take this decision lightly.

“I do not want to hurt Spencer. That is the last thing I want to do. I only want to show him love and that he can trust me to be the man I vow to be.”

Fran touches Dave’s arm. “That is what I needed to hear.” They share a smile.

“Don’t worry, Fran. I know what I am getting into. If it makes you feel better, I am fully aware that if I hurt Spencer, I will have a mob of loved ones out for my blood,” Dave offers.

Fran laughs, “Yes, you certainly would.” She’d be one of them. Nobody hurts her babies.

**CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM**

An hour later, Josh comes over, announcing an all day Doctor Who marathon. Spencer smiles and agrees without hesitation. He loves Doctor Who. “Enjoy, guys.” Derek looks to Josh, “Take care of him.”

Josh nods absentmindedly as he sets up the show. “Of course. I’ll let you know if he needs anything.”

Derek looks at Clooney, who seems to be able to read his mind and lies down protectively at Spencer’s feet. With that, Derek leaves the house. In his truck, he quickly calls Lucas. “Hey Luc, you busy?”

“Nah, what do you need?”

“Can you meet me at the house? I want it ready as soon as possible.” Derek considered taking his mama to see it but thought it best that Spencer see it first. Luc and Josh are the only ones who have seen the house. Both helped out in the remodel.

“Sure, meet you there.”

Arriving at the house, Derek takes the time to look at all the changes he made on the outside. Come spring the lawn will be healthy, nothing like the patchy mess it was when he bought the property. The flower beds he added will be filled with flowers that he and Spencer will pick out. The siding and roof were replaced. The house looks significantly better; it no longer has that neglected aura. It looks like a home again. The house is a light gray with a blue roof. Derek has no doubts that he could sell this property for a hefty profit but he remodeled this house with him and Spencer in mind. Smiling to himself, Derek goes inside.

The entryway is open and the table Derek had built that matches the wood floors sits just inside the door. It is perfect for Spencer’s messenger bag and their keys. Underneath is an ideal spot for their go bags. Derek loves the open plan of the house. He walks to the large and open living room. He can picture their couch and chairs, their entertainment system in the space. But most importantly Derek can see _them_ here, cuddling on the couch together or him watching football while combing his fingers through Spencer’s hair, his love’s head in his lap while he reads. He can see Spencer curled up in a comfy chair by the window, absorbed in a book, with Clooney at his feet. Derek can see his nieces and nephews here, and any children he and Spencer have. He can picture their lives here.

Next, he goes to the kitchen, which had to be completely redone. Nice sized with sleek, new appliances, including the double oven that Spencer not so secretly desires. Derek can see Spencer bouncing to the music as he cooks in this kitchen. He trails a finger across the new countertops. He chose quartz, a good durable stone that looks good and does not take much to maintain. The quartz he selected is a bold blue that draws the eye. The lights are the same blue while the cabinets are white. Derek hopes that Spencer will like the clean look he chose for the kitchen.

Moving on, he briefly scans the half bath on his way to the room he chose for his office. It is not a large room but will have enough space for all that he’ll need for his office. He painted the room a warm brown and knows he will feel at ease in this room. He ignores the laundry room and medium sized bedroom and stops at the most important room in the house for Spencer: the library. The room is floor to ceiling bookshelves, which Spencer will no doubt be able to fill in no time. There is a reading nook that he knows Spencer will love. Derek added a couple of comfy chairs that fit nicely in the room. They could even add a small desk, should Spencer want one. Spencer will never want to leave.

Then Derek goes upstairs to check out the two extra bedrooms and the full bathroom. Derek smiles to himself, seeing in his mind his mother coming for a visit and staying in the guest bedroom. He can also see him and Spencer decorating for the child or children they have in the future. Josh could paint a mural for the kids as well. With a smile on his lips, Derek goes to the spacious master suite. Their king-sized bed will fit in here with no difficulty. There’s room for a nice chair and all their bedroom furniture: nightstands and dressers. Josh painted the room in shades of violet, which Spencer should love as it is his favorite color. Derek wasn’t entirely confident that he would like the color but it has turned out nice. Different from their current Master, a new and fresh start. No reminders of their invaded sanctuary here. Derek examines the master bath; it has a huge bathtub and spacious shower that can easily fit both of them at the same time. No doubt they will enjoy both sharing a bath or a shower together. His fantasies are interrupted when he hears the doorbell ring.

Derek goes downstairs and lets Lucas in. They waste no time going from room to room and deciding what finishing touches need to be done. They head down to the basement, working on the family room that Derek set up. They break for lunch and then start on the finishing touches for the rest of the house. Since they hadn’t had much left to do, the house is completely done by the end of the day. It is finally ready for Spencer to see.

“I hope he likes it,” Derek says, looking around.

Luc laughs at him; it could not be more obvious that Derek remodeled the house for Spencer. Every little detail is a declaration of Derek’s love for Spencer. “Spencer is going to absolutely love it. He will see that you built this house for him, for you both.”

“You think so?”

“I know it, Derek. This house was built with your love in every corner of it. Spencer will feel that.”

Derek smiles faintly. “I hope so.”

Luc adds, “Plus, it is the clean slate you both need.”

Derek nods absentmindedly. “Yeah, I can’t go into our bedroom anymore. I tried but—” he shudders, “it simply feels—tainted. It doesn’t feel like home for either of us after what happened.”

Lucas slaps Derek’s back. “I get it.” He is not surprised by Derek and Spencer’s reaction to the violation of their home. It is understandable to feel like Kryupt’s presence had contaminated their sanctuary. The memories of not only the destruction Kryupt made in the house but the knowledge that he had watched Spencer and Derek in their refuge, is unsurprisingly difficult for Spencer and Derek to live with. “You both will be happy here.”

Smiling, Derek nods in agreement. “I think so.”

“So how go the proposal plans?”

“I’m getting there. I want it to be perfect, especially after what happened.”

Lucas smiles, vowing, “Spencer doesn’t need perfect. He just needs you.”

“I know. He deserves perfection though.”

“Nervous?”

Derek laughs a little uneasily. “Yeah.”

“Spencer is going to say yes, Derek.”

“But—what if he doesn’t?”

Lucas gives Derek an ‘are you kidding me’ look and answers firmly, “He will.” Derek and Spencer’s love knows no bounds; there are far too few couples with a love as solid and true as theirs is.

**CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM**

The doorbell ringing interrupts the Doctor Who marathon. Josh and Spencer look at each other, Spencer shrugs. He isn’t expecting anyone. They watch as Clooney scrambles to the door, not barking as he does when strangers come to the door but wiggling happily like he does when it is a friend at the door. Josh answers the door, wondering who it is. Spencer smiles as he recognizes the voice at the door.

Penelope Garcia flutters in, looking like a cheerful, colorful fairy. “Spencer! How is my Boy Genius doing?” Before he can answer, she lifts up the bag in her hand. “I brought food!”

“Hi Penelope, I’m doing alright.”

Pen hugs Spencer carefully. She doesn’t want to let him go, remembering not only how she felt when he was shot but also how Derek felt. Penelope had seen Spencer when he woke up after his surgery of course but seeing him back home brings all those emotions back. They could have lost Spencer and she doesn’t know if Derek could survive losing Spencer. Their hearts and souls are irrevocably linked. “I am so happy you are okay, Sweetie.”

Spencer smiles as she continues to hug him. Penelope is more emotional than the rest of the BAU. She is a good friend to Derek and to him. “Me too, Pen. Me too.”

Penelope finally pulls back and wipes the tears from her cheeks. Shaking off the mood, she announces, “I brought your favorite, white chocolate raspberry scones. Plus, blueberry oatmeal pie, which you are sure to love! I eat it cold; it is sooo yummy! And overnight French toast, a cinnamon coffee cake, a blueberry mango coffee cake, and blackberry vanilla sweet rolls!”

“I think you went a little overboard, Pen. But I do love breakfast for supper,” Spencer gushes. He loves breakfast foods.

“And chocolate chip squash muffins and roasted strawberry whole wheat muffins. Oh, and for dessert, I made a chocolate cream pie and a variety of cookies.”

Spencer laughs, shaking his head. “You _definitely_ went overboard, Penelope. It is just Derek and I here you know.”

Penelope waves her hands, a clear dismissal. “Nonsense! You’ll be having visitors. Plus, you can freeze some of it too.” They follow her into the kitchen, watching as she spreads her food out over the counter tops. She tucks everything that needs to be kept cool quickly in the fridge. “And I didn’t forget you either, Clooney,” she says with a smile. Penelope pulls out a little box of homemade dog treats. “Peanut butter, your favorite.” She leans down and offers a treat to Clooney, who takes it gently and runs off to the living room where he always seems to eat his treats.

Josh snakes a sweet roll, humming contently at the taste. Spencer’s fingers dance over the choices, selecting a scone and popping it in the microwave to warm it up. He bites into the warm scone, enjoying the perfect balance between the tartness of the raspberries and the sharp sweetness of the white chocolate chips. “Mmmh, delicious as always.”

Pen grins happily at the sight of Spencer’s blissful expression. Making Spencer happy is always especially sweet. He is exceedingly lovable and often times it takes little to make him happy.

Spencer finds the blueberry mango coffee cake and takes out three plates, dishing each with a slab of cake. “Come join us, Pen. We are having a Doctor Who marathon.”

Penelope squeals excitedly. “Awesome! Which Doctor?” She gets her answer as she looks at the image frozen on the television screen. She settles in a chair while Josh and Spencer share the couch. They are too engrossed in the show to take any notice of the hours passing by until Lucas arrives.

Spencer watches as Josh lights up at the sight of his husband. They are a beautiful pair, the epitome of opposites attracting but they fit together perfectly. The kiss they share is both familiar and just a little dirty.

Pen whistles and catcalls playfully.

When the two men break, they are smiling.

Penelope fans herself dramatically, which merely makes Josh smirk.

Smiling, Spencer asks, “How was the house?”

Only Luc’s training keeps the surprise from his face and he stares at Spencer stoically, not sure how to answer.

“The newest house Derek is remodeling? He said you were helping him out today.”

“It went great,” Lucas answers, wondering if he should say more or leave it at that.

“Good. It’s done, right? Derek was hoping to finish it today. He said I’d get to see it soon.”

Luc nods, carefully keeping the secretive smile that wants to escape contained. “He did say he was looking forward to showing it off to you.” _*Especially since the house is for you.*_ He can feel Josh’s hidden amusement; he knows all about the house, having helped some.

Spencer grins, “He seems really excited about this house. And so secretive! I think this house is his baby. Der’s like a child at Christmas, anticipating my reaction when I finally see the house. He wants it to be a surprise. He must really be proud of this one.”

“He certainly is proud of it,” Lucas admits. “As he should be.”

As tempted as he is to want to get details out of Luc, Spencer refrains. Derek wants this to be a surprise and he won’t ruin that. “I’m surprised Derek didn’t come back with you. Did he stay behind to finish something?”

“No, the insurance people wanted to talk to him again. He should be back fairly soon.”

“Perfect. Could I borrow your muscles? Pen, you can help too if you like.”

The three immediately agree, only asking what Spencer needs done.

“Move our stuff from the Master to the guest bedroom?” Spencer asks quietly without explanation.

Luc, Josh, and Penelope look between Spencer and each other before they all nod. None of them question him. Clearly either Derek or both of them is having difficulty entering the room. If it had been only Spencer with the problem, Derek would have already moved things.

With quiet efficiency, the three of them move everything they can into the guest bedroom.

None say anything when Derek comes home. They eat a boisterous meal before Penelope, Josh, and Lucas all go home for the night.

**CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM**

That night Derek realizes that Josh, Lucas, and possibly Penelope must have moved their stuff from the Master. Spencer must have asked them. He’s grateful on a number of levels. The door to the Master is closed and Derek doesn’t have to worry about asking Spencer to get something because he can’t bear to go inside. Also, Derek is thankful that none of them commented. He feels a little insecure about his vulnerability concerning the Master. It means a lot that they would do this for him. He settles less tensely into the guest bedroom, where they have slept since the first night. The thought of sleeping in their bedroom where Kryupt had been still makes Derek shiver. If he had lost Spencer—Derek pushes the thought away. _*Spencer is fine. He is alive and he’ll make a full recovery.*_ He tries not to dwell on those dark thoughts, having spent too much time on them while he waited for Spencer to wake after surgery. Derek repeats the mantra he’s been saying to himself since Spencer woke, _*Spencer’s alive. I’m alive. We’re together.*_

As he tries to sleep, Spencer thinks about his family and friends. Every day someone else comes over to visit with him. All the attention is welcome, not only has it distracted him from the pain of his recovery and kept him from getting bored but it also warms his heart. Spencer remembers being that lonely child that no one wanted to be friends with, whose only friend was his own mother. And books of course. But now, he has friends and family. He isn’t alone or lonely anymore. And having almost lost everything, Spencer appreciates his loved ones all the more, Derek, first and foremost, but also his mother, the Morgan’s and Takada’s, Luc and Josh, Dave and his BAU family. With them, he has found love, loyalty, and happiness. With that thought, Spencer falls asleep with a contented smile on his face.

With Spencer sleeping securely in his arms, Derek thinks of his plans. He needs to do this proposal right. Derek is sure that Spencer would be happy with him pulling out the ring and simply asking him. But Derek wants to make it special because Spencer deserves it. He is organizing a scavenger hunt with their friends and family for Spencer. Derek wants it to be filled with moments from their lives. And at the end, Derek wants a cozy picnic with just the two of them. Derek wants it to be perfect.

With Spencer’s familiar heat beside him, he falls asleep easily.

**CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM**

Hours later, Derek wakes to sound of Spencer’s sobs. “Baby? What’s wrong?”

Spencer winces at the loud question. “Shh, it hurts.”

“What hurts?” Derek whispers.

Spencer’s hands clutch his head, “Migraine.”

Derek scrambles out of bed. “Close your eyes,” he says. After a moment, he digs into Spencer’s nightstand using his phone as a flashlight. Derek finds Spencer’s migraine medication and puts two pills into Spencer’s hand. He grabs the glass on the nightstand and hands it to Spencer. Once Spencer swallows the pills, Derek wets a washcloth and climbs into their bed. He tenderly guides Spencer to his side and drapes the washcloth over his eyes. Derek begins to rub Spencer’s neck. Spencer quiets under his gentle care. Derek is relieved when he falls back asleep. Spencer doesn’t often get migraines but when he does, they are bad. Derek’s learned over their two years together what works and what doesn’t. Darkness and quiet are the obvious ones. But somehow Derek’s touch always helps, which he is thankful for. He hates seeing Spencer in pain but knowing that his touch can provide relief, that he can do something to help Spencer’s pain makes it a bit easier to take.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote a little oneshot scene recently where Spencer and Derek talk about kids but I haven't posted it yet. At some point in my He's the One That I Want Verse, they will be having kids. I'd love some input on the how. Mpreg? Surrogacy? Adoption? A mixture (surrogacy and adoption, adoption and mpreg, etc)? I already asked this in my Facebook group. Almost all said mpreg.


	3. Addiction, Reading, and Languages

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No longer an author note, here's chapter three.

Spencer and Derek sleep late the next morning. Migraines are taxing and adding his injuries has only served to make him more exhausted. With effort, Spencer drags himself to the kitchen. He dances his slim fingers over the vast variety of bakery items Penelope brought, choosing a sweet roll and a slice of blueberry oatmeal pie for himself and a slice of pie for Derek. Derek gets them both coffee and cuts up some fruit.

After eating, Spencer plops down on the couch with a stack of books. It’s a good day for reading. Derek flicks on some soft music, grabs his tablet, and sits on the couch. Spencer automatically drifts close, resting his head on Derek’s shoulder. The familiar position is a comfort to them both.

While Spencer reads, Derek thinks about the house he remodeled for them. It will be the fresh start they both need. Without Barry Kryupt’s intrusion, Derek imagines it would have been more difficult to leave this house. This has been their home for a good portion of their relationship. They have a lot of happy memories here. But this isn’t home anymore, not to him and not to Spencer. Like a toxin, Kryupt’s presence has corrupted their house, especially the bedroom. The knowledge that Kryupt, the man that tried to kill both he and Spencer, had been inside and concentrated his hate there has made it impossible for Derek to even step into it. Anything that Kryupt hadn’t destroyed of his that remained in the bedroom was moved into the guest room quietly by Luc and Josh last night after he and Luc left the new house. While he and Spencer haven’t talked about moving, Derek knows that Spencer is more than willing to leave this place behind. Spencer may be able to enter their bedroom but he isn’t entirely comfortable in this house either. Both cannot escape the knowledge that Kryupt not only spied on them here during their most private and intimate moments but entered and spewed his evilness inside what was once their sanctuary. Derek knows that this house _can_ become a home again, just not theirs.

His thoughts turn to Christmas, which is nearly here, wondering how it will go this year. Derek briefly considered proposing for Christmas but decided against it. He wants the proposal to be his and Spencer’s day and only theirs. Spencer deserves that.

Spending it with their second family should be fun, not the same as Christmas with the Morgan clan but nice. It will be good for Spencer to see all of them and for them to see Spencer. They haven’t wanted to overwhelm him with visitors and most of them haven’t gotten to see Spencer since he came home.

**CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM**

The first time Spencer leaves the house since being released from the hospital is for an NA meeting. He has been clean for closing in on seven years now. In the last six plus years, Spencer has never gone more than a month without going to a meeting. It had been hard to accept his weakness and that no matter how many years go by, he will always be an addict. Nothing can change that. It’s the most vital reason Spencer is absolutely dedicated to remaining a _recovering_ addict.

He has learned to take the fluctuation of craving as a part of being a recovering addict. It isn’t something he can change, no addict can. Sometimes all he needs is a monthly meeting, while other times he needs multiple meetings per week or even daily ones. He tends to stick to law enforcement NA groups but has gone to general ones as well. Spencer is always, _always_ aware of places he can find a meeting should he need one on a case. He takes his sobriety with due seriousness. Narcotics, even when advisable by medical doctors, are something he has fervently and absolutely refused since getting clean. Spencer would rather deal with the pain, no matter how great, than threaten his sobriety. Derek and the others all know of this and Spencer trusts each of them to ensure his wishes are followed even if he’s unconscious.

Derek makes sure Spencer gets inside, waving to several of the men and women he’s met before. He approaches one man in particular, shaking his hand in greeting.“Hi John.” John is Spencer’s sponsor, a man that is important to Spencer and thus important to him. Derek knew, of course, that Spencer had a sponsor but it wasn’t until they got together that Spencer invited him into that part of his life. Spencer took him to meet John and John’s wife, Susan, for dinner. She had invited Derek to her NA family support group and he continues to go regularly. The support has been helpful over the past two years. At times, Derek feels helpless. He wants to protect Spencer but he can’t, not truly. He cannot take away Spencer’s craving or cure his addiction, no matter how much he desires to. Spencer may be doing great now but he and Spencer both know that can change in the blink of an eye. Derek prays that he never has to see that because he knows how it would crush Spencer to falter in his sobriety. But if it happens, Derek will be by his side, helping him get clean again.

After greeting the people he knows and getting Spencer settled, he kisses him lightly and leaves. While he has gone to a couple meetings with Spencer when he needed the extra support, Spencer had not asked him to stay this time. Derek has his tablet and plans on visiting a nearby coffee shop while Spencer is at his meeting. He thinks nothing of leaving Spencer here; he will be safe here, surrounded by other law enforcement officers. They know what happened and that Spencer is still healing, they will watch out for him. John and the others would protect Spencer with their lives, if necessary.

When the meeting ends, Spencer calls Derek. Arriving minutes later, Derek finds John and several others are talking with Spencer. Pretty Boy looks tired but has an aura of steadiness surrounding him. Spencer doesn’t often speak about his addiction but Derek distinctly remembers the one time he compared the meetings to condoms of all things.

“ _Condoms?” Derek asks skeptically._

“ _A significant number of men carry condoms in their wallets or stash them in their cars. Women often do the same by keeping condoms in their purses.”_

_Derek smiles at the look in Spencer’s eyes. It reminds him of the rant-slash-lecture he gave the team once during a case where a politician got his mistress pregnant, likely because of an expired condom. The man snapped and murdered his mistress and then started murdering random, unmarried pregnant women until the BAU finally caught him._

“ _The condom is a precautionary action, to allow a man, or a woman, to be prepared for any unexpected opportunity to use it. A ‘it’s there if I need it’ sense of mentality.”_

_Derek nods his understanding, despite his amusement at Spencer’s analogy._

“ _Granted, condoms are not unbreakable or one hundred percent effective. They cannot always prevent pregnancy. Not infallible but definitely a proficient protection. The meetings are akin to that. They cannot prevent relapses. It is only my will that decides whether or not that will happen. That is why sponsors are vital. Smart addicts will reach out to their sponsors when they are at their weakest. To combine their will with that of their sponsor’s. Protection, support. Also not infallible but to an addict, a sponsor can be the thing that tips the scale in his or her favor. Like sponsors, neither the people nor the actual meeting can prevent an addict from using again. But they can provide a ‘protection’ if you will. Going to a meeting is like renewing that protection, like recharging a battery. It is psychological. A reminder that you are not alone and that others, whether one day sober or twenty years sober, struggle with the same feelings and desires that you do. The support is invaluable. It is important to know you are not alone.”_

_The analogy gives Derek a clearer understanding of the importance of the meetings and his sponsor to Spencer and all addicts. He tugs Spencer close. “I’m glad you have that protection, Spencer.”_

“ _Me too,” Spencer admits softly._

As then, Derek is thankful to NA for their role in Spencer’s continued sobriety. He doesn’t doubt that Spencer could do it alone if he had to but with NA, John, and Derek willing to lend their support at any time, Spencer does not have to. “Ready to go home?”

Spencer nods and leans tiredly against Derek, trusting him to support his weight. He closes his eyes and lets Derek lead him back to the truck.

**CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM**

“Morgan.”

“Hey Morgan, it’s Hotch. Jack was wondering if Spencer is up for a visit.”

Derek looks over at Spencer. “Of course. He’s just reading. As long as it isn’t too strenuous, he should be fine.”

“Great. An hour sound okay?”

“Sure.”

“See you then.”

Derek hangs up. “Spencer, that was…” He halts as Spencer holds up one finger and waits.

Finishing the chapter, Spencer puts a finger in his book and looks up. “You were saying?”

“Jack wants to come over. He and Aaron should be here in about an hour.”

Spencer smiles. He likes Jack; he’s an intelligent, curious child. He sees Aaron’s intensity in him when Jack is truly interested in something. “Okay.” He smiles wider, realizing he should have time to finish this book before they get here.

Derek shakes his head but allows Spencer to get back to his book. How anyone’s mind can comprehend words that quickly still boggles his mind.

**CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM**

Jack and Aaron are met at the door by Derek and Clooney. Jack has several books in hand, which he passes to his dad. He sinks to the floor and greets Clooney enthusiastically, both of them wiggling happily.

Derek ruffles Jack’s hair in greeting, “Hi Jack.” He turns to Hotch, “Aaron, how is work going without us?”

“With what happened, we’ve been granted a bit of a break. We have done some consulting, no traveling cases though. Mostly, we’re catching up on paperwork, although none of us are able to complete it as fast as Reid can.”

“Now you see why Emily and I push ours onto him. Much faster.”

Aaron smirks, “And less work for the two of you.”

Derek grins and shrugs, not denying it. “Come on in, Spencer’s in the living room.”

Jack gives Clooney one last pat, grabs the books from his dad and rushes over to Spencer. “Hi Uncle Spencer!”

Smiling genuinely, he greets, “Hello Jack.”

“Are you feeling better? Does it still hurt?”

Not one to lie to children, Spencer answers truthfully, “I am doing okay. It does hurt but I am healing. It is to be expected.”

“When I’m sick, Dad reads to me,” Jack explains.

“My mother did the same for me.”

Jack knows Spencer’s mom is sick, even if he doesn’t know with what. “Do—do you read to her now?” he asks with child-like innocence.

“I do, every time I visit her, I bring books to read to her.”

Jack lifts the books in his hands and offers, “I could read to you, if you want? I brought books.” His uncle Spencer has read to him lots of times and most of the time, he doesn’t even need the book to remember all the words. Jack wants to return the favor.

“I would really like that, Jack.”

Beaming, Jack asks, “Which one would you like me to read?”

“You choose.”

Jack thinks hard before picking _The BFG_ by Roald Dahl. It is one of his favorites. He sets the other books down on the end table and hops onto the couch next to Spencer. A little afraid to hurt his uncle, Jack keeps a careful distance between them.

Spencer notices the care and nudges Jack closer until he’s snug against his side. Spencer tucks him under his arm.

“I won’t hurt you like this?” Jack asks, sounding worried.

“No, Jack. You won’t hurt me if you are gentle. Just no sudden movements, okay?”

Getting comfortable slowly, Jack relaxes, “Okay.” He is really happy Uncle Spencer is alive and will get better. “Ready for the story?”

“I sure am.”

Jack begins to read. It is a story he has been read and has read himself many times. Roald Dahl’s books are odd and funny.

Aaron and Derek watch from the doorway, both melting a little at the scene in front of them. Jack reads with excitement and enthusiasm, while Spencer listens avidly.

Not wanting to interrupt the moment, Aaron doesn’t greet Spencer. Jack needs the time with Spencer more than he does at the moment. Since Haley’s death, Jack is more conscious of the mortality of his loved ones. Jack needs to see that Spencer is okay. It makes Aaron’s day being able to see his son bonding with his pseudo-brother, who is mostly whole and happy.

“He is going to be a great father someday,” Aaron states. A lot has changed since Spencer joined the BAU. Not too many years ago, Aaron would have laughed silly at the thought of Spencer as a father. Babies used to hate him, crying the instant he even got near them. But now, Spencer is incredible with Jack and with Henry. He is endlessly patient and always eager to share himself and his knowledge and enthusiasm with children. Aaron doesn’t know how many times Spencer has read to Jack and Henry or taken them somewhere to expand their minds. They love him because he’s smart _and_ fun. He has a lot of love to give and any child would be lucky to have Spencer as a parent.

With a soft smile, Derek agrees, “Yes, he will.”

Aaron adds, “So will you.” Derek will be a wonderful father, different from Spencer but equally as dedicated and loving.

“Thanks, Aaron.”

Shrugging, he responds, “It’s the truth.”

With one last look, Derek waves Aaron toward the kitchen. “Penelope left us with a pile of food, help yourself.”

Aaron does just that, carefully chewing before he says, “I bet the people at Sugar Rush are wondering where you both disappeared to considering what Garcia brought over.”

Derek laughs, “I bet. It has been a while. They sent a card and visited Spencer in the hospital, even smuggled some sweets in. No doubt one of these days, Spencer will get a craving for a cupcake or three and I’ll be going over. Even with Pen’s delicious food, no one can replace Sugar Rush in Spencer’s mind. Or stomach.”

“With good reason. I promised Jack I’d take him there after we leave today.”

Chuckling, Derek challenges, “Just for him, right?”

Aaron glares, “Jack deserves a treat.”

“Of course he does. He is making Spencer happy. Any time he can be read to, Spencer is happy. However, I suspect you have ulterior motives for going to Sugar Rush.”

“I do not.”

Derek lifts a brow, “Don’t you?”

Aaron glares harder but Derek clearly isn’t intimidated. Growling softly, he admits grudgingly, “Fine. I need a cupcake fix, okay?”

Derek laughs.

“It’s all Spencer’s fault. He just _had_ to introduce me to the bakery. The place is addictive. I have half a mind to test their stuff to check for drugs,” Aaron grumbles.

“I will give you that. Spencer’s like a Sugar Rush cult recruiter,” Derek admits. “As for testing, that’s been done. Luc did it long ago. No drugs or any addictive substances. Just delicious ingredients.”

“Damn it,” Aaron curses. Now, he has to accept that he’s addicted to Sugar Rush for no other reason than the treats are delicious.

“Don’t worry, Aaron. Feed the addiction and you’ll be fine. Just don’t OD or anything. I do not want to get blamed for you getting fat.”

Aaron stares at him dead-eyed and drawls, “We wouldn’t want that on your conscious, now would we?”

“Self-control, Aaron. That’s the key and working out…a lot.” Derek pats his flat stomach. He doesn’t keep in shape by binging on cupcakes. _He_ has to exercise for his body, unlike Spencer who can eat junk food all day long and still remain a twig. “Not all of us are blessed with Spencer’s metabolism.”

“No shit.” He’s going to have to run five miles to burn off his cupcake. At least it will be worth it.

**CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM**

When Jack comes into the kitchen, Aaron and Derek are talking animatedly about hockey.

“Dad?”

Aaron pulls his attention away from Derek. “Yes?”

“Uncle Spencer’s sleeping. I think we should go and let him rest.”

“That’s a good idea, Jack.”

Derek pats Jack’s back, “Thank you for reading him to sleep, Buddy. Spencer really loves to be read to.”

Jack ducks his head to hide his smile. “Welcome.”

“Come on, Jack. I promised you Sugar Rush.”

Jack bounces happily but keeps his excited squeal inside to keep from waking Spencer. He hugs Uncle Derek extra tight. “Will you give Uncle Spencer a hug from me too?”

“Of course I will, Jack. An extra tight one,” Derek says with a wink.

“Thanks.” He turns to Aaron. “Okay, I’m ready.”

After making sure Jack is buckled up, Aaron asks, “Did you have fun with Uncle Spencer?”

“Yup. I read him right to sleep, just like you do when I’m sick.”

“That’s good, Jack. Spencer loves to be read to.”

Jack nods excitedly, “I know, he told me. His mom used to read to him too as a kid. Uncle Spencer said now he reads to her,” he pauses and looks up at Aaron, “because she’s sick, right?”

Aaron admits, “Yes, she is. She’s in a place that can help her get better.”

“Good.”

The rest of the trip Jack chatters, bouncing from subject to subject with the enthusiasm only a child has.

Entering Sugar Rush, they are inevitably greeted by name.

“Hi Aaron,” Jared welcomes before turning his eyes on little Jack. “Hey Buddy, how are you doing?”

“Hi Jared!” Jack likes Jared and Jamie; both are really nice and make awesome cookies and cupcakes. “I like your hair.”

“Thanks, Jack. It’s green like _slime_.”

“Cool!” Jack bounces in front of Aaron. “Can I get green hair like Jared?”

Aaron looks over at Jared critically. The man only looks back in amusement. Jared and Jamie both look more like punk rock stars than bakers. Like his wife, Jared has more than a few tattoos. He has pierced ears, a pierced lip, and a stud in his tongue. His faux-mohawk changes colors often. As surprising as it probably is for outsiders, Aaron likes Jared and Jamie very much. They are definitely opposites of him but both are good people and good friends. “Temporarily, if you earn it.” He has let Jack use the wash out hair dye before as a treat.

“Yay! Can I go to school with green hair?”

“If you want to,” Aaron promises. It won’t be the first time. Jack is confident enough to take any criticisms from his classmates without getting down. He’s an adventurous boy and Aaron wants to encourage that. “Why don’t you pick out the treat you want, okay?”

Jack rushes over to the counter and looks over his options.

“How is Spencer doing?”

Aaron can see the other worker at the counter is as interested in the answer as Jared. “He is healing. We just left their house. Jack read Spencer right to sleep. Spencer has been taking it easy, Derek makes sure of that.”

Jared and Aaron share a look of understanding. Jared knows how much Derek loves Spencer and imagines he’s been hovering over him since they left the hospital. “I miss seeing him around. I hope he continues to heal. Will you tell him we are thinking of him?”

“Of course, Jared.”

Jared grabs a box and suggests, “Why don’t I have someone bring him some treats?”

“I’d wait.”

Jared looks horrified, “No sweets?” Spencer has about the biggest sweet tooth he has ever seen and for a baker that’s pretty crazy.

“It isn’t that,” Aaron explains. “Penelope.”

“That little sneak! Beat us to him.” Jared shakes his head. “Fine, have Spencer or Derek let us know when they are ready for some treats. On the house.”

Aaron chuckles, “I’ll tell let them know.” Once Jack selects his treat, Aaron picks his as well. Neither can resist and eat them on the spot.

**CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM**

“Emily,” Spencer greets warmly.

“Spencer, it’s good to see you. How are you doing?”

Spencer shrugs, “As well as can be expected.”

“Well, you look good. I see Derek’s been taking good care of you.” The last time she saw him, Spencer looked like death warmed over.

Spencer smiles at Derek hovering in the background, and admits, “Of course he has. I could ask him for anything.”

Emily sits down and glances back at Derek. “I don’t doubt it.” Derek would give Spencer the moon and the stars if he asked. She hopes she finds someone that loves her half as much as Derek and Spencer love each other.

“Stop lurking back there, Der. Come sit down.”

As Derek moves to Spencer’s side, Emily teases, “Still hovering, I see.”

“He’s the worst,” Spencer complains, softening his words by lacing his fingers with Derek’s. “But I love him anyway.”

Derek rolls his eyes, knowing full well if _he_ was in Spencer’s position and Spencer in his, Pretty Boy would hover just as much.

“I brought books,” Emily offers, holding up a cloth bag heavy with books. “A few are even in English if you wanted to read them, Derek.”

Derek shakes his head, “I doubt any of those books are my level.” Spencer reads some genius level books and trying to read them only makes him feel like an idiot. He holds his hand up to stop Spencer’s reassurance. “I am not a genius like you, Baby. I know that. I also know I’m not stupid either.”

Spencer’s mouth snaps shut. “Well, as long as you know that.” He lays his head on Derek’s shoulder, declaring, “I happen to think you are brilliant.”

Derek chuckles, “I know you do. I’m still not reading any of those books.”

It warns her heart to watch the two interact. She is eternally thankful that Derek and Spencer still have each other. Waiting for news after Spencer’s surgery had been torture. Emily feared, as they all had, that if Spencer didn’t make it that Derek would do something drastic. They’d prepared to put Derek on suicide watch if the worst happened, not that she truly believed that would stop him. Emily’s shudder is near imperceptible; she could have lost two friends. She pushes that thought from her mind. Spencer is alive and that’s all that matters. “Trust me, Derek.” Emily takes out one of the books, “I’ve read this one and you do not need to be a genius like Spencer to enjoy it.”

Derek takes the book. He reads the back and it sounds interesting. “Thanks Em.”

“And the rest are for you, Spencer. A handful are in Russian. There is also some in German, Spanish, French, and Japanese, as well as one in Arabic.” Emily sets the book bag on the floor beside the couch.

Spencer beams happily. “Thank you, Emily.” He truly loves to read books in Russian. It brings back fond memories of his mother. Plus, it keeps his mind sharp and it hones his fluency in the various languages he knows or is learning. “I appreciate this immensely.”

“It was my pleasure.”

Spencer smiles and changes the subject. “Up for a lesson?”

“I sure am,” Emily answers.

They turn to Derek, who freezes under their attention. “No, no, no, no. Don’t even think about it.”

“If you don’t practice, you won’t get any better,” Spencer cautions.

“I don’t know why I ever let you talk me into this.”

Emily smirks, “I have a feeling Spencer used his…charm on you.”

“Yeah, he used his charm, all right,” Derek mutters. _*His naked, sexy charm.*_ Derek spends the next hour or so struggling to keep up with Spencer and Emily’s Spanish and then French. He’s getting better at least but languages do not come easily to him. Once Derek’s head starts to hurt, he’s had enough. He excuses himself and escapes to his shed to do some woodworking.

Emily and Spencer spend the rest of her visit speaking in various languages, both taking the opportunity to keep their skills fresh.

**CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have some ideas for the next chapter but it probably will be at least a couple of weeks before I start on it, unless my muse decides to get excited about it.


	4. Unbroken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My muse finally gave me an opportunity to write for this story. As you can see from the length, I took full advantage!

Spencer ambles into the kitchen to find Derek staring out the window blankly. “Derek?” When he doesn’t answer, Spencer calls him name again. But Derek is too lost in his thoughts to hear him.

Derek jolts when he feels someone touch him, relaxing almost instantly once he realizes it’s only Spencer. “Hey Pretty Boy.”

Concerned, Spencer questions, “Where were you just now?”

“Nowhere.”

Spencer rolls his eyes. “Derek.”

Why he foolishly thought Spencer would let it go, he doesn’t know. He should know better by now. “I was thinking about,” Derek’s eyes flick over to Spencer’s before going back to stare sightlessly out the window, “about Kryupt and what happened. What _could_ have happened.”

Spencer knew this was coming. It is something they needed to talk about but neither of them seemed to want to bring it up. He takes Der’s hand and guides him over to the hall closet, staring down at their boots pointedly. Derek takes the hint and tugs on his boots before helping Spencer into his. He shrugs on a jacket, holds Spencer’s out for him to slip into. With a fond smile, Derek puts the purple hat Penelope knitted Spencer over his tousled curls. “You’re adorable, Baby.”

Spencer grins at Derek’s fond smile. The look he gives him still makes his heart beat faster even after two years. Spencer imagines it will continue to do so when they’ve been together for twenty years. He grabs a blanket from the couch. “Come on.” Spencer takes Derek’s hand and together they stroll through the snow to the enclosed gazebo with Clooney trailing contently behind them. Spencer takes off his jacket with Derek’s help and settles onto the loveseat. Derek turns on the little heater and takes off his own jacket. He takes the blanket from Spencer, sitting down beside his love and spreading it over their laps. Spencer lays his head on his shoulder, breathing in the familiar scent of Derek.

Derek savors Spencer against him, using it to combat the remembered fear he’d felt when Spencer was shot. He takes Spencer’s hand, rubbing his thumb over his soft skin as a comfort.

“You ready to talk about it?”

Despite not wanting to talk about this, he relents. “I...” Derek starts. “I was thinking about how I felt while you were in surgery and I was waiting to hear news. I thought I knew how important you are to me, how much I love you. But until that moment I hadn’t truly known.” Not knowing if Spencer was going to live made Derek realize that Spencer is his air, the very breath he breathes. Without him, he’d have nothing. He’d be nothing. It shook him to his core. Derek never imagined that he could need and love someone as much as he does Spencer.

Spencer smiles against Derek’s shoulder. Pining after Derek for years had provided ample opportunities for Spencer to realize the depth of his love. He didn’t need to almost lose Derek to know. Spencer’s never loved anyone like he does Derek. He’d climbed over his walls, penetrating his armor, and embedded himself impossibly deep in Spencer’s heart.

Looking back, Derek’s surprised he hadn’t completely fallen apart. Derek remembers how he felt, overwhelmed and terrified, in a manner and depth he’d never felt before. All the emotions and dark thoughts and fears running through him had been all consuming. The realization that Spencer could die, that he’d have to live without him. Derek will never forget the feeling of absolute emptiness at the thought of a Spencer-less life. It still haunts him, in his dreams and in his thoughts. Until that moment, Derek hadn’t ever seriously considered eating his gun. But the thought of losing Spencer had taken him to that point and that scared him. It still does. Being that invested in someone else, especially with the inherent danger of their jobs, is terrifying.

Sensing the dark turn Derek’s thoughts are taking, Spencer lifts his head, calling Derek’s name. He smiles gently. “I’m fine, Derek. Whatever you thought then, it’s over.”

“It’s not though. I could have lost you. I still could. Do you realize how much that terrifies me? I don’t—I’m not strong enough to live without you,” Derek admits quietly, clutching Spencer’s hand with touch of desperation.

Spencer’s chest tightens and his stomach churns at the confession. “Derek, I—”

Derek regrets burdening Spencer with this. He should have kept his mouth shut. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”

Spencer interrupts, ordering firmly, “Look at me, Der.” With reluctance, Derek obeys and meets his eyes. “I understand, Love. I do.” Spencer thinks back to how he felt pretending that Kryupt had killed Derek. “Going to your funeral, even knowing that you were alive and in hiding, was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. It felt real. My mind knew the truth but my heart...” Spencer moves their joined hands over his heart. “In here, it felt _real_. My heart broke. As if the reason I’m alive was lying dead in that empty casket where your body was supposed to be. It felt like you were gone and I was alone again. I felt empty; my heart consumed with an emptiness that would never be filled again. Only when I hear your voice in my ear did it stop. I don’t ever want to feel that again.”

Derek thumbs the trailing tear from Spencer’s cheek, hating to see him cry.

“It felt like darkness, Derek. Dark and empty and hopeless.”

Derek crushes Spencer to him. “Oh, Baby. I know.” It is how he felt waiting to hear whether Spencer survived, overwhelmed completely by despair. His vision blurs with tears, remembering how it felt more clearly than he’d like.

“I don’t want you to feel that. I don’t want that for you. I would do anything to prevent it,” Spencer says. It hurts to know that Derek felt like he had. It hurts more to know Derek doesn’t think he can go on living should he die. He wants Derek to be happy, always, even if that means he finds someone else.

Maybe it is a bit fucked up but a part of Derek is glad Spencer understands and doesn’t judge him for feeling as he does.

“If—if I’m gone, I want you to be happy. E-Even if that means you find someone else.”

Derek heart jumps in his chest, his mind rebelling at the thought of loving anyone other than Spencer. “I can’t do that. Don’t ask me to do that.”

“Derek—”

The request feels like a betrayal, as painful as he imagines being stabbed in the heart would. It makes him furious. “No, don’t you _dare_ ask that of me. If I died, would you— _could_ you, find someone else?”

Spencer swallows thickly. “I—”

“Tell me the truth,” Derek demands harshly.

He shuts his eyes tightly, admitting in a whisper, “No. There will never be anyone else.” Spencer is self-aware enough to know that Derek has his whole heart and no one will ever be able to replace him. He doesn’t care how empty and lonely he feels. Spencer cannot love anyone else, he simply can’t. Not after finding love with Derek.

“Then don’t ask me to do what you can’t,” Derek snaps. “Like it’d be easy for me to find someone else.” The anger in his voice disappears abruptly, replaced by sorrow. “I can’t do it, Spencer, not even for you. Please don’t ask me to. I love you as much as you love me. Being without you will break me, don’t make it worse by forcing a promise that I can’t keep.”

Looking into his love’s teary eyes, Spencer touches Derek’s chest gently. “I’m sorry. It wasn’t fair of me to ask. I don’t doubt your love for me equals mine. And I don’t want to make things worse. I only want your happiness, even if that means someone else in your heart and your bed.”

Derek sighs, rubbing his face with his hand. “I know that. But I can’t. I can’t imagine being with anyone but you.” He wishes he didn’t have to think about this and he sure doesn’t want to talk about it either. Without Spencer, all is bleak and barren, his life and heart included.

“Can you live for me, Derek? For Mama and Desi, Sarah? For all our family.” Spencer won’t ask for anything else, won’t ask for Derek to be happy without him. But he doesn’t want them to lose Derek too. "Don’t make them lose us both, should the worst happen.”

Shuddering, Derek doesn’t want to make that promise. In the hospital and even now, he thought nothing of the pain it would cause his family. Deep down, he knows Spencer is right to think of their family. It would crush them to lose them both. Some of them would understand Derek’s reasoning but it wouldn’t make it any easier. “I’ll try. That’s all I can promise.” Derek refuses to lie to Spencer about this and promise something he is not sure he can keep.

“That’s all I can ask. I will be strong, if you promise to try to be strong too,” Spencer vows. Losing his dear love will always be his greatest fear and it seems it may very well be Derek’s too. Spencer would survive but he’d never know true happiness again. Not without his Der. As much as he understands Derek’s wish to join him in death, and it would be easy, a quick overdose and he’d be with Derek again, Spencer can’t bear to do that to his family and friends. He can’t let them lose them both, should the worst happened. He would live for them. And hope that one day, it won’t hurt so much, that he finds a bit of contentment. Derek, he’s not entirely sure about. He feels so deeply. Derek is a big softie underneath his big muscles. He has been nothing but absolutely dedicated, faithful, and loving to him since they began this relationship. They are soul mates, well, they would be if Spencer believed in the concept.

Derek allows the confident surety in Spencer’s eyes to fill him with strength. “I promise to try.” It’s the best he can offer. He doesn’t know if he can do it. He doesn’t know if he can live without Spencer, even for his family.

Spencer squeezes Derek’s hand, laying his head back down on his shoulder. The silence is comfortable, if not especially happy. The shadow of bleak doom, of death and loss, looms over them both.

They’ve both been silent for quite some time when Derek speaks up, admitting, “I’m glad he’s dead.”

It isn’t a question who he’s referring to. “I don’t regret how things turned out.” Perhaps that’s wrong but he cannot regret that both he and Derek are alive. “He wanted to kill me and you. He _tried_ to kill you. He gloated that he had.” Spencer will forever have to live with the memory of the fake funeral and how it felt to pretend Derek was dead. And he will always remember how Kryupt bragged as if he had done Spencer some great favor. He was truly delusional in believing that Spencer would jump into his arms after killing the love of his life. Spencer shudders at the thought of the lengths Kryupt would have gone to in order to cow him into submitting to his twisted love. He can’t be sorry that Kryupt didn’t have a chance to torture, assault, and likely murder him. “Maybe Barry Kryupt could have been helped if he had been captured alive but he took that option out of our hands when he attacked us. I can’t be sorry that we both made it out alive, even if that means he died.”

“He can’t hurt you anymore.” Nothing is more important to Derek than that. Spencer is safe again.

“He can’t hurt _us_ anymore,” Spencer corrects. He hurt them both and deep down, he’s relieved too. Maybe that’s wrong but it is how he feels. Kryupt tried to destroy everything good in his life, tried to taint his and Derek’s love, to stop it by killing Derek and when that didn’t work he tried to kill him to ensure Derek couldn’t have Spencer either. And for what? To have some sort of perverted love with him? Spencer shivers internally at what he’d have gone through if Kryupt got him into his clutches. Kryupt was mentally unstable and Spencer’s thankful he was spared being held captive by him. Spencer’s hard earned sobriety would’ve gone out the window if he’d been imprisoned by Kryupt. He’s relieved he didn’t have to go through that and that Derek didn’t have to either. Kryupt caused them both enough pain without adding physical, sexual, and psychological abuse of being held prisoner, thus causing a likely relapse.

Derek’s thoughts turn away from Kryupt. He can’t bear to swim in these dark waters any longer. Instead, he thinks of the future. Of the house he remodeled for them and the ring he hopes to put on Spencer’s finger soon. They will have their fresh start, the one they truly need right now. They need to prove to themselves that Kryupt failed. That everything he tried didn’t break them or the strength of their love. He may have tainted their home but not their love.

Thinking of their house, Spencer contemplates whether or not to bring it up with Derek. They both feel the taint Kryupt left behind in their home. His evil has destroyed their sanctuary despite both of them wishing otherwise. “Derek, about the house...” Spencer trails off, emotion causing the words to stick in his throat. He hates admitting the truth because it is crushing to lose this safe place. Spencer finally has a little insight into how Gideon felt when his cabin was invaded by Randall Garner. It had been Gideon’s sanctuary and Gardner had destroyed the safety it once represented.

Derek drags his thumb across his skin, savoring the sensation of Spencer’s pale, velvety skin under his fingertip. “I know.” He hates this, it leaves a sour taste in his mouth to admit to himself and to Spencer that Kryupt destroyed their home. But nothing can change how they feel. To be forced out, instead of leaving willingly, is hard to accept.

Saying it out loud feels like admitting that Kryupt’s won, maybe a small victory considering he’s dead but a victory all the same. “Our home. Two years, Derek. For two years, this was our sanctuary. Yours for even longer than that. It isn’t fair.”

“I know it isn’t, Pretty Boy.” Derek knows how much having a home, a sanctuary means to Spencer. Having to hospitalize his mother meant he lost the only home he ever had, chaotic though it had been. Afterward, he may have created a home by himself, surrounded by his precious books but he’d been alone. But when he came to live here, Spencer found a true home again. His Baby has been happy here and Derek hates that Kryupt destroyed that feeling of home for them both. “Look at me.”

Spencer lifts his head, sorrow clear in his caramel eyes.

“It doesn’t matter.” Derek stops him from interrupting with a finger pressed against Spencer’s mouth. He repeats with emphasis, “It. Does. Not. Matter. Home is wherever you are, Spencer.” Derek places a hand on Spencer’s heart. “My home is here and yours is here,” Derek vows, lightly thumping his fist against his own chest. Derek’s voice vibrates and his eyes burn intensely with emotion and love.

Spencer shudders, feeling it resonate within his heart and soul. _*Home.*_ He squeezes his eyes shut, something loosening inside him. _*Derek is my home and I am his. Always. No one and nothing can take that away from us.*_ Opening his eyes, Spencer smiles, knowing that losing the house doesn’t mean losing _home_.

Derek thinks of the ring he bought for Spencer, the one he hopes to put on Spencer’s finger soon. He smiles back at Spencer, imagining them wearing matching rings. They belong to each other and the rings will declare it to the world. Anticipation rises inside him, thinking of their future. Of the proposal and marriage. Of the house he remodeled for them that he prays Spencer will love, the library especially. Of the children they’ll have, in whatever manner they decide. Their future is bright and hopeful. Derek grins; not even Kryupt’s evil could kill that. Derek can leave this house without a heavy heart, knowing that their future is in each other and in the house he built specifically for them. “It’s only a house. Yes, we loved it here but we can find another one. All that matters is that we are together.”

Spencer smiles softly, questioning, “How do you always know what to say?”

Derek smiles gently. “I’m a profiler, Babe. It’s my job.”

Spencer chuckles. “That you are, Love, that you are.” He sighs, resigned to leaving this place he’s called home for years. Spencer isn’t looking forward to house shopping, although maybe with Derek’s skills, they’ll be able to find something special. “I guess we’ll have to start looking soon. Any of your properties something you could see us living in?”

Derek pretends to think; Spencer can’t know about the house yet. “Nothing that is ready. We have time, Baby. Enjoy the holidays, we will worry about it afterward, okay?”

Spencer lays his head back on Derek’s shoulder, determined to push it from his mind until after the holidays. Then they can figure it out together. “Okay.”

**CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM**

“Tell Derek he better be taking good care of you.”

Spencer smiles at his mother’s warning. He’s glad she’d warmed up to Derek faster than he expected but that may have had to do with the joy she saw in his eyes and the love obvious in Derek’s when she met him for the first time. “I’ll let him know. I love you, Mom.”

“I love you too, Spencer. Tell Derek the same.”

“I will. Take care, okay? I’ll check on you tomorrow.”

“Good, then I can check on you, too, young man. Don’t think I won’t resort to Derek if I suspect you are overdoing it.”

Spencer laughs. “I know. I’m being good and Derek is quick to stop me if I try to do otherwise.”

“I knew I liked him.”

He remembers how scared he was for Derek to meet his mom. To have her reject him would have been crushing. Thankfully, she seemed to know how much Derek means to him and gave him a real chance. “I sent you some new books to read. You should receive them soon.”

Diana smiles, always happy to receive new books. “Thank you, Son. I’ll let you know how I like them.”

“Ruth tells me you have an outing planned for tomorrow.”

“Yes, I am attending a lecture. I’ve been looking forward to it.”

Spencer can hear the excitement in Diana’s voice. He hopes she is able to make the lecture. She has been better in the past months but she still has her bad days. Spencer still holds guilt at having to commit his mother but the progress she’s made in recent years has dampened it some.

In the background, Spencer hears Ruth tell his mom it is time for lunch.

“I have to go, Spencer. Lunch time.”

“Okay, Mom. Good talking to you. Let me know how the lecture goes.”

“I will. Love you.”

“Love you.” Spencer smiles softly. It makes him happy to hear happiness in his mother’s voice. She has had a rough life and he cherishes every moment she has peace and joy.

Hanging up the phone, Spencer thinks back to when he talked to her about everything after his surgery.

_FLASHBACK_

_Spencer waits for the staff to confirm his mom is having a good day before he calls her. “Hi, Mom.”_

“ _Hi, Spencer.”_

“ _How are you feeling?”_

_Diana answers honestly, “Good. I finished that book you sent me. I couldn’t put it down. Erik had to take it away at bedtime or I wouldn’t have slept.”_

_Spencer smiles. “I’m glad you enjoyed it. Derek has had to do the same to me before. He isn’t above hiding a book in the safe and changing the combination to force me to sleep.”_

_Diana chuckles softly, picturing an exasperated Derek stealing Spencer’s book and locking it away for the night. She remembers William trying to get Spencer to go to sleep before finishing a book. It never worked, Spencer was too focused on hearing the story to think about sleeping._

_Spencer savors the sound of his mom’s laughter. Especially considering what he is about to tell her. He had spoken to the hospital staff before and they ensured that Diana didn’t see or read anything about Derek’s faked death and him getting shot._

“ _Now, tell me what has been happening. Have they caught that awful man yet?”_

_Spencer had told his mom about Kryupt, although he’d minimized the situation. He hadn’t wanted to worry her or needlessly stress her into an episode. “We found him. He was killed in the resulting confrontation.”_

“ _Was anyone else hurt?”_

“ _That’s what I wanted to tell you. The situation was more serious that I let on.”_

_Diana’s eyes narrow. “What does that mean, Spencer?”_

“ _Kryupt was very determined to capture me. He tried to kill Derek.”_

“ _He what?!”_

_Spencer reassures, “Derek is fine but we used the attack to set a trap for Kryupt. We made it look like Derek was killed. We ha-had a funeral and everything. It was...” he swallows heavily, “it was really hard.”_

_Diana shuts her eyes, her heart aching for her son. Derek Morgan has Spencer’s whole heart and going through a funeral, even one Spencer knows is fake had to be gut-wrenching. “I’m so sorry, Spencer. Please tell me you weren’t alone during it.” She understands why she wasn’t informed or asked to come to the funeral. Diana cannot predict her days and she wouldn’t have wanted to make the day harder for Spencer than it had to be._

“ _No,” Spencer pauses. He doesn’t want to hurt his mom’s feelings by telling her that Derek’s family was there but she wasn’t._

“ _Derek’s family was there, weren’t they? Fran?” Diana asks, her tone worried, completely absent of anger or disappointment._

“ _Yes. They were all there. Fran sat beside me, comforted me during the service.”_

_Diana sighs in relief. “Good.” She’s heard enough about Fran Morgan to know that she would do everything she could to comfort Spencer. Diana internally shudders. *Poor Fran. How difficult it must have been to attend her only son’s fake funeral.* She’s thankful Fran and Spencer had each other to lean on. “His faked death was part of the trap?” Diana is grateful that her mind isn’t shouting about conspiracies. It would only cause them both pain if she reacted poorly, despite knowing that she wouldn’t be able to control it._

“ _Yes. We made it look like I sneaked out of the house to visit Derek’s grave, alone. Kryupt followed me.”_

“ _But you weren’t alone,” Diana clarifies._

_Spencer confirms, “No. Derek came out of the darkness, shocked the heck out of Kryupt. He looked like he was seeing a ghost. He couldn’t believe it.”_

_Diana smiles, approving of the dramatic entrance, almost like a book._

“ _Kryupt wasn’t happy.”_

“ _I imagine not but you’re okay, right? Derek too?”_

_Spencer pauses briefly, “I’ll be okay. Derek’s uninjured.”_

“ _What do you mean you’ll be okay?” she asks suspiciously. “What happened?”_

_Spencer isn’t surprised his mom caught that. “He shot me, twice. I had to have surgery, part of my intestine was taken out.”_

_Diana gasps, shuddering at the thought of Spencer being shot and of him lying on an operating table._

“ _I am going to fine, Mom. The doctor said I’m doing as good as can be expected. Found no issues. I’ll even be able to go home fairly soon.”_

“ _Put Derek on the phone.”_

“ _Mom.”_

_Diana’s voice is unyielding. “Put. Derek. On. The. Phone. Now.”_

_Spencer looks over at Derek, motioning him. Derek’s eyes show his apprehension as he takes the offered phone. “Hello.”_

“ _Tell me the truth. Are Spencer’s injuries serious?” Whereas Spencer would try to protect her, like he has many times before, Diana has faith that Derek won’t lie about the seriousness of the injuries._

_Derek looks over at Spencer. “Like any surgery, the possibility for complications is present but he is being carefully monitored for infection. His progress has been good, the doctor is pleased. It will take him a while to fully heal but I don’t foresee any problems. Spencer should recover without any issues. He’ll recover. I’ll make sure.”_

_Diana lets out the breath she’s been holding in. “Thank goodness.” She can’t bear the thought of losing her son, the absolute light of her life. For a long time, he was all she had. “I’m trusting you to take care of him. Do not disappointment me.”_

“ _I understand. You can count on me, Mom. I promise, Spencer will be fine. I won’t accept any less.”_

“ _Thank you, Derek, for loving and taking care of my boy.”_

“ _Always.”_

_Diana smiles, she couldn’t have picked a better man for her son. Derek loves Spencer with everything he has and that is exactly what Spencer deserves. “Love you.”_

“ _Love you, too, Mom.” Derek hands the phone back to Spencer, smiling softly as Spencer exchanges I love you’s with his mom and promises to keep her updated on his progress._

_END OF FLASHBACK_

**CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM**

“Hi JJ.”

“Hi Spencer. How are you doing?”

“Better.”

“Not bored yet?”

Spencer shrugs, feeling a tinge of soreness at the movement. “I’ve been reading lots and with the visits and the phone calls, I haven’t been too bored. Derek is more bored than I am, I think. At least he’s been convinced to do some woodworking or remodeling every once in a while, otherwise he would be driving me crazy.”

“Good. I’m glad.” Jennifer smiles at Derek being forced away from Spencer. He’s an active guy, unlike Spencer who is pretty content as long as he has a book in hand. Derek needs the activity as much as Spencer needs his books, not that Spencer can’t get antsy himself when he’s without a walk for too long. Athletic, he may not be but Spencer loves to walk. The problem is trust, Derek is reluctant to leave Spencer’s side unless someone he trusts is there with Spencer. “It’s a miracle you got him away from you for a second.”

Laughing, Spencer admits, “I know.” Overprotective is a mild term for how Derek is feeling at the moment, although Spencer understands the reasons behind it.

“The team has been missing you and Derek.”

“We’ve missed you, too. Derek and I keep trying to get Aaron to send us some files but he isn’t budging.”

JJ smirks. “Aaron can be quite stubborn.” She happens to agree with Aaron; both Derek and Spencer needs a break from the job, at least for a little while.

“Don’t pretend you don’t agree with him, Jen.”

“I have no idea what you mean.”

Spencer rolls his eyes. “Sure you don’t.”

Jennifer snickers.

“How are Will and Henry?”

She smiles, looking over at her husband and son. “Will just solved a big case, which means he’s got a bit of time off. He’s happy to get to spend his days with our son, especially around the holidays. Henry, he is bouncing off the walls in excitement. We are taking him sledding shortly, help him burn off some of his excess energy.”

Spencer grins. Henry is an amazing five year old, biased though he may be.

“I wanna talk to Uncle Spencer!” Henry shouts in the background. JJ shakes her head but hands him the phone. He presses it to his ear, excitement clear in his voice. “Hi Uncle Spencer. We’re going sledding down a _big_ hill. Can you and Uncle Derek come? Please?”

Spencer wishes he could but Derek would kill him. He is pretty sure JJ would too. “I’m sorry, Henry, I can’t. Remember when you came to see me in the hospital? I am still getting better.”

“Oh.” The disappointment in his voice just about breaks the hearts of the adults listening.

He doesn’t offer that Derek can go, knowing Derek won’t go without him. “How about you have enough fun for all of us? Then you can tell me all about it,” Spencer offers.

Henry doesn’t even pause to think about it. “Okay. I will. Lots and lots of fun.”

Spencer grins. “Good.”

In the background, JJ says to Henry, “Why don’t you invite your uncles to supper and then when they come you can tell them both all about sledding?”

“Can you?” Henry jumps up and down. “Can you come for supper? You and Uncle Derek?”

Wanting to see JJ and her family, Spencer is quick to agree. “I’d like that.”

Henry squeals. “He said yes!”

Will quickly takes the phone away from Henry, not wanting Spencer to be deafened. “Hi Spencer.”

“Hi Will. Congrats on the case.”

Will shrugs, he isn’t the type to brag. He leaves that to his wife. “Thanks. About supper, how does six thirty sound?”

“Perfect. Do you need us to bring anything? We still have goodies from Penelope.”

“Sure, bring some. We’ll supply the rest.”

“Sounds good. See you then.”

Spencer pats Clooney’s head as he passes him on the way to the kitchen. Derek doesn’t turn around at the sound of Spencer’s socked feet and Clooney’s nails clicking softly on the kitchen tiles.

“Who was that on the phone?” Derek asks over the sound of the blender.

Spencer sits down at the breakfast bar, waiting patiently. “JJ.”

Derek fills two cups, putting a wide straw in one and handing it to Spencer, keeping the other one himself. Drinking a bit of smoothie, Derek wonders, “What did she have to say?”

Closing his eyes and humming at the cold liquid, the tartness of the raspberries and the sweetness of the mango. “Delicious as always, Der.” Spencer sucks up a bit more, savoring the mix of flavors. “She is doing well. The team misses us. Will and his partner recently solved an important case and Will is enjoying his days off. I got to talk to Henry too. He invited us to go sledding with him.” He holds up a finger before Derek can protest. “I reminded him that I was still healing and told him to have extra fun for me too. I suppose I could have offered to have you go along but I figured you would say no.”

“You are right about that.” As much as he loves Henry and Jack for that matter, his place is with Spencer until he is healed. Derek could call someone to stay with Spencer but he won’t. He knows how much Spencer would like to be going; if he was healthy, he would have had a blast sledding with Henry. Derek would feel guilty enjoying time with Henry, knowing that Spencer was at home wishing he could be there too. Spencer loves his godson to distraction. It’s beautiful to watch. Spencer will be an incredible dad someday. If he has his way, it won’t be too long before that happens. Derek wants children with Spencer. A family; a little boy or girl for them to love and raise.

“Then Henry invited us to supper, although JJ prompted him to. I accepted for us and told Henry he could tell us all about sledding at supper.” Spencer looks up from his smoothie to check Derek’s response to find him looking happy about the invite.

_*It will be good to see JJ and her family, for both of us.*_ Derek swallows another gulp of smoothie. “We need to bring anything?”

Spencer closes his eyes, slurping up another mouthful. “I said we’d bring some of Pen’s goodies. She gave us enough to feed an army.”

“Sounds good.” Derek ruffles Spencer’s hair affectionately.

Drinking the last of the lip smacking smoothie, Spencer stares mournfully at his empty cup. He perks up at the sight of the cup in Derek’s hand. Spencer turns his puppy eyes on him.

The skin on the back of his neck prickles at the feeling of being watched. Derek freezes as his eyes meet Spencer’s. _*Fuck.*_ He hates when Spencer turns those pathetic, pleading eyes on him; he can’t refuse his Baby anything when he looks at him like that. “What?”

Caramel eyes flick to the remaining smoothie in his glass and back to Derek’s face.

Derek sighs and hands it over without protest. “Here you go, Pretty Boy.”

Looking ridiculously happy, Spencer pops his straw into Derek’s offered glass and loudly sucks up the rest of the smoothie. Grinning widely, Spencer chirps, “Thanks, Der.”

“You are lucky I love you,” Derek says fondly.

“I know. You’re so good to me.”

Wrapping his arms around him, Derek rubs his cheek on Spencer’s soft hair. “You deserve it.” He loves the silky feeling of Spencer’s hair against his skin.

Spencer sinks contently into Derek’s embrace. “I love you.”

“I know you do, Baby, just as much as I love you.” He is more than secure in Spencer’s love. Coming home to Spencer and his steady love is what makes everything worth it. Derek squeezes him gently, then kisses his hair.

The sound of the doorbell ringing makes them turn toward the door.

Derek sighs, tipping Spencer’s head back to steal a kiss. Then he quickly rushes to the safe and retrieves his gun. Maybe an overly cautious move but considering recent events, not unjustified. Their new house will have one of Luc’s high end security systems. They’ll be secure as they can be there, much more so than here. Derek opens the door carefully, his pistol hidden by his leg, to find Mbizi and Keanu at the door. He’s surprised to spot Tito, another of Luc’s employees, hanging out by the street with his two huge mastiffs: Herc and Athena.

“Hey Derek. We came to get you two out of the house,” Mbizi greets, smiling at Derek’s posturing and the gun he is no doubt attempting to hide.

Derek flicks the safety back on and sets the gun on the table beside the door. “Mbizi, Keanu.” He offers Tito a slight head bob.

Mbizi looks around Derek to wave to Spencer. “How are you feeling, Beautiful?” Everyone dutifully ignores Derek’s grunt of disapproval at the endearment.

Spencer offers Mbizi a genuine smile and a wave. “I’m doing as well as can be expected.” He turns his attention to the large Hawaiian. “Hi Keanu.”

“Aloha.”

Spencer drapes an arm around Derek, resting his chin on his love’s shoulder. “What are you guys doing here?”

Keanu grins, “Beezee here is taking Derek running. Me and Tito and his mutts are taking you and Clooney for a nice, leisurely walk.

Spencer lights up at the chance to go outside, even for a short while. He isn’t used to being this inactive. Granted he isn’t the physical, outdoorsy type that Derek is but he is used to walking a lot. “That sounds wonderful. I’m not used to being this inactive.” Spencer ignores the looks from the three physically fit men, continuing unfazed, “I may not be the physical, obsessive exercising type like the rest of you, but I am at least used to doing a lot of walking and yoga.”

Derek nods his head; Spencer loves yoga and often is the one to walk Clooney, while he is the one to take Clooney for runs.

“We figured Mr. Overprotective here,” Keanu jabs a finger in Derek’s direction, “would be willing to leave his precious love in our custody if Spencer had two bodyguards and two guard dogs along for protection,” he explains with a smile.

Derek knows without looking that Spencer’s trying to stifle his giggles at the comment.

“Did it work?” Keanu asks, feigning innocence.

Resisting the urge to wipe that look off his face, Derek nods curtly. “Yeah, it worked. Just know if anything happens to Spencer, no one will ever find the bodies.”

Keanu nods sagely, accepting the threat for what it is and then smirks.

Addressing Mbizi, “Just let me change, I’ll be right back.” Derek grabs his gun from the table to put it back in the safe in their bedroom. Looking at Spencer’s clothes, he continues, “Come on, Love. Let’s get you into some warmer clothes.” With an arm around Spencer, Derek turns back to give Mbizi the evil eye. “No peaking.”

Mbizi holds his hands up, a harmless expression on his face. “Would I ever?”

Derek’s eyes narrow, not believing that look for a second. “I’m watching you.”

Mbizi smirks playfully, not responding further. He loves to tease Derek; it has become a little game they play.

Spencer offers Mbizi a wink over his shoulder, then as Derek ushers him to the bedroom, says, “Tell Tito to come on in, the dogs too. Make yourselves at home; we’ll be out shortly.”

Within minutes, Spencer is dressed in warm clothes and Derek in workout clothes. They find Tito and Keanu taking up the couch with the enormous mastiffs sprawled on the floor. Clooney isn’t paying any attention to the other dogs, instead he is looking at Mbizi with an adoring look.

“Trying to steal my dog now too?” Derek asks in a drawl.

Mbizi shrugs. “All I did was sit down and pet him a little.”

“He remembers you. Maybe he’s thanking you for protecting me,” Spencer offers. “Or maybe he just thinks you’re pretty.”

“Spencer,” Derek warns.

But Mbizi only laughs.

Smiling back at Derek cheekily, Spencer replies, “What? He _is_ pretty. Us pretty guys have to stick together.”

Derek glares at Mbizi, clearly blaming him completely, while the others laugh at him.

“I think that’s our cue to go outside,” Tito offers. “Herc, Athena, time to go.” The big mastiffs lumber to their feet and trail after their master obediently. Near the door, everyone puts on their shoes. Mbizi and Derek forgo jackets knowing they’ll be plenty warm once they start to run. Spencer pulls on a hat and mittens in addition to his coat because he tends to get cold. Clooney’s leash is snapped on by Derek and handed to Spencer. The group exits the house and Derek locks the door behind them.

“Ready, Derek?” Mbizi asks.

Derek eyes up the group protecting his love, two highly trained ex-military badasses and two highly trained guard dogs, not to mention an overprotective Clooney. Spencer will be safe in their custody. “Ready.” He pecks Spencer’s soft lips. “Enjoy your walk, Pretty Boy.”

“You too, Der. Try not to kill Mbizi in the process, yeah?”

Derek winks devilishly, then pecks Spencer’s lips again. Giving them one last look, Derek signals Mbizi and they set off in a brisk trot.

Tito signals his dogs as Spencer starts to walk. Athena and Herc start patrolling, keeping a watchful on everything around them. “Protective, isn’t he?” Tito comments, eyes on Derek’s retreating back.

Spencer smiles. “Yes, he is.” Derek’s protectiveness isn’t an issue for him, never has been if he’s telling the truth. His younger years were spent living in books and attempting to avoid bullies. No one cared enough to try to protect him. Most of his life, Spencer has had to protect himself and too often he failed. But with Derek around, he doesn’t have to worry about it because his safety is always Derek’s number one priority. Some people like being taken care of and some are caretakers. Derek is a caretaker, it makes him happy and Spencer enjoys being the recipient of his love and care. Derek’s possessiveness and protectiveness make him feel safe and loved.

Thinking of his ex-bodyguard and his interest in a certain bubbly tech, Spencer asks, “Has Mbizi asked Penelope out yet?”

Keanu grins widely, “Oh, yeah. Been on a couple of dates already. He’s really trying to wine and dine her.”

“He is clearly taking advantage of Derek’s preoccupation with you,” Tito adds with amusement.

“The team’s taking bets on how long before Derek finds out and whether or not Mbizi survives the resulting blowup.”

Spencer admits, “He’s not going to be happy. Derek is very protective over Penelope, especially considering how suave Mbizi can be.” He wonders if Derek is aware of the dates yet; he wouldn’t put it past him. “I doubt it will take long before he finds out, if doesn’t know already.”

Neither Tito nor Keanu would be surprised if Derek knew. A man as protective as Derek is has sources and spies. If he doesn’t know now, it’s only a matter of time.

Tito scans the area, finding nothing suspicious. Then he looks to his dogs. Both are alert but show no signs of sensing a possible threat. “Derek’s protective of pretty much everything he loves.”

Laughing, Spencer agrees, “He really is. With his dad gone, he takes his responsibility as the head of the Morgan family seriously. Desi has too many stories of him scaring off her boyfriends. Although I must admit, if they are scared by Derek, they wouldn’t survive long with Desiree anyway. She’d have eaten them alive sooner rather than later.”

Thinking of his bet, Keanu asks, “As someone that knows Derek well, how likely is he to kill Mbizi?”

“Depends on if he hurts her or not. I doubt Derek’s usual scare tactics are going to be effective on Mbizi and Penelope would be furious if Derek hurt him without cause. Now, if Mbizi hurts her, all bets are off. Mbizi may be difficult to take down but that wouldn’t stop Derek from trying,” Spencer explains.

Tito glances over, startled at the shark-like smile on Spencer’s face. Keanu sees it too and is as taken aback.

“If Mbizi hurts Penelope, Derek is the obvious threat. Mbizi will be expecting him to come after him. A fitting distraction for the true threat,” Spencer says darkly.

Keanu and Tito share an uneasy look. Neither is sure exactly who Spencer is referring to but whoever it is, Mbizi should be wary.

“Right,” Keanu says hesitantly.

Tito changes the subject quickly to something far lighter.

**CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM**

Derek and Mbizi enter the house sweaty but relaxed. They find Spencer, Tito, and Keanu at the table. Keanu is playing the dealer and judging from the candies in front of Spencer, he’s cleaning up. Tito’s pile is pitiful in comparison.

“Regretting it yet, Tito?”

Losing another hand, Tito admits with disgust, “Yes.”

“You do know he’s from Vegas, right?” Mbizi inquires.

Sighing, Tito says, “I know but not everyone from Vegas is good at blackjack.”

“He’s a genius, Tito.” Derek laughs. “He’s counting cards.”

“I am not, I’m just remembering them,” Spencer huffs. “It’s not cheating.”

Derek ruffles Spencer’s hair affectionately, disagreeing, “That’s not what the casinos think and you know it.”

“I have an eidetic memory, how am I supposed to suppress that? It’s impossible.”

Tito glares at Spencer. “You didn’t tell me you had an eidetic memory.”

Spencer grins. “You didn’t ask.”

Keanu laughs heartily, grateful he decided to be the dealer.

“Spencer _is_ banned from a few casinos in Vegas.”

Tito mumbles under his breath, “Only a few?”

“I learned to play smarter. Take a little at a time, no big pots that would get me noticed.” Spencer is grateful he had, otherwise he would never been able to afford his mother’s treatment. He shudders at the thought of the lackluster treatment center she would have been forced into. She may not have been happy about being committed at the beginning but it could have been much worse. They have always taken good care of Diana. He’s never had to worry about her being abused or mistreated.

“Good thing too,” Derek says with a smile, “considering the healthy bonuses you contributed to college funds for Henry and Jack. Not to mention ones for my nieces and nephews.”

Spencer shrugs, money doesn’t mean much to him. Education is important to him and if he can help with college, he is more than willing. Spencer ignores the looks the others are giving him, not wanting any attention for what he has done. “It’s not a big deal.”

Mbizi disagrees, “But it is, Spencer. Far too many would keep the money, hoarding their winnings and increasing their wealth. Not you though. You think nothing of the money, do you?”

“I have all I need.”

Derek takes Spencer’s face in his hands. “You are amazing.” Then he kisses him.

When the kiss breaks, Spencer wrinkles his nose teasingly. “You’re all sweaty. Don’t you think you should shower?” He doesn’t want to talk about his generosity anymore and is happy to change the subject.

Derek nuzzles Spencer’s neck, smearing sweat on him.

Spencer pushes his away playfully, pointing to the En Suite bath, “Shower.” His eyes flick to Mbizi, “You too. I’ll grab you some clothes to change into.”

Mbizi snaps to attention, giving Spencer a jaunty salute. “Yes, Sir.”

Spencer rolls his eyes as Mzibi makes his way to the guest bath. “Make yourselves at home, I’ll be right back,” Spencer says addressing Tito and Keanu. Spencer grabs some of his clothes for Mbizi. He knocks, opening the door tentatively and setting the clothing on the floor.

Walking back to the dining room, he hears Keanu ask Tito how training is going. Spencer sits down without comment, wondering what training he is referring to.

“Really good. I just got a new set this week.” Seeing the curiosity in Spencer’s eyes, Tito explains, “I rescue dogs from kill shelters and train them. When they are ready, I find them homes. Some get jobs, some get homes as pets.”

Spencer’s expression softens. “That’s wonderful.” Every dog deserves a loving home.

Tito shrugs modestly. “I get as much out of it as the dogs do. They aren’t at fault. I have the experience and patience to train the shyest or most traumatized dogs that shelters rarely do. Dogs only want to give love and somehow they can love a person that gives them nothing but pain. They are remarkable creatures.” He remembers the canine partner he lost during combat. Max was a rescue dog and the perfect partner. He was loyal to a fault and saved his life more times than he could count. The training and adoption started out as something to do in Max’s memory but now Tito does it because he loves it.

Spencer looks over at Clooney, lying between Athena and Herc. “They truly are, although I didn’t realize that until Clooney.” Looking up at the sound of his name from his master’s lips, Clooney wags his tail, making Spencer smile. “Dogs used to hate me, you know. The team said I was cursed. They’d go crazy around me; I still am unsure of why.”

“Dogs can sense emotion. Perhaps they picked up on your anxiety or fear and it made them react negatively. Dogs are sensitive,” Tito offers.

Spencer doubts he’ll ever know why those dogs reacted badly to him. It doesn’t matter anymore, Clooney’s acceptance and love has seemed to change how other dogs feel around him. Or maybe it is only that Clooney changed his mindset and thus his body language for interacting with other dogs.

Before anyone can say another word, Derek comes back looking fresh and clean. “Ready for lunch?” Derek waves off protests that they don’t have to feed them. “We have plenty. Mama prepared meals before she left.” He pops a casserole in the oven to be reheated.

Mzibi comes back, looking intense and attractive.

_*You are one lucky woman, Penelope.*_ Spencer thinks to himself. _*Good thing he has more than his looks going for him.*_ He has a feeling Pen and Mbizi will make a good match. Mbizi will treat her like the queen she is and she’ll bring much needed light into his life.

Lunch is a loud, companionable event. Tito, Derek, and Keanu are all boisterous, excitedly talking or yelling at each other. Mbizi and Spencer mostly observe, although they aren’t shy to add their thoughts either. And by the end of it, Spencer is wiped out.

“I’m going to go take a nap.” The other men get up, ready to leave but Spencer waves them off. “Have fun. It’ll be good for Derek.”

Derek eyes Spencer concerned. “Are you sure, Pretty Boy?”

Shaking his head, Spencer smiles. “I’m certain I can sleep without you, a hardship though it may be without my personal heating blanket.”

Derek smiles back fondly, kissing Spencer. “Okay. Enjoy your rest.”

“I will.” Spencer smiles at the three other men. “Thank you for coming over. I enjoyed it. Derek has too.”

“Our pleasure, Spencer,” Mbizi answers for the three of them. “We’ll have to do this again.”

Spencer grins. “Absolutely.” With a little wave, he disappears. Clooney isn’t about to be left behind and hurries after him. Surprisingly, without prompting Herc and Athena follow too.

Tito laughs. “Looks like he won’t be missing your heat after all. If you don’t want them in your bed, you better stop them quick.” Herc and Athena regularly sleep in bed with him, although they will lay on the floor if he directs them to.

Derek’s expression turns thoughtful, then he shrugs. It isn’t as if Clooney doesn’t sleep in their bed sometimes. “Spencer will be plenty warm and guarded. He never got to snuggle with pets as a kid. He’ll love it.”

In the bedroom, Spencer strips to his boxers and is about to put on thick sweatpants when Clooney comes in, followed by his new friends, Athena and Herc. Spencer raises his eyebrows in surprise, not by Clooney’s appearance but the mastiffs’. The three dogs look at the bed and Clooney immediately scrambles onto it. Tito’s dogs stare at the bed but stay where they are. Spencer has a tingling feeling that they are waiting for him to get into bed before they do. He opens his mouth to protest but immediately closes it and smiles. Spencer finds a lighter pair of sleep pants and tugs on a long sleeve t-shirt. Then he climbs into bed and gets comfortable. Settled, it isn’t a minute later before he feels the weight of the two heavy dogs join him on the bed. Clooney is sprawled on Derek’s pillow. One of the mastiffs plops down beside him, the heat of it against his back is pleasant. The other sprawls at his feet. Spencer smiles. He’s come a long way from when dogs used to hate him. He likes it; their presence around him is warm and comforting. Mere minutes later, Spencer falls asleep to the sound of snoring dogs.

While Spencer naps, Derek and three men move to the living room to relax.

“How is he really doing?” Mbizi asks.

Looking in the direction of the bedroom, Derek answers honestly, “As well as can be expected. Physically, he is doing well. He’s following the doctor’s instructions. Spencer’s sore but that isn’t unexpected; his body needs time to heal. He tires out less as time goes by but he still often naps. The visits have helped keep him occupied.” Derek smiles at the memory of Spencer’s face during visits. “He enjoys them, not only for the company and excitement, but also because it reminds him that he is loved.”

Keanu questions, “He doubts that? Your love for him couldn’t be more obvious.”

“It really couldn’t,” Mbizi adds dryly.

Derek rolls his eyes. “Not my love. I don’t let him doubt that. I meant the love his friends and family have for him. Spencer forgets sometimes that he’s not alone any longer. That his mother isn’t the only one that loves him. He spent too many years alone. Too many years feeling alienated, insecure, and unloved. It never hurts to remind him those days are over.”

Keanu tries to put himself in Spencer’s shoes and can’t. He grew up among his many brothers and sisters as well as more cousins than he could throw a stick at. He used to have to practically murder someone to get any alone time but looking back, Keanu realizes he was blessed to be surrounded by people who loved him despite any annoyance they caused him. Even now, he has siblings and family spread out all across the States. A plethora of places he can visit when he feels lonely. “It’s good he has you then.”

Derek meets Keanu gaze. “He made them love him all his own. I had nothing to do with it besides introducing him to my family. They love him because of who he is. Same with his friends. He’s so damned lovable.” Sometimes he wonders how no one could see that when Spencer was young. All others saw was a know-it-all genius kid or a weak nerd to be used or bullied. So many people missed out on experiencing the dedicated love Spencer offers freely to his friends and family.

Mbizi can’t disagree with him. “He certainly is.” Spencer had gone from an assignment to a friend with lightning speed. How he can be both incredibly complex _and_ simple is mind-boggling. Naive and worldly at the same time, Spencer is a mess of contradictions in one lovable package. “You are a lucky man.”

Smirking, Derek answers, “Oh, I know. Why do you think I keep a close eye on him? I don’t want anyone snatching him away from me.” He points an accusatory finger in Mbizi’s direction. “Which is why I’m watching you, Beezee. You being straight means nothing to me. Clearly, he can turn a straight man gay, so I’m not taking any chances.”

Mbizi grins back. “One of these days I’ll convince Spencer to run away with me.”

“And what’s your plan when Derek here catches up with you?” Tito challenges.

Mbizi says mysteriously, “There are a lot of places to hide in this world.”

“It’s hilarious that you think you’d be able to escape Mr. Possessive for long.” Keanu bursts into laughter with Tito joining in.

Derek, who has been silent until now, clears his throat and three sets of eyes snap to him. “Spencer would never leave me. Not for you or anyone. He’s loyal to a fault and would never betray me,” he says in a low, serious voice. It’s too soon. He could have lost Spencer and daring to joke about him willingly leaving Derek is impossible to swallow right now.

Tension fills the atmosphere as a reaction to Derek’s response to the jesting threat. Keanu and Tito keep silent, not wanting to worsen the situation.

“Of course he wouldn’t,” Mbizi immediately agrees, realizing that his joke has fallen flat. Perhaps it is too soon after Kryupt to joke about Spencer leaving Derek alone. “I’m sorry, Derek. Spencer would never leave you. Not for me or anyone.”

Derek releases the tension in his body. He’d almost lost Spencer and the mere thought of being without him, even for a joke, sends him to a dark place. That fear isn’t gone and probably won’t ever completely disappear either. He isn’t ready for jokes, although his talk with Spencer about his fears and feelings the other day helped. They still have healing to do but what matters is that they can do it together.

Mbizi catches Derek’s eyes, apologizing again for bringing up a sore sport inadvertently. Derek waves it off though. He’s aware that Mbizi meant no harm. Despite Mbizi’s teasingly flirting with Spencer, Derek knows Mbizi respects their relationship. Mbizi is a bit like him, a harmless flirt but not a home-wrecker, which is one of the reasons he hasn’t killed him yet.

The tension lifts, although a trickle of it remains in the air.

Derek stares deep into Mbizi’s eyes. “I know, you know.”

Not knowing what Derek is referring to, Mbizi raises an eyebrow in question.

“About Penelope. And the ‘secret’ dates you’d had with her. If you think I wouldn’t find out because I have been here with Spencer, you’re wrong.” Penelope is like his beloved sister; she’s been hurt enough and he isn’t about to let anyone, Mbizi included, to break her heart.

Mbizi will not deny the truth, not to Penelope’s pseudo-brother.

“If you hurt her, I’ll kill you.”

The threat is simple and to the point and Mbizi expects nothing less from Derek. He knows it isn’t an idle threat either. “I know. I don’t intend to hurt her. Penelope is an amazing woman and deserves to be treated as the queen she is. That’s what I intend to do,” Mbizi replies honestly. If he wasn’t serious, he would have left it to flirting. Penelope not only has Derek but also the other members of her team which are no doubt equally protective of her. Pen is a sweet lamb among a dangerous pack of wolves and her wolves will protect her from every threat with vicious determination. Mbizi wouldn’t have it any other way.

Derek nods sharply, glad that they understand each other. He feels as compelled to protect her sunshine as much as he does Spencer’s innocent soul. Pen and Spencer are two sides of a coin to Derek, his precious Baby Girl and his beloved Pretty Boy. Derek loves them both fervently. He’d die to protect them both and he would kill to protect their pure hearts.

Mbizi can’t take a relationship with Penelope lightly. She’s touched his heart since the moment he laid eyes on her. She is pure, living joy and exuberance. She shines brightly enough to chase away the shadows in his life. Penelope showers love over those around her and Mbizi is selfish enough to want some of that for himself. He wants to cherish her as she deserves. Mbizi understands why Derek is protective over her. Penelope is special. And imagining that inner light of hers to be smothered by pain and danger is akin to death itself.

Derek’s keen eyes see how serious this is to Mbizi. “I’m willing to trust her with you, at least for now. Do not make me regret it.”

Somberly, Mbizi accepts that, honored at the trust Derek is giving him. “I understand.”

The situation solved for now, Derek suggests a video game competition to the pass the time.

**CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM**

Spencer wakes over an hour later, all three dogs still crowding the bed. Lifting his head, he notices that both Herc and Athena are alert and awake. He has a feeling they’ve been keeping watch over him, despite the loud snoring; they _are_ trained guard dogs. Getting up, Spencer is relieved to feel rested. He didn’t want to have to cancel with JJ and her family tonight.

He dresses under watchful canine eyes. Spencer smiles to himself, amused that years ago he’d have been terrified in this situation. He probably would have laughed if anyone suggested it was possible. Spencer’s still surprised that his supposed curse with dogs and babies turned out to be false.

With his canine bodyguards at his side, Spencer finds the other men deep in a video game battle, complete with yelling and taunting. Mbizi is the first to notice his entrance, giving him a wink at the amusing show the others are providing.

Smirking back, Spencer clears his throat loudly. “Having fun, boys?”

Derek, Tito, and Keanu freeze, then their heads whip toward him.

“We didn’t wake you, did we, Love?” Derek asks, sounding guilty. The head shake he receives makes Derek sigh with relief.

Spencer wonders aloud, “What is it about video games that turns grown men into taunting children?”

“Hey!” Derek protests. Expression turning smug, Derek reminds, “I should ask you the same question, Spencer.”

Sniffing haughtily, Spencer retorts, “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Don’t you?” Derek taunts.

Keanu, Tito, and Mbizi’s heads ping pong between the two men, fascinating by their interplay.

Derek puts up three fingers. “Three words, Mass Effect series.”

Spencer’s eyes narrow dangerously, not ready to admit defeat.

“No response, Love? About how you cackle and taunt the screen?”

Spencer pouts. “I do not.”

Laughing, Derek shakes his head. “You really do. It’s adorable.” He deliberately pauses before stating, “Kai Leng.”

“He totally deserves that! He killed—” Spencer cuts off abruptly. “Oh my god, I’m totally one of them.” It’s not his fault that he feels urged to yell at Kai Leng for killing one of his squad or that having Shepard slam into opponents is ridiculously entertaining and makes him laugh a little madly.

Derek pulls him into a hug, patting his back soothingly while the others laugh at Spencer.

Into Derek’s neck, Spencer accuses, “This is all your fault, you know. I never played a video game in my life before you.”

“I know, Baby. It’s all my fault,” Derek admits, although the amusement in his tone doesn’t make Spencer feel any better about being right. Derek leads Spencer to the couch, encouraging him to lie against him.

Tito and Keanu go back to their game with Derek watching avidly. Spencer turns to Mbizi, who sits next to him. “Do you play?”

Mbizi looks at his friends in amusement. “No, not this type.”

“RPG?”

Curling his lips into a smile, Mbizi says, “World of Warcraft. Tried it yet?”

“No, I haven’t.”

“Do so with caution; it’s addictive.”

Keanu taunts, “Boom, splat!” before laughing outrageously at the bloody smear that used to be Tito’s character.

Tito groans and tosses the controller to Derek. “Pay him back for me, Derek.”

Knowing how into the game Derek can get, Spencer moves off him and scoots closer to Mbizi. Ignoring the others, Spencer asks him quietly, “How have the dates with Pen gone?”

“You know about that, huh?”

Spencer nods.

“Tito and Keanu?”

“Yes, although they only confirmed what I suspected.”

Mbizi glances over at Derek. “I think our dates have gone well thus far.”

“You mean without Derek hovering protectively in the background,” Spencer offers with a laugh.

Smiling, he admits, “That hasn’t hurt.” Dating someone with an overprotective family member watching their every move isn’t conducive to developing a relationship.

“Derek knows?”

“Yup.”

Spencer grins. “He threatened you again, didn’t he?”

Mbizi smiles. “Yup. I don’t know how he found out but he did. He wanted to make sure I explicitly understood what would happen if I hurt her.”

Spencer shakes his head. “You shouldn’t have tried to hide it at all. Derek has his sources. He doesn’t want her to get hurt again.”

“I know. I don’t intend to.”

“I know you don’t. Just don’t do anything unforgivable; I’d hate to have to cut your balls off,” Spencer threatens nonchalantly.

Mbizi gapes at his mild-mannered friend, unable to believe that Spencer threatened him. “You too?”

Spencer bares his teeth in a menacing smile. People never expect threats from him, especially strangers, and that merely makes his threats more powerful.

“How many men have you both scared away from Penelope?”

Shrugging, Spencer says, “Thinning the herd, getting rid of the weak. If the man isn’t strong enough to accept our threats and fight for her, then he doesn’t deserve her.” He nudges Mbizi’s shoulder. “You’ve endured thus far. Maybe you’ll make it far enough to earn her heart. I wish you luck.”

“Even if you won’t hesitate to cut off my balls if I step out of line,” Mbizi drawls sarcastically.

“Exactly,” Spencer admits with a smile.

No wonder a gem like Penelope Garcia is single with ‘brothers’ like Derek and Spencer around. Mbizi has a sinking feeling this isn’t the end of the threats either. He still has four more members and no doubt each will offer their own threats. Mbizi smiles to himself, thinking of his sweet Penelope. He’ll shoulder all the threats if he can be with her.

**CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM**

Standing at Jen and Will’s door, they ring the doorbell.

“They’re here! They’re here!” Henry shouts excitedly.

JJ opens the door and Henry flies into Derek’s legs, thankfully Spencer’s there to steady him. Jen shakes her head, thankful that at least Henry remembered not to do that to Spencer.

Derek hands Penelope’s treats to JJ and then picks Henry up, grinning at the enthusiastic hug he receives. “Hi Uncle Derek.”

“Hi Henry.”

Turning in Derek’s arms, Henry reaches over to hug Spencer too, although more carefully. “Hi Uncle Spencer.”

Spencer lights up with love for his godson. “Hello Henry.”

Derek marvels at the look on Spencer’s face. He wants to see Spencer look at _their_ children like that.

“Did you have fun sledding today?” Spencer asks.

Henry bounces in Derek’s secure hold. “Yes! I went with Daddy and with Mommy and even all three of us on one sled!”

“Wow,” Spencer exclaims, “sounds like lots of fun.”

“It was, wish you coulda come.”

Spencer agrees, “Me too, Henry.”

“Maybe next time Uncle Spencer will be well enough to come and watch, would you like that, Henry?” JJ asks.

Henry throws his hands up with joy carelessly, forcing Derek to adjust his hold to keep the excited tot in his grip. He turns to Derek, “Will you come too? Unca Spence can watch us sled down the hill.”

“As long as Spencer’s well enough, of course I will, Buddy.”

“Yay!”

Jennifer smiles at her son’s enthusiasm. “Why don’t you go wash up for supper?”

Henry pouts but doesn’t protest, knowing his mommy won’t budge on the matter. Derek sets him down, expecting him to run off immediately. “What about Uncle Derek and Uncle Spence? They need to wash too.”

Jen hides a smile at her sneaky little imp of a son.

“We sure do,” Derek says, winking at JJ.

Jennifer halts Henry from running off. “We have to let them take off their boots and coats, right?”

Henry eyes the dirty boots and coats his uncles still have on. “Okay.”

JJ takes their coats while Derek works on his boots.

Henry looks at Spencer, who isn’t making any motion to take off his boots. “Do you need help with your boots? I can untie ‘em!” he promises.

“Thank you, Henry.”

Henry settles on the floor, his little tongue sticking out in concentration as he works the knots loose. Getting one done, he moves to the other, his nimble little fingers loosing the other knot as well. “Look, Mommy, I helped!”

“Good job, Henry,” JJ praises.

Derek kneels down beside Henry while Jen stands next to Spencer to offer him support. Together, Henry and Derek tug off Spencer’s boots one at a time.

Henry giggles at the sight of Spencer’s brightly colored, mismatched socks. Spencer wiggles his toes, making him giggle harder.

Jennifer is a little afraid Henry will want to copy his favorite person and start wearing mismatched socks too. But thus far, Henry only giggles at them. “Time to wash up,” JJ reminds.

Henry sighs dramatically.

“Can you show your uncles the way to the bathroom and show them how to wash their hands?”

Henry perks up, feeling important. “Okay, Mommy.”

“Lead the way, little man,” Derek says.

Taking a hand of each of his uncles, he leads them to the bathroom. He shows them how to wash their hands so Mommy doesn’t get mad. Derek and Spencer dutifully follow his instructions.

When they finish, Henry leads them to the dining room. Supper turns out to be spaghetti and meatballs with homemade garlic bread.

Henry ends up splattered with sauce by the end of the meal but that’s not unexpected.

“Delicious as always, Will,” Derek praises.

Spencer agrees, “The bread is perfect, maybe you’ll share the recipe?”

“I’d be happy to, Spencer.”

Will gets up to wet a wash cloth, wiping off his son’s hands and face. Then he announces, “Bath time, Buddy.”

“Daddy. I don’t wanna. I wanna spend time with Uncle Derek and Spencer,” Henry whines.

Jen offers, “The sooner you are done, the sooner you can come back and play a little before bed. If you are good, maybe Spencer will read you a story.”

Not wanting to miss the opportunity for a Spencer story, Henry agrees immediately but has a request. “Can Uncle Derek come?”

Will asks him silently.

“Sure, I can.” The two men follow the skipping little boy.

In the bathroom, Derek offers to start the water while Will helps Henry undress.

“Fill it a little less than halfway, Derek. Don’t forget the bubble bath.”

Derek squirts in the bubbles, continuing to test the water to make sure it isn’t too hot for the tyke. “All ready.”

Will advises, “Might as well take off your shirt, it’ll be soaked by the end. Nothing of mine will fit you, I’m afraid.”

Derek shrugs and tugs off his shirt, seeing Will do the same.

Will tests the water quickly. “All right, Buddy, let’s get you in.”

First thing Henry does is dump his bath toys into the tub with him and start playing with them. Will hands Derek shampoo, while he lathers up a washcloth and starts scrubbing his son. Derek carefully washes Henry’s blond hair.

“Ready to wash this out, Henry?” Derek asks.

Henry continues making boat sounds, fully immersed in his imagination.

Will tickles his son, getting his attention. “Tilt your head. Uncle Derek is going to wash the shampoo from your hair.”

“Okay.” Henry tilts his head back. Derek grabs the little container and fills it with water. Then he tips it carefully over Henry’s head until all the shampoo is gone.

Derek is tossed Will’s wash cloth while Will grabs another. Together they wash an oblivious Henry.

“You’re a natural, Derek.”

Derek smiles at the compliment. “I’ve done this before. Lots of nieces and nephews. My older sister has a whole clan of kids herself. Probably why Mama doesn’t bug Desiree or me too much about more grandchildren.”

“Do you think you and Spencer will have kids?”

He doesn’t bother to give Will a disbelieving look. “You ask that like JJ hasn’t told you already.”

“Hearsay,” Will jokes.

Laughing, Derek shakes his head. “Spencer and I have talked about it seriously.”

“How you and Spencer are with Henry leaves no doubt in my mind that you’d both be great parents.”

“Thanks, Will. We appreciate that. It would mean big changes in our lives. With what happened with Kryupt, neither of us wants to wait too long. We are ready to start making the changes necessary.”

He and Jen didn’t exactly plan for Henry and it had been a struggle to work everything out. But Will doesn’t regret any of it. He got both Jen and Henry out of it and he’s more than happy with his life. Will nudges Derek with his shoulder. “If you need anything, let us know. We’re happy to help, even if it is just to talk it out.”

Derek smiles at him. “Thank you, we may be taking you up on that offer.”

“It’s the least we can do, you and Spencer have been great about letting JJ and I have date night.”

Derek waves that off. “It is our pleasure, I assure you. Spencer loves hanging out with this little guy,” he says, tickling Henry and making him laugh. “We have fun, don’t we, Henry?”

Giggling madly, Henry agrees. “Lots of fun!”

“Ready to get out?” Will asks.

Henry splashes and says, “Yup.”

Will grabs his squirming son, keeping a sure grip on him. He’s learned that if he doesn’t, Henry isn’t shy about running through the house buck naked. Will dries him off, tying the penguin robe shut with the sash. Taking him to his bedroom, Will asks, “Which pajamas do you want to wear tonight?”

“Buzz Lightyear!”

**CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM**

JJ starts cleaning the table, Spencer gets up to help but Jen pushes him back into his chair. “I’ve got it. Tell me, how are you really doing, Spence?”

“I’m healing.”

“Having nightmares?”

Spencer admits, “Derek and I both are. It was traumatic for each of us; it’s to be expected.”

“If you ever want to talk—”

“You are always available. I know,” Spencer says with a smile.

Jennifer starts putting the food away. Then she fills the dishwasher and starts it up. “Derek goes back after the holidays, right?”

“Yeah. We haven’t talked about it, not really, but I don’t think he wants to leave me alone. I doubt Aaron will let me come back then though.” Spencer shrugs. “I’m pretty sure I’ll be forced over to Josh and Luc’s when Derek goes back.” He sighs softly. “I imagine I’ll go along with it to make Derek feel more secure. He doesn’t need to worry about me while he’s on the job.”

Jen nods understandingly as she wipes the table clean. She wouldn’t be surprised, none of them would. Derek has reason to be overprotective and has always been extra protective when Spencer is hurt.

“All this downtime has given me a lot of time to think.”

JJ stops wiping, giving Spencer her full attention.

“You remember how I told you that Derek and I have talked about having children?”

“Of course.”

Spencer looks down, fiddling with his sleeve. “I think we are ready to start doing more than think about it.”

“Yeah? Have you talked to Derek about this?”

“Not yet. But I plan to soon.” He’s been thinking about this off and on since waking up in the hospital. “What happened with Kryupt made me realize that any day could be the end. Life and death are a delicate balance and none of us know when death will come for us. We can’t keep talking about someday; we have to start planning and doing.”

Jennifer lays a hand on Spencer’s. “Then start planning and doing, Spence. You and Derek will be incredible parents. You are amazing with Henry and with Jack.” She may not have planned Henry but she couldn’t be happier. She has an amazing husband and a wonderful son. Jen wants that for Spencer too.

“You know what this means, right?”

JJ squeezes his hand. “I know. We will miss whoever leaves, especially if you both do, but we’ll be happy for you as well. This is about your family and your future. We wouldn’t dare hold you back, no matter how much we want you and Derek to stay.”

Spencer smiles at her approval. He knows this is the moment in their lives for change. They already have to find a new house to make a home. Looking for a home that could be where they raise their children is a good starting point. Then they’ll have to start considering their jobs and which method to choose. “Thank you, JJ, that means a lot to me, to us.” Spencer hugs her genuinely. “I’ll talk to Derek.”

“Good.” It’s a bittersweet feeling for Jennifer, knowing that Spencer and Derek expanding their family will mean significant changes for them all. One or both of them will leave the team; it’s inevitable. She has Will home when she travels, just as Aaron is lucky enough to have Jessica. Derek and Spencer are both on the team. They wouldn’t expect their child to be raised by someone else, whether it be family or friend while they are away. They are wired differently than Aaron and her. The job is important but she knows it doesn’t define them like it does her and Aaron. Yet, JJ is absolutely thrilled for Spencer. He deserves to have a family, as does Derek.

The kitchen cleaned up, Spencer and JJ head out to the living room.

“How is the team doing?”

“It’s quiet without you and Derek,” JJ admits. “Plus, Emily can’t pawn her paperwork off on you. Her whining is relentless. I’ve been thinking of breaking into Derek’s office to hide from it.”

Spencer snickers; Emily doesn’t whine much but when she does, she does it epically. “Sorry. I’d help out but no doubt Aaron or Derek would find out and then be furious with me. Maybe Derek will give you his key to use until he gets back.”

Jen perks up at that thought.

A freshly washed Henry runs into the room wearing Buzz Lightyear pajamas. “Play with me, Spence,” Henry chirps excitedly.

With care, Spencer sinks his lanky form into one of the child-sized chairs. Henry grabs several action figures, shoving one at Spencer, and taking a seat across from his uncle. “You be Donatello and I’ll be Batman.”

Derek sits down in the chair between Henry and Spencer, taking the figure Henry offers.

“You can be Doctor Octopus.”

Derek wiggles the figure at Spencer. “Look who gets to play the genius doctor now.”

Unimpressed, Spencer replies, “He’s the bad guy, though.” He turns to Henry, “And we’re going to catch him, right?”

“Right, like Mommy and Daddy catch the bad guys.” He chatters enthusiastically, drawing both of his uncles into his imaginative world.

Long before Henry wants to quit, Will states it is time for bed. Only the promise of a story from Spencer gets Henry in bed.

Spencer settles beside Henry on the tiny bed. He lists off some books he’s memorized and lets Henry choose which he wants to hear. Then he begins the story.

Henry closes his eyes, although he listens intently to his uncle. He giggles softly at the different voices Spencer uses.

Will, JJ, and Derek watch from the doorway, each smiling fondly at the joy of Spencer’s face and the smile on Henry’s as he sinks into sleep.

When he’s sure that Henry is asleep, Spencer leans over to kiss his forehead and whispers goodnight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Approaching the end of this story, maybe one or two chapters left, unless my muse decides otherwise. Next, I’m working on A Blutbad Claims His Mate, as well as Secrets and JAMOT with Gia.


	5. No Rules Against Touching

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not what I had planned for the chapter but Spencer pouted and I relented. Enjoy.

The morning of the Christmas party Spencer wakes to Derek pressing gentle kisses to his neck. “Mmm, Derek.” He can feel the smile against his skin.

“Morning, Pretty Boy.” Derek wets Spencer’s skin with his tongue, humming contently at the taste. He laps at the skin behind his ear, then nips and tugs gently on his earlobe. Derek whispers into his ear, “You taste so good.”

Stretching carefully as to avoid pulling at his wound, Spencer smirks, “Do I now?”

“Always. And knowing that no one else gets to taste you makes you more delicious.”

“Possessive, aren’t you?”

Derek grins wickedly. “Of you? Always.”

Spencer’s smirk matches his. “Lucky for you I like it.”

“Very, very lucky,” Derek promises before capturing Spencer’s tempting lips. Their kisses are lazy but filled with passion. They don’t break apart until they run out of air. Derek stares down at Spencer, his fingers automatically diving into his soft locks. “I love you.”

Grabbing the back of Derek’s muscular neck, Spencer tugs him down for another kiss or five. “And I love you.”

A whine distracts them and they turn to see Clooney resting his chin on the corner of the bed looking pathetic. They laugh at the expression on his little face. “We love you too, Clooney,” Derek promises.

He wags his tail happily.

Derek sighs. “I guess we better get up. Feed this monster,” he teases, petting Clooney’s head.

“I’ll shower while you feed him then.”

“Only if you promise to wait for me.”

Spencer smiles. “I’ll leave my hair for you, okay?”

Derek grins, “Perfect.” He turns to his dog. “Let’s go, Mutt, breakfast time.”

Spencer watches Derek and Clooney trot away, both looking happy, although for different reasons. He still doesn’t quite understand Derek’s fascination with his hair but he isn’t about to deny him. With a little bounce in his step, Spencer pads naked to the bathroom. He washes his body carefully, taking his time. It feels marvelous to be clean. Spencer hears the bathroom door open and a naked Derek soon climbs into the shower.

Derek leers at Spencer’s nude body, taking in his fill. “My sexy, sexy Pretty Boy.”

Laughing, Spencer answers, “Yes, Der?”

“When you are sufficiently healed up, I’m going to devour you,” Derek promises, lust clear in his voice.

“Trust me, Babe. We are going to devour each other. Not leaving the bed for at least a couple of days.”

Derek groans, his mind filled with images of a writhing, aroused Spencer. “Fuck. I can’t wait.” He wants to bury himself into Spencer’s heat and claim him completely. To thumb his nose at that dead bastard and to reconnect with Spencer.

Spencer bites his lip, trying to suppress a whimper. His ass clenches at the thought of Derek inside of him. “Let’s not wait,” he says breathlessly, reaching out for Derek’s cock.

Derek avoids him smoothly, regret on his face. “No. Not until the doctor says it is okay. You were shot, Spencer. Had to have surgery. We can’t take this lightly, no matter how much we want each other. Please don’t test my resolve.”

Spencer licks his lips, staring down at Derek’s hardening cock, before huffing. “Fine, no fucking.” He wants Derek but resigns himself to following the doctor’s advice. Spencer realizes that if he injures himself having sex with Derek too soon, then it will be an even longer wait.

“Thank you, Love.” Derek gives him a kiss.

Spencer smiles slyly. “No rules against touching, though.”

“Spencer,” Derek warns.

He pays Derek no mind, reaching for the soap and lathering it up. Spencer turns Derek around and slowly starts to wash his body. Derek closes his eyes and sighs, savoring the feeling of Spencer’s hands on his bare skin. Spencer glides his hands down Derek’s back and over his plump cheeks.

Derek sighs at the gentle but firm touch.

Spencer then reaches around him to wash his chest and stomach.

“God, Pretty Boy. That feels so good.”

Spencer hums agreeably. Hungry for Derek’s skin, his hands roam zealously over his chest and stomach. “It’s been too long since I touched you like this.” His fingers trace over the ridges of Derek’s abs.

Derek moans, reaching behind him to pull Spencer flush against his back.

With one hand resting on Derek’s stomach, Spencer glides the other down his hip.

Derek spreads his legs, silently inviting Spencer to touch him. He tips his head back to rest on Spencer’s shoulder. Derek bites his lips as the touch gets teasingly closer to where he wants it most. “Please, Baby.”

“Please what, Der?” Spencer whispers into his ear.

Derek shivers at the hot breath caressing his skin. “Please, touch me.”

Spencer’s voice deepens as he promises, “My pleasure.” He sucks on Derek’s earlobe and slowly starts to stroke his cock. Spencer wants more than anything to feel the hot length push inside him, filling him like nothing else can. To feel it pulse hot and wet, marking his insides with cum. As soon as the doctor gives the okay, Derek’s going to fuck him hard and fast. But until then, Spencer is going to find pleasure in Derek’s naked skin against his. He moans, his hips lightly grinding against Derek’s ass. His hand strokes Derek faster.

Derek grunts in pleasure with Spencer pressed slick and snug against his back, his cock sliding between his cheeks, and his slim hand wrapped around his dick. Derek grabs a handful of Spencer’s ass and starts rocking his hips, thrusting into Spencer’s fist and gently pushing back into Spencer. “Fuck, Baby. Yes, yes.”

Spencer tightens his grip, enjoying the slick slide of Derek’s cock in his hand. He kisses Derek’s neck, sucking a mark behind his ear. “You gonna cum for me, Love?”

“Close,” Derek pants out.

“I want to feel you pulse in my hand. Feel you cum all over my hand.” Spencer sucks another mark behind Derek’s ear. “I want to taste you, lick every drop of your cum off my fingers.”

Derek moans, “Spencer.” His hips jerk gracelessly until he pulses in Spencer’s hand.

Spencer milks Derek’s cock of every drop. Then he brings his hand up to his mouth but Derek grabs his wrist. Derek reluctantly releases his hold on Spencer’s ass cheek and turns around. Staring into passion-filled caramel eyes, Derek brings Spencer’s hand to his lips and sucks his thumb clean. Spencer whimpers at the sight, unable to look away as Derek sucks a second finger into his mouth. The sweet, gentle suction makes his cock jump and he moans Derek’s name. Spencer watches as he slowly pulls his finger out of Derek’s mouth. It’s almost enough to make him cum right there. Spencer licks his palm clean, his eyes locked with Derek’s. Then he holds his hand level with his mouth between them. Derek flashes a grin and together they lick and suck Spencer’s hand and fingers clean. Derek grabs the back of Spencer’s neck and tugs him forward into a wet, dirty kiss, the two of them sharing cum between them.

Derek mumbles against Spencer’s lips, “Want me to take care of this for you, Baby?” His hand closes around Spencer’s cock.

“God yes.”

Derek pecks his lips then turns off the water. “Come on, Pretty Boy.” He dries Spencer thoroughly and himself haphazardly, then pulls him into the bedroom and settles him on the bed. “You just lay back and let me do all the work. Don’t want you to strain your healing wounds.”

Spencer stares at Derek with heavy-lidded eyes. “I think I can do that.”

Derek settles between Spencer’s legs, his hands going under Spencer to cup and lift his ass. He takes Spencer’s cock into his mouth.

Spencer reaches down to grab Derek’s head but Derek pulls back.

“Nuh-uh. If you can’t be still…” Derek makes a move to get up.

Wanting this intimacy with Derek too much, Spencer quickly replies, “I can. I promise. Please, Derek. I need you.”

“Good.” Derek gets back in position, teasing the tip before sinking down.

Spencer bites his lip hard, fighting the urge to thrust into Derek’s sweet mouth.

Derek pulls back to take a breath. “Fuck, I missed this. Missed you. Taste so fucking good.” He massages Spencer’s balls and drags his tongue up Spencer’s cock.

“Oh, Derek.” He’s missed this, not just the sex but feeling close to Derek. Spencer pants softly. Derek looks up at him as he swallows his cock whole. Spencer moans, the sight of his cock moving in and out of Derek’s mouth and the sensation of it pushes him closer and closer.

Derek sucks harder, recognizing that Spencer is close. He takes his cock deep into his throat before backing off and sucking hard.

Spencer clutches the bedding tight, his hips jerking slightly as he fills Derek’s mouth.

Derek swallows it down with relish and humming.

Spencer stares at the ceiling, feeling boneless. He hears and feels Derek crawl up the bed next to him. Derek curls around him, stroking his chest lightly. Spencer turns his head and meets Derek for a kiss. “Love you.”

“Love you, too, Pretty Boy.” Derek’s fingers tangle in Spencer’s hair. He realizes he forgot all about washing Spencer’s hair. He trades sweet kisses with Spencer while he recovers. “About ready to finish our shower? I still need to wash your hair.”

Spencer smiles and nods. He wouldn’t dare deny Derek the simple pleasure. He accepts Derek’s hand and he helps him off the bed. They walk back into the bathroom and turn on the water, stepping inside.

Derek squirts shampoo into his hand. He watches as Spencer dips his head back and wets his hair, then opens his eyes and turns his back to Derek. He loves the intimacy of washing Spencer’s hair. Derek plunges his hands into Spencer’s silky hair and builds up a lather. His fingers massage Spencer’s scalp with tenderness and care, ensuring the shampoo coats every strand of hair.

Spencer closes his eyes and sighs contently, enjoying this almost as much as Derek does.

Derek turns Spencer, moving him under the spray and washes the shampoo out of his hair with care. He leans forward and nibbles on Spencer’s lips while his fingers move through the cleaned hair.

He whimpers as Derek’s lips leave his and his hard body eases away. It feels good to have Derek’s slick, naked body against his. Spencer lets himself be manhandled back into position and relaxes as Derek works the conditioner into his hair. He shivers at the delightful feeling, not minding one bit at the overly long length of time Derek’s fingers massage conditioner into his hair. At last, Spencer is turned and the conditioner washed from his brown locks. This time, he opens his eyes to slits and initiates the kiss, kissing Derek slow and sensually. Spencer swallows Derek’s moan, knowing that the dual sensations drive Derek crazy.

Derek pulls away with regret. “We’d better start getting ready.” He can’t resist pecking Spencer’s lips twice more. Spencer turns off the water and steps out. Derek towels himself off quickly, then turns his attention to Spencer. He dries him more carefully, being especially gentle with the healing wounds. Derek doesn’t resist the urge to pepper sweet kisses over Spencer’s freshly washed skin. “Beautiful.”

Any insecurities about his appeal to Derek has vanished. Derek made sure of that, forever telling him how beautiful and sexy he is. Kryupt’s attempt to break them up had also forced Spencer to confront his fears. Spencer knows now that to Derek, he is the most beautiful creature in all the world. It is a heady feeling.

Derek tenderly towels dry Spencer’s hair. Then he takes out a comb and drags it through his hair, gentle when he encounters snags. Hair brushed, Derek smiles and kisses him again. He grabs the hair dryer and turns it on. Derek dries and styles Spencer’s hair. It doesn’t matter to him how ridiculous it is that doing so makes him happy. He’s secure in his obsession with Spencer’s hair and well, with all things Spencer. As long as Spencer doesn’t mind, Derek is free to indulge. He grins, ruffling Spencer’s hair fondly. “All done, Pretty Boy.”

Spencer kisses Derek in thanks, not bothering to look at his hair in the mirror. He doesn’t much care what his hair looks like; if Derek is happy and his hair doesn’t distract him, Spencer is content.

They dress in comfortable but warm clothing. Derek grabs the leftover goodies Penelope dropped off from the freezer while Spencer slips on comfy shoes and snaps Clooney’s leash on. Then they are out the door. It will be good to see their friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be longer. I have several things planned for the Christmas party.


	6. The Party

Emily opens the door at their knock. “Spencer,” she says with a smile. “You’re looking better than the last time I saw you. Derek must be taking good care of you.” Emily turns to Derek. “Keeping him out of trouble, Derek?”

“Doing my best.”

Spencer rolls his eyes. “I am right here. Besides, what kind of trouble could I get into when I barely leave the house?”

Derek and Emily exchange a look that says it all. “Plenty, Pretty Boy.”

“You are a trouble magnet, Spencer.”

Crossing his arms carefully over his chest, Spencer denies, “I am not.”

Emily pats his arm condescendingly. “Of course you aren’t, Sweetie.”

Spencer glares at her while Derek laughs. “I dare you to find one person that would say otherwise,” Derek challenges. “Just one.” Arms still crossed, Spencer pouts, knowing it’s probably an impossible task and they all know it. Derek hands Emily the leftover goodies of Penelope’s and takes off his outerwear. Then he helps Spencer out of his.

Emily squats down and pets Clooney’s wiggling body. “Hi, Clooney. Why don’t you go find your buddy, huh?” She unsnaps his leash and Clooney’s off like a shot, looking for Dave’s dog, Bella, an English Springer Spaniel. Boots off, she checks out the colorful socks Spencer’s chosen to wear for Christmas. He’s the only person she knows that wears mismatched socks on purpose. “Nice socks, Spencer,” Emily teases. “Very festive.”

He looks down to admire his candy-cane striped sock and his green and brown gingerbread covered sock. Spencer says dryly, “I have a pair just like them at home.”

Laughing, Emily shakes her head. “I bet you do.” Realizing she doesn’t know why he doesn’t wear matched socks, she asks, “Why do you wear different socks? I’ve never asked before but I have wondered why from time to time. You’re not the superstitious type; you must have a reason.”

While everyone knows that he doesn’t wear matching socks, few have asked him why. Derek knows as do JJ and Penelope but no one else on the team. Spencer smiles, thinking fondly of the memories that led to his mismatched socks. “My mom made up this game when I was little. An academic knowledge game where we would ask each other questions and with each correct answer, we’d put on a piece of clothing from the box. It was filled with wild clothing that was brightly colored or had crazy patterns or both. By the end of the game, we’d be covered from head to toe in clashing clothing. It was a silly game but it made her laugh every time. It was our game. My...father never played with us. He didn’t understand why we enjoyed it as much as we did. He wanted me to be ‘normal’ and play baseball.”

Derek rubs Spencer’s back comfortingly. His relationship with his father is nonexistent even today. Spencer can’t ever forget that his father left him and his mom when they needed him most. William abandoned them, went off to have another family, who he stayed with. It’s a hurt that has never fully healed.

Emily’s eyes soften with sympathy, realizing what a touchy issue Spencer’s father is for him. Spencer couldn’t be the son William wanted, just as it seems that William believed he couldn’t be the father Spencer needed him to be.

Spencer looks down and wiggles his toes. “Then my father left and I had to take care of my mom alone. The silly game was the last thing on my mind as the effects of her illness grew stronger. The fun of the game soon became just a memory until one day when I was shopping for clothes and spotted a bunch of loud patterned socks. It reminded me of the game and something urged me to buy a few. When I got home, I picked out the two most obnoxious patterns and put one of each on. It made me smile at a time when I had little to smile about. I hoped they would make her smile too. And when she saw them, she did smile; I could see a spark in her eyes I hadn’t seen in a long time.” He meets Emily’s eyes, smiling at the memory. “She remembered the game too. I’ve been wearing mismatched socks ever since. It always makes me think of her and remember the good times we had together. Most times, she still remembers the game when she sees my socks.”

Emily is surprised by the depth of meaning in two mismatched socks. She smiles at Spencer and can’t resist giving him a hug. “You’re one of a kind, Spencer.”

“I know,” Spencer admits simply. In the past, he’s felt alone and isolated in knowing he was different than everyone else. Yet, he not only learned to accept his uniqueness but to use it to his advantage. Spencer smiles to himself. _*I caught Derek, didn’t I?*_ Derek gives him a questioning look but Spencer simply flashes him a grin.   

Emily waves them further into the house. “Come on in. Dave and the others are whipping up a feast.”

“Are we the first to arrive? After you, of course,” Derek asks.

Emily shakes her head. “Nope. Penelope’s here. With a _date_.”

“Mbizi, we know.”

Her eyebrows rise in surprise. “You do, do you?”

“Why is everyone surprised by that?” Derek asks Spencer, who shrugs. “I’ve been with Spencer, not on the moon. I’m not completely out of the loop. Pen is my Baby Girl; she can’t hide boyfriends from me.”

“And the fact that Mbizi practically attempted to devour her alive with his eyes when they first met has nothing to do with how you know,” Spencer adds dryly.

Derek shrugs. “That didn’t hurt.”

“Threatened him yet?” Emily asks.

“Of course he has,” Spencer answers.

Derek smiles innocently. “Plus, I have my secret weapon.”

“And what’s that?”

His smile widens. “Spencer, naturally.”

Emily looks at Spencer critically. “He’s your secret weapon?”

Derek takes Spencer’s chin in his hand, showing his face from different angles. “Look at this face. So innocent looking. So naive. So utterly harmless.” He pecks Spencer’s lips. “No one sees him coming. Such a devious mind with such an innocent face. The perfect disguise.”

Spencer smiles innocently, looking exactly as Derek described, totally harmless and naive.

Emily’s mind flashes back to the plan Spencer came up with to reveal his and Derek’s relationship and the other surprisingly devious plans Spencer has enacted over the years. Spencer truly is a secret weapon. It’s been proved in numerous cases. Constantly underestimated, their resident genius. Derek’s right, no one ever sees him coming, perhaps not even someone as knowledgeable as Mbizi.

They find Penelope, Dave, and Evelyn moving around the kitchen with purpose. At the breakfast bar, Mbizi is sipping his tea, watching them work.

Before they are noticed by the busy kitchen bees and Mbizi, Emily whispers knowingly, “I forgot to mention, Evelyn was already here when I arrived.”

“Way to go, Dave,” Derek cheers softly. Spencer rolls his eyes at the comment.

Mbizi turns when they enter the kitchen. He lifts his cup and greets, “Morning Spencer. Morning Derek.”

“Good morning, Mbizi.”

Derek nods to him in greeting, saying his name stoically.

Mbizi looks amused but not surprised by Derek’s deliberate unfriendliness. Derek’s overprotectiveness is quite predictable.

Spencer and Derek greet the others too. Penelope rushes over and gives them both a happy squeeze before going back to work. Derek catches the fond expression on Mbizi’s face as he looks at her. He looks back at Penelope; she looks happy. Deciding to let up a little, Derek relaxes.

“Anything I can help with?”

Dave shakes his head. “Nope. We’ve got it handled, Spencer. It’ll be a long day. Why don’t the four of you relax in the living room?”

Clearly being dismissed, they leave. Mbizi pecks Penelope’s cheek chastely, making her flush with pleasure.

The four of them plop down on the comfy couches.

Emily’s eyes Mbizi critically, a look he’s getting used to concerning the BAU agents. “Just say it.”

“If you hurt her…”

He doesn’t flinch, staring into her hard eyes. “I have no intention of hurting her. She’s special and better than I deserve. I won’t throw that away.”

Emily accepts his words with a nod.

“Who wants to bet on Mbizi being threatened by the remaining members of the team today?” Spencer inquires. The room is silent at his blunt question. Feeling eyes on him, Spencer shrugs. “What? We’re all thinking it.”

Mbizi grins at him. “Well, I’ve already been threatened by you and Derek. Emily and Dave. I guess that leaves JJ and Aaron. Might as well get them all out of the way today. It’s no wonder Penelope was single with her team threatening all her boyfriends.”

Spencer pats Mbizi’s shoulder. “Not all of them, only the ones that have the potential to hurt her. She likes you and not just because you’re hot.”

Derek shakes his eyes and says exasperatedly, “Spencer.”

“What? It’s the truth.”

The other two laugh as Derek scolds, “Doesn’t mean you should say it out loud, Baby. Plus, you should only have eyes for me.”

Spencer rolls his eyes. “Really? You’re going to talk to me about saying sexually inappropriate things? Mr. I used to flirt with everything with a pulse? Let’s not forget the way you and Penelope talk to each other over the phone. _At work._ ”

“Hey. Unfair. That’s all in the past. I was young and sexually frustrated.”

“Oh, please. You were a slut before me, Der.”

Taking offense, Derek denies vehemently, “I was not.”

Emily gives Derek a look. “You kind of were. How many people have you slept with in your life?”

Derek’s mouth tightens and he refuses to answer.  

“Now that we’ve established Derek was a slut.” Spencer holds up a hand to stop Derek’s protests. “You corrupted me, now you have to deal with it.”

Emily nods unsympathetically. “He’s right, you know. It is your fault. You unleashed the beast.”

“Besides, you like the beast in me,” Spencer teases. _*Or maybe you just like to be the beast_ **_in_ ** _me.*_

The wickedness in Spencer’s caramel eyes tells Derek exactly what his little minx is thinking. _*At least he didn’t say it out loud.*_ Derek grins back at him. “I do.” He leans close and whispers for his ears only, “But more than that, I love the wanton creature you turn into when I fuck you.”

“Do we need to leave you two alone?” Emily jokes.

They answer at the same time.

“Yes, please.”

“No.”

Derek looks at Spencer, warningly. “No, we don’t. Spencer’s still healing.” He deliberately forgets about the little incident from this morning.

“Really?” Surprise colors her expression and she turns to Mbizi. “This might be the first and only get together where Spencer and Derek don’t get caught making out at some point.”

Derek’s mouth tightens. He can’t deny the truth in her words. Derek digs his fingers in Spencer’s hair, playing with the soft wavy strands. _*If he wasn’t so sexy, I would be able to resist him.*_ This party, he’s going to remain strong. No matter how much he will want to kiss away Spencer’s adorable pout or how hot it makes him when Spencer eats something sweet and unashamedly moans. _*I can do this.*_ Derek gulps when Spencer puts his hand rather high on his thigh. Sex this morning has done nothing to whet his minx’s sexual appetite; it has only made his hunger increase. Pulling his thoughts away from Spencer, Derek addresses Emily, “You’re just jealous.”

Emily’s gaze flicks down to Spencer’s hand and back to Derek’s face. “Oh, I can fully admit that I am. If I had a relationship with half the passion you two have together, I’d consider myself blessed.”

Spencer and Derek look at each other, grinning. “Thanks, Em. That’s sweet.”

Emily smiles wanly. Her gaze sharpens at the change in Spencer’s expression. Everyone on the team can recognize that expression. They’ve all learned to fear having it turned in their direction. “No. Whatever you’re thinking. Just no.”

“What?” Spencer blinks innocently. She doesn’t need to know he plans on setting her up. Emily deserves to find someone special.

“I want no part of whatever you are plotting.”

“But—”

“No,” Emily states firmly.

Spencer pouts.

 _*Not the pout.*_ It gets him every time. Derek tightens his hold on Spencer’s hair, trying to obliterate the urge to kiss that cute pout from his lips. Needing a distraction, he tells her, “You’ll find someone, Em. I didn’t think I’d find anyone either.”

“Dating probably would’ve helped. Instead of just jumping into bed with people,” Spencer teases with a laugh.

Derek tugs on Spencer’s hair. “I dated.” At Spencer’s pointed look, he adds, “Some.”

Completely ignoring their responses, Emily points out, “If you want to get technical. You didn’t find Spencer. He found you.”

Derek resists the urge to roll his eyes. “You’ll find someone or they will find you. Better?”

“Yup,” Emily agrees cheekily.

“Don’t give up. Look at Dave, he’s never given up.”

Emily doesn’t look comforted by Dave’s example.

Spencer gives Derek a pitying look for choosing Dave. “Dave, really? Come on, Derek. You’re trying to give her hope here, not dread.”

Looking sheepish, Derek defends himself. “Well, he has never given up on finding love.”

“While that is true, he’s also been married and divorced three times. Perhaps not the best example, hmm?”

Before Derek can shoot back with a comeback, Mbizi interjects, “What kind of person are you looking for?”

Suspicious of his motives, Emily silently scrutinizes him.

Mbizi shrugs lightly. “If you don’t want to answer, you don’t have to. We can continue to listen to those two,” he points at Spencer and Derek, “bicker because Derek’s trying to be strong today and not get caught—”

“For once,” Emily mutters with significant emphasis.

Mbizi finishes smoothly, “Making out with Spencer.”

Watching the pair, Emily laughs at their expressions. Spencer is smug while Derek is trying his hardest not to grimace at being completely transparent. “While that is an entertaining thought, I suppose I can indulge you. I’m a nerd,” she admits with a shrug. “Not like Spencer because who is? But still a nerd.”

“No one is like Spencer,” Mbizi says.

“You know I am right here and can hear you.”

Mbizi grins. “We know.”

Willing to drop it, Spencer prompts, “You were going to tell us what kind of person you are looking for.” He does his best to keep an interested but not scheming expression on his face. Spencer loves Emily and wants her to be happy. A woman as wonderful as she is shouldn’t spend her downtime alone. Spencer has an idea of who Emily is looking for but hearing it from her own lips can’t hurt his chances of finding someone for his friend.

Again suspicious of Spencer’s interest, Emily considers not answering but decides she doesn’t have anything to lose. “Someone intelligent, someone I can talk to, hold an intelligent conversation with. Open-minded. I’ve lived all over the world, been exposed to many different cultures. I can’t abide someone who is close-minded and unwilling to learn about people and cultures different from their own. It’s easy to accept stereotypes and to hate. It takes a strong person, a good person, to be able to challenge the stereotypes and hate you have been exposed to.”

The others nod their heads. Each of them has seen prejudice and racism in their lives, through work and life. Some have experienced it first hand. They can understand how important it is for Emily to date someone without stubborn, destructive prejudices.

“You’re bisexual?” he asks without fuss.

Emily quirks an eyebrow at Mbizi’s statement-like question.

He smiles. “You never indicated him or her. You said someone or a person.”

“Yes, I am.” Emily isn’t shy or ashamed of her preferences. “I’ve dated both men and women.”

Soon after Spencer and Derek came out as a couple, the whole team had a party to celebrate. They are always looking for a nice excuse to get together and Spencer and Derek finding love with each other was a perfect one. Helped with loads of alcohol, they had a frank discussion about their own personal sexual preferences and experiences. They found out a lot about each other. They learned Emily discovered her attraction to women during her time at an all girls school in high school and considers herself firmly bisexual. That Penelope experimented with women during college and is indiscriminate in terms of her partner’s genders and identifies as pansexual like Spencer. JJ revealed she’d kissed a few girls but never went any further and likely never will. Most surprisingly, Dave admitted to a friends with benefits type relationship with another soldier during his years in combat. His break in his heterosexuality was more situational than anything else. Derek, at least prior to Spencer, and Aaron were the only ones that hadn’t experimented or had a relationship with the same sex in their pasts.

* _Although after the incident, I suspect Aaron won’t stay a gay virgin forever,_ * Spencer supposes.

Emily sighs, remembering her previous failed relationships. “I’m a headstrong person. I can’t deal with someone exactly like me. Too much fighting and drama.”

“Alpha personality.”

Smiling at Spencer’s muttering, Mbizi states, “There’s a few of you like that on the team. Work with quite a few of them myself.”

“Law enforcement, security, and military are filled with them. Agents and perps alike. That’s why I don’t want to date one. I get enough of them at work.”

Derek jokes, “That mean I shouldn’t try to hook you and Hotch up?”

Emily glares at him. “Hell no.”

“Why not? Kill two birds with one stone.”

“Even if I did think that way about Aaron, which I don’t,” Emily denies emphatically, “we’d be disastrous together.” She shudders at the thought. Two uptight law enforcement, alpha people together won’t work, at least not the pair of them. They’d be fighting for control the entire time. She wouldn’t be willing to bend and she doesn’t think Hotch is likely to either, especially not with her. One of them would end up dead.

Spencer dismisses the topic of Aaron for the moment. “We’ll get to Aaron later. If anyone needs to get laid, it’s that man.” Plus, he has an idea of what Aaron needs and it isn’t another woman. It’s a man to call his very own. _*A younger man that will keep Aaron young...and extremely satisfied.*_

“Now _that_ , we can all agree on.”

Derek covers his eyes. “I do not want to think about Hotch and sex.”

Mbizi smirks. “Should help you keep your hands off Spencer then.”

“Not sure that’s possible,” Emily adds sardonically. Then she smiles. “Maybe we should talk more about Hotch’s sex life.”

Derek scowls and pounces on Emily, roughhousing with her like she’s one of his sisters. Emily shoves and slaps back at him. Spencer and Mbizi watch on with amusement at the sibling-like scuffling.

With the two distracted, Mbizi moves beside Spencer on the couch. “You’re planning to set her up.”

Spencer glances over at the still grappling Derek and Emily. “Seeing what we see, we all need someone to come home to. Em needs that. Sergio isn’t enough.”

“Sergio?”

“Her cat. A pet is better than coming home to an empty house but Emily is the only one without a person in her life. Even if Aaron isn’t dating anyone, he has Jack. Besides, I’ll work on him later.”

Mbizi nods. “Coming home to an empty house after a tough mission is difficult.”

“I always had books to keep me company. My whole life, they were my friends and my family. After a bad case, I let myself get lost in their stories.” Spencer’s expression softens as he looks at Derek, who is talking and laughing quietly with Emily now instead of fighting. “But seeing Derek after a hard day is better than any book I could ever read. I want that for Emily. And for Aaron.”

Mbizi smiles, thinking of Penelope. They may have only begun but her sweet face lights up his life.

“You children done fighting?” Spencer asks, one brow lifted.

Grinning, Derek ruffles Emily’s hair roughly, much to her displeasure. Emily shoves away from him. “Don’t you have enough sisters, Derek?”

“Nope. A man can never have too many sisters. Or brothers. Family is meant to grow.”

The sound of Henry’s excited voice breaks the moment and he comes barrelling into the room. “Merry Christmas!”

He stops short at the sight of Mbizi and tilts his head curiously. “Who are you?”

Will is a step behind his son. He kneels down to Henry’s level. Both Henry and Mbizi had been at the funeral but Henry likely hadn’t noticed the man, not amongst all the other strangers and other children around. “Remember when we had Mr. McGregor stay at our house to protect us?”

Henry nods excitedly and bounces. “He was fun. He played Legos with me.”

“Remember he went to work with Mommy?”

“He protected Mommy.”

Will smiles and nods. “He did. This is the man that protected Uncle Spencer.”

Eyes wide, Henry stares up at Mbizi in awe. “You ‘tected Unca Spencer?”

Mbizi glances to Spencer. “I sure did. My name is Mbizi.”

“Meebee—” Henry scrunches his face in thought. “Zoo?”

“Close. Let’s make it easy, just call me Bee, little buddy.”

Henry grins. “Okay, Bee!” Knowing who the stranger is, he dismisses him from his mind and turns his attention to his two favorite people. “Hi, Unca Spencer.” Henry quivers in front of Spencer. As if remembering his parents’ warnings, he carefully hugs Spencer despite clearly wanting to leap into his arms. Then he bounds over to Derek. “Hi, Unca Derek.” Henry launches himself into his lap and wiggles to get comfortable. Content at being with one of his favorite people, he relaxes.

Spencer melts at the sight. * _Derek will be such a great dad one day._ * He imagines Derek cradling their child and realizes how much he wants to see it happen for real.

“Are you feeling better?” Henry asks, worry in his young eyes.

Smiling reassuring, Spencer answers, “I’m feeling much better.” It warms his heart to see the relief in Henry’s eyes. Some days, he still can’t believe that Henry loves him and considers him one of his favorites. Life has changed exponentially for him in the past few years and Spencer is eternally grateful.

Derek tickles Henry, making him giggle wildly and squirm on Derek’s lap.

“Uncle Derek,” he protests in between giggles.

Derek grins but stops tickling him. “Are you excited for presents?”

“Yes!”

“The simple joy of a child on Christmas,” comments Emily.

From his perch on Derek’s lap, Henry looks at her and chirps hello.

“Hey, Henry. Are you having a good Christmas?”

“Yup. Grandma and Mamie are coming tomorrow,” he says with excitement, glancing at his dad.

Will smiles fondly. Their mothers both adore Henry, their fathers would have too if they were still alive.

Henry suddenly pops off Derek’s lap and goes rushing toward the door, shouting Jack’s name. He comes back, nearly running circles around Jack, followed by Aaron.

Greetings are quickly traded. Henry tugs Jack over to the backpack sitting at Will’s feet, yanking it open and spilling toys onto the carpet. Jack settles down next to him. The two kids get lost in their own little world, paying no attention to the adults talking.

Spencer looks up to find Josh standing in the doorway. “Hey, Josh. Merry Christmas.”

“Hey, Spencer. Hey all.” Josh squeezes between his two friends. “Hey, Bee. Glad to see big bro, Derek, hasn’t killed you yet.”

Derek glowers at Josh then sends a warning glare to Mbizi.

Mbizi’s lips twitch at the look.

Josh rolls his eyes. “You are such a caveman.”

Derek attempts to set Josh on fire with his eyes. In his peripheral vision, he spots Spencer and softens. “Spencer loves my caveman side.” He meets his love’s eyes. “Don’t you, Pretty Boy?”

Spencer combs his fingers through his own hair, bringing Derek’s attention to the part of him he is most possessive of, at least in public. They share an intense look, remembering this morning vividly. The shower. The sex. The intimacy. Derek discreetly grazes the mark Spencer sucked behind his ear this morning with his fingertips. Both men can be possessive and that’s the way they like it. “You know I do.”

“I think we all know you do,” Josh mutters. A friendly nudge from Spencer makes him smile.

Emily snorts and Aaron grumbles, “I wish I didn’t.”

Knowing exactly what Aaron is referring to, Spencer feels his cock twitch and ass ache at the memory. His ass has never ached as deliciously as it did that morning. And a bonus was Aaron’s reaction. He got off on it; Aaron may have suppressed it most of his life but after hearing what he did, he’ll have a hard time continuing to do so. He’s going to have to face he isn’t as strictly heterosexual as he thought. That alone made the embarrassment and teasing he endured after he finally came out of his satisfied haze worth it.

The lightest of color brushes Aaron’s cheeks and he avoids meeting Spencer’s knowing eyes. Luckily for him, Penelope comes bouncing into the room in her eternally cheerful way. “Food is ready.”

**CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM**

After eating, Jack and Henry need to burn off their excess energy. The kids easily convince Derek and Josh to go outside to play. While walking out, Jack is practically bursting with excitement as he talks about his new friend at school. Spencer watches the group from the window, Bella and Clooney barking and running around the kids, all four of them. A bittersweet smile with a trace of longing touches his lips.

Everything that happened with Barry Kryupt forced Spencer to think about their future. Kryupt tested their relationship. Hard. * _But we won in the end. We stuck together through it all and are stronger for it._ *

Outside the window, Derek is having the time of his life. He adores kids and it shows; he’s a natural with them.

Emotion chokes Spencer watching it, his mind imagining Derek playing with their own child like he is Henry and Jack. He wants that. He is ready to stop thinking about it and start working toward making it happen.

Sensing a presence beside him, Spencer tries to wipe the emotion from his face. His companion doesn’t speak, watching the activity outside. He relaxes as the familiar spicy cologne wafts through the air. The silence is comfortable and easy between them.

“I recognize that look.”

Glancing over at his companion for the first time, Spencer wonders, “What look?”

“That look of longing and uncertainty when you watch Derek interact with children.”

Spencer closes his eyes briefly. * _Do I have the courage to talk about this out loud?_ *

“I had the same look on my face once.”

Spencer’s eyes snap over. “You did?”

“Yes.” Emotion softened eyes meet Spencer’s. “We both wanted children but we hadn’t talked about it. Foolish, perhaps, but we didn’t.”

Spencer smiles at the unexpectedness of the confession. “I’m surprised at you, Aaron.”

He chuckles. He can admit it isn’t like him, organized, some say anally so, as he tends to be. “Like most relationships, communication wasn’t always easy between us.” A bittersweet smile forms on his lips. He deliberately turns away from the sad memories. “I was ready to have a child with Haley but I put off telling her until one day I blurted it out.”

Spencer almost does a double-take at the thought of Aaron blurting out anything. He’s a methodical man and almost never gets flustered. “How did she take it?” Clearly, she and Aaron did have a child; it couldn’t have gone too badly.

“She laughed.” Aaron sobers reliving the memory. “I was afraid she’d say she didn’t want children with me. Then she explained that she’d been having the same thoughts and hadn’t figured how to talk to me about it.”

Seeing what Aaron is saying, Spencer nods. He knows he has to talk to Derek. He wants children, not only because Derek will be a great father but because he wants it, too.

“Talk to him, Spencer. Tell him how you feel.”

Spencer watches Derek laughing as he throws Henry in the air. “I will.” Life has no guarantees; he can’t allow his desires to remain unvoiced. Big change is coming for him and Derek. Unsure how to voice what he wants to say, he shoots Aaron a hesitant look.

The emotion in Aaron’s look is complex. Understanding, happiness, and a touch of sadness all rolled together. “I want you and Derek to be happy.”

Sagging in relief, Spencer is surprised by tears of gratefulness prickling his eyes. “Thank you, Aaron.” It means the world to him that Aaron puts their happiness above the job. Spencer doesn’t want to leave the BAU and he doesn’t think Derek does either. Yet, having a child is a huge endeavor and decisions will have to be made with the child’s happiness, growth, and well-being in mind.

Watching Derek, Spencer is struck by a bout of insecurity. He feels Aaron’s eyes on him as his teeth worry his lip anxiously. “Do you,” Spencer gulps, gathering his courage, “do you think I’d be a good father?” He chances a peek at Aaron and notices the softness in his usually stern eyes.

“I do.”

The simple, confident answer surprises Spencer. “Really?”

“Yes.”

“But my father—”

Aaron stops him immediately. “You are nothing like your father, Spencer. Just like I am nothing like mine.”

“Were you ever scared of becoming like him?” Aaron’s childhood is mostly a mystery to the team. Dave probably knows the most, all the rest of them know is his father was an abusive drunk.

Eyes on Jack, Aaron takes a moment to answer. “Yes.”

Spencer looks between Aaron and Jack. Father and son have been through a lot together, especially with Haley’s murder. Yet, Jack is a normal, happy child and that is because of Aaron.

“I never told her.” His gaze never leaves Jack.

“Haley?”

“Yeah.” Aaron is silent for a moment. “I should have. I didn’t want to burden her with my doubts and fears. I thought I had to be invulnerable for her.”

Spencer stills, the full impact of Aaron’s intense gaze hitting him.

“Don’t make my mistake. You don’t have to go it alone. Derek is there for you and will listen without judgment.”

Thinking of his father, Spencer knows Aaron is right. He needs to talk to Derek about what he is feeling. All of it. The desire for children and his fears and doubts. * _Derek will be strong when I am weak._ * Spencer suspects, although he’d never say it out loud, that is where Aaron’s marriage fell apart. Aaron couldn’t trust Haley to support him at his weakest. “I’ll talk to him.”

“Good.”

“I hope you know you are a great dad.”

Aaron stares at his son.

“You are.”

“I hope so,” Aaron says quietly.

**CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM**

Sipping his drink, Lucas stands next to Will and scans him openly.

Unintimidated despite the differences in their physiques and capability for violence, Will scrutinizes Lucas right back. He doesn’t know Lucas or Josh well, mostly what Jen and Sean McGregor told him.

Will did a background check on Lucas and his crew, especially McGregor, as soon as Jen brought him home. As much as he trusted Derek and Spencer’s word, he needed to do his own research if he was going to trust McGregor with his family’s safety. Plus, he needed to know LM Security was up to the job of protecting the whole team. Thankfully, LM Security checked out. A successful company with an impeccable reputation, although Will suspected there is more to them than the public knows. Nonetheless, they did keep all of them safe from Barry Kryupt. Lucas’s team is one of the reasons the team made it out alive.

He knows Lucas is an ex-SEAL, both intelligent and deadly, and runs LM Security. Lucas also is clearly devoted to his husband, Josh and the pair are close friends of Spencer and Derek.

Amusement sparkles in Luc’s eyes as he asks, “How is work going, Will?”

Suspicion tingles in his mind, Will doesn’t know what but senses Lucas is up to something. “Fine. And you?”

Taking another drink, Lucas replies, “Good.”

Will nods, thinking that will be the end of it.

“Spencer has told me about your work. You were quite the asset to New Orleans and now DC.”

Never one to brag, Will shrugs elegantly. He shifts the focus back to Lucas. “I asked around about your company.”

Lucas doesn’t appear surprised by that.

“Word is it’s the best in the business.” Will omits his suspicions about LM Security having secret work. As a former SEAL, Lucas knows a lot about covert ops. Whether or not his suspicions are true, it’s none of his business.

“We strive to be.” Will nods at the answer. “We are always on the lookout for new talent.”

Will‘s lips twitch, figuring out Lucas’s game. “This,” he indicates the space between them, “is about recruitment.”

Appearing unsurprised by Will’s insight, Lucas confirms, “Yes.”

“I have no military background.”

“I am aware. Having a military background is not a requirement of LM Security. I have other non-military personnel.” Meeting Will’s eyes directly, Luc says, “I would love to have you on my team.”

Amused, considering he knows Lucas has been after Derek for some time, Will leans against the wall. “Given up on Derek, have you, mon ami?”

“I don’t give up,” Luc smirks. “I’ll keep working on Derek. Like a stone in a flowing river, I will eventually wear him down.”

“An apt analogy.” Watching Derek and Spencer lately, especially after the situation with Barry Kryupt, Will knows they are on the cusp of change. Children and all the changes that come with that. If—when they have children, Will wouldn’t be surprised if they both decided to leave the BAU. “With the way things are progressing, you may convince him sooner rather than later.”

“Ah, you see it too.”

“It doesn’t take a profiler to see things are changing for them.”

Luc dips his in concession. “No, it doesn’t.”

They glance over at the men in question. Spencer is talking with Jen. Derek and Josh are razzing each other as usual but Derek keeps checking on Spencer.

Refocusing on the offer, Will says simply, “I am a homicide detective, not a bodyguard or a tech genius.” He’s a good shot but his mind is his greatest weapon.

“I don’t need more muscle or another tech genius. I need investigators like you. LM Security has...branched out, shall we say.”

Will’s brow raises. “Branched out?”

“We aren’t limited to simple security any longer.”

Lucas is skilled at answering his questions without actually answering anything. If Lucas wants him, he is going to have to answer truthfully at some point. “Why me?”

”You’re smart. Determined. Dedicated. Charming. You would be a great asset to my company.”

“Your suddenly branched out company,” Will drawls slowly. Lucas inclines his head and Will again lets it go. “Investigating what exactly?” Will loves his job. The mental puzzle of a case draws him, yes, but he also loves to help people. The victims are already beyond help but he can stop the killer and give closure to the victim’s family. Love of his current job notwithstanding, Will isn’t opposed to hearing Lucas out.

“Exactly what you investigate now.”

“I investigate murder, mon ami.”

“Yes, you do.” Secrets deepen the hazel of Luc’s eyes.

* _Exactly as I thought. LM Security is much more than it seems._ * A part of him is intrigued and no doubt that’s what Lucas is hoping for. Investigators are driven by their curiosity and Will is no different. “I have my doubts that what you offer is the same as my job now.”

“It is in all the ways that matter,” Luc says cryptically, “and the differences should be easy enough to adjust to. I offer you a challenge.”

* _He’s good. Challenges are nearly irresistible to men like me._ * Will glances over at Jennifer. His wife and he share that same curious nature. They are drawn to challenges, to puzzles, driven to solve them. They also share a deep desire to help people.

Will crosses his arms over his chest and questions, “Why would I leave a job I enjoy?”

“A million reasons.” Lucas counts them off on his fingers. “Intellectual challenge, the cases you’ll work won’t be easy. True puzzles and you’ll be able to give them the due they deserve. Time and resources are limited for local law enforcement. Cases have to be put aside for the new ones. Labs are backlogged. Resources carefully monitored. My company’s limits are much higher. We have incredible resources at our fingertips, which would be at your disposal. Our clients care about results and sometimes that means sticking with a case for months.”

The limits of the DC Police are something Will has to fight against regularly. It is frustrating knowing he could be doing more but can’t. Will’s blue eyes gleam with interest at the opportunity of less strict limits.

Luc pushes on, “Altruism, you’ll still get to help people, stop a killer from hurting anyone else, and give the victim’s families closure. We take on pro bono as well as paying clients.”

Again, Will is intrigued. He likes the idea of pro bono cases, everyone deserves answers.

“A significant raise, you know local law enforcement are paid a pittance unless you are high enough up the food chain. I guarantee your starting salary will reflect your actual worth.”

The money doesn’t mean much to Will. He and Jen aren’t materialistic. Although it would be nice to stash away more money for Henry’s college fund. They could visit family more too. Maybe take an actual family vacation.

“Excellent benefits, including excellent insurance. If you are hurt or killed on the job, my company pays for everything. We take care of our own, Will.”

Will nods sharply, understanding how seriously Lucas takes that vow. In his line of work, getting hurt or killed on the job is always a possibility. Jen and Henry would be taken care of if something happened to him and that’s the only reassurance Will desires. His family is most important.

Luc pauses a beat before continuing, “Scheduling flexibility. If you want set hours, we can do that. If you need flexibility, we will work to meet your needs. In-house childcare.” They both glance over at Henry. “Many of my employees have families and they need to trust the people caring for their children. Our childcare facility is open 24 hours a day, seven days a week. The childcare employees go through extensive background checks and are constantly monitored. The childcare was built with safety in mind and is essentially a large, self-sustaining safe room. In the event we are infiltrated, the security doors are locked and cannot be unlocked from the outside.”

LM Security’s childcare sounds more like Fort Knox than anything else. While he and JJ do trust their current daycare, they cannot compare to LM Security’s.

“If you are called in, you never have to worry about Henry.”

Will sees why Lucas is successful. He knows what his employees want and need and makes sure they get it. The times he’s been called into work in the middle of night are always difficult. If Jen is gone, Will has to scramble to find someone and that often involves waking up a friend. At LM Security, he would always have a place for Henry to go, no matter the time.

“Lastly, security. We offer every employee one of our security systems for their homes and discounts for relatives and friends as well.”

Trying to absorb everything Lucas has said, Will’s gaze wanders to his wife and then to his young son. “You don’t pull punches, do you?”

“No. I go after what I want, Will. I want you and I’ll get you, whatever it takes. It is a win-win situation for us both.”

Will concedes that it seems that way. Meeting Luc’s hazel eyes directly, he is determined to get a straightforward answer. “I want the truth, Lucas. Everything you’ve said has been tempting but you aren’t being straight with me.”

“I haven’t lied about anything.”

“No,” Will admits. “Not an out and out lie. But you’ve skated around the truth enough.”

Lucas acknowledges Will’s accusation with grace. “True enough. LM Security extends past security and offers discreet private investigating. Our clients value our discretion.”

“Clients. Like who? The wealthy?”

“Some are, others are not. We do investigations for the government and for private citizens. LM Security wants no accolades and at times, secrecy is necessary. If you should accept, you will be required to sign a non-disclosure agreement. Once that is finished, you will be more deeply informed about our work. And we can talk about JJ as well. The secrecy of our work can be trying on relationships and in some cases, we have a significant other also sign a non-disclosure agreement, which would allow you to talk to JJ about the cases.”

The answer is more honest than Lucas has been thus far. He told him what he could, which is what Will needed. “I will think on your offer. I need to speak with Jen first. We’ll discuss it. Whatever we decide, I am honored by the offer.” Will sticks out his hand and Lucas shakes it firmly.

“Take all the time you need.”

Watching Lucas walk away, Will commends Derek for resisting this long. He, himself, doesn’t know if he’ll be able to pass up this offer.

**CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM**

“Be back in a flash. I’m going to get a drink.” Penelope kisses Mbizi’s cheek. As fast as Penelope disappears, Aaron appears in her place. Mbizi inclines his head in greeting. _*Here it comes._ * Jennifer had cornered him earlier, threatening him with death, quick and deadly like a dagger to the back. Aaron is the only remaining BAU member who has yet to threaten him.

“Mbizi.”

“Aaron,” he says, inclining his head in acknowledgment. The stoic, powerful man beside him reminds Mbizi of his father, intimidating but deeply caring underneath. Aaron doesn’t speak and Mbizi does nothing to break the silence. Aaron Hotchner is intimidating to be sure but Mbizi is surrounded by men and women like him every day. He respects the power of the man, however, he does fear him.

“Penelope has gone through a lot.”

Mbizi nods. The other threats had mentioned that. He doesn’t yet have the details but their relationship is only beginning. He has a lot to learn about Miss Penelope Garcia and he looks forward to it.

Aaron glances at the doorway where Penelope disappeared. “She has retained her innocence, despite the horrors she has seen and experienced.”

“I know. She shines.” Mbizi sometimes wonders if she shines too brightly for him.

“She does,” Aaron agrees. “Her innocence leaves her vulnerable.”

Mbizi knows that well. He’s seen how vulnerable naivety can make a person; they are easy targets. “I know.” The thought of Penelope being taken advantage of or worse, for her purity to be forever tarnished, boils his blood. No one will hurt her precious light with him around, no doubt her BAU family has the same mindset. Meeting Aaron’s gaze head on, Mbizi promises, “I’ll do everything in my power to protect her.”

“See that you do.”

The implied ‘or else’ does not go unnoticed. Aaron’s threat is more subtle than the others. Like all the threats he’s received from Penelope’s team, he knows Aaron’s is genuine. They love her and want to protect her. Mbizi can respect that as he feels the same.

**CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM**

Watching Mbizi getting threatened by the last member of the team, Derek’s thoughts are drawn to Spencer and the special ring he had made especially for him. Eyes flicking over to Spencer, butterflies flutter wildly in his stomach. * _He’s so beautiful,_ _inside and out._ _What did I ever do to deserve him?_ * The roar of his heart beating drowns out everything. Derek has never loved anyone like he loves Spencer. He wants Spencer to be his, always. He wants to make their relationship permanent, for Spencer to be his husband. He wants everything to be perfect.

“How’s the planning going?”

It takes everything in him not to jump at the sound of Dave’s voice. “Are you taking ninja lessons from Evelyn? I don’t remember you being this light on your feet.”

His lips twitch in amusement. “Evie isn’t a ninja.”

“Evie now, is it?”

Dave shrugs nonchalantly.

“Happy?”

Looking toward the library where he knows Evie is with Mbizi, Dave smiles. “Yeah. Evie’s great. She understands the job, better than any of my exes ever did.”

Derek claps Dave on the back. “I’m happy for you, man.” He hopes this time the relationship works out, for Dave’s sake.

“You never answered my question.”

Distracted by thoughts of Spencer and the ring he hopes to give him soon, Derek barely hears Dave. “Hm? What question?”

“I asked how the planning was going.”

Giving Dave a funny look, Derek says, “I’m not planning anything.”

“You definitely are.”

* _He can’t know...can he?_ * Narrowing his eyes, he tries to read his friend and colleague. * _Knowing Dave, he might._ * Having been a profiler for much longer than Derek, Dave is near impossible to read unless he allows it. “What exactly am I planning?”

Derek gulps nervously when Dave smirks and glances at Spencer. * _Am I that obvious? Does Spencer know?_ * He checks but luckily, Spencer didn’t notice the glance. If he would have seen the look on Dave’s face, Spencer would have known something was up. The question is, does Dave know what Derek thinks he knows? Dave leaves no doubt when he discreetly taps his ring finger. * _Shit. He does know._ * “How do you know? Have I been that obvious?”

“Obvious, no, but the conclusion is easy enough to come to. You and Spencer have been through a lot, especially recently. Going through what you did often puts things into perspective. Despite your past, we both know you are the marrying kind. You adore him. I don’t need a doctorate in human behavior to figure out that you are going to propose.”

“Does anyone else know?”

“We’re smart people, Derek. The team has been expecting this for a while. It won’t be a surprise to us. Spencer doesn’t, if that’s what you are worrying about. He’s focusing on recovering and his relief and happiness that Kryupt is gone and you are both alive. As much perceptive as he is, Spencer won’t see this coming.”

Derek nods slowly. He isn’t surprised the team figured it out, even if he hasn’t been obvious about it. He hopes Spencer continues to be oblivious; he wants to see that happy look of surprise on his face when he gets down on one knee. “I had the ring before all this happened.”  

Dave lightly grazes his hand over Derek’s shoulder. “You planned it all out, didn’t you?”

Rubbing the back of his neck wearily, Derek briefly closes his eyes. “Yeah but then Kryupt came into the picture. I wasn’t going to allow it to taint it, you know? I wanted the proposal to be about us. Just us.”

“You can have that, there’s nothing stopping you anymore.” Dave sips his drink carefully, eying the young man he considers a son. “You have my blessing if that means anything to you.”

Derek’s startled eyes meet Dave’s. The urge to glance at Spencer is overwhelming but if his love saw his eyes, he would know. Emotion chokes him. “It means the world to me, Dave.” Spencer doesn’t consider William Reid his father. William lost out long ago. He left when Spencer needed him most and from then on, William Reid was dead to him. Gideon, his once pseudo-father figure, did the exact same thing. For Spencer to trust Dave enough to take a chance on him says a lot about how he feels about Dave. To have Dave’s blessing is emotional.

Dave squeezes the back of Derek’s neck companionably. “No one could love him more.”

Blinking back tears, Derek says, “Thank you.” Composing himself, he remembers an equally important talk he had months ago. “Mom, Diana, I mean. She gave me her blessing, too.”

Derek had been incredibly nervous for that discussion. He’d flown out to see her, making certain that he’d be the only one that could be spared from the team, preventing Spencer from coming along. He had told Spencer he was visiting his ex-partner from Chicago PD, who was living near Las Vegas, needed help on the house he just bought, which wasn’t a lie. He simply had a more pressing reason to be in Vegas than helping out his ex-partner. Derek had promised Spencer he would visit Diana while he was there and he had. Nearly shaking in his boots walking up to the care facility, he’d been seconds from turning around and leaving but Spencer’s beautiful face flashed in his mind and his resolve firmed. Diana being Spencer’s family, the only family he is close to, Derek had known how important it was to get her blessing.

He’d felt awkward and uncertain, trying hard to hide his nervousness. Diana had seen right through him and bluntly asked him what was wrong. Derek can still remember how fast his heart had been beating. She’d smiled at him, a kind, patient smile that had reminded him of Spencer. Suddenly, everything settled. He told her how much he loved Spencer and how he wanted to be with him always. Then, he asked for her blessing. Diana paused and Derek had sweated bullets. He needed her blessing and couldn’t imagine asking Spencer without it. Diana is too important to him. The brief second of silence had felt like an eternity but then she smiled and gave him her blessing.

“Could you have asked without it?” The entire team knows how close Spencer is to his mother and knowing his history, it isn’t much of a surprise why.

Glancing over at Spencer, Derek shakes his head. “I don’t know. I don’t think so. She’s too important to him.” He hadn’t allowed himself to consider what he’d do if she’d denied him.

“That will mean a lot to him.”  

“As will knowing I have yours, as well.”

Dave’s face goes soft with affection. “I feel blessed to be in his life.”

Derek puts his arm around Dave, slapping his shoulder. “We all are.” Smiling, he knows he’s the most blessed of all.

“If you need help with anything, let me know.”

“I was hoping you’d say that. My plan involves his family and his friends, the ones that are willing to help.”

“Interesting.” Dave strokes his goatee in thought. He considers, then meets Derek’s eyes. “I am certainly willing.”

“Thanks, Dave. It’d mean a lot if you were involved, especially since his mom won’t be able to be.” Arm still around Dave, Derek squeezes his fingers gently. It means a lot to the older man to be an important part of Spencer’s life. “When I am ready, I’ll let you know.”

“Did you go shopping for rings with someone?”

Derek shakes his head. “No, it’s something I wanted to do on my own.” He spent some time picking out Spencer’s ring. He wanted something special for his love and he found it. No other ring is like the one he had made. “I hope Spencer likes it.”

Dave chuckles at Derek’s worry. “You know Spencer better than anyone, Derek. If you picked the ring out with Spencer in mind, he’ll love it.”

**CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM**

Spencer hides his smile at the degrees of suspicion on his three friends’ faces. “I’m sure you are all wondering why we’ve cornered you.”

“You could say that,” Will drawls in his usual easy, calm way.  

Arm around Spencer, Derek says, “We’ve been thinking about something and we wanted to talk to you about it.”

“We aren’t at work and it isn’t about work. Stop scowling. It’s nothing bad.” Spencer nudges Aaron, trying to get him to loosen up. He dislikes seeing Aaron wearing his agent face outside of work. At the scolding, Aaron rolls his shoulders and deliberately relaxes. Pleased, Spencer smiles.

“It’s about Jack and Henry. Spencer and I want to do something for them. However, it requires your permission.”

The three parents share a look. “What did you have in mind?” Jennifer asks.

“We were wondering if you would be opposed to us getting both Jack and Henry a dog, a puppy.” Earnest excitement makes Spencer look like a puppy himself. “Before you say anything, we know someone who can work with the puppies or dogs, if you prefer an adult, and train them. Tito Davidyan is an excellent dog trainer. He’s the one with the big mastiffs. He trains all LM Security’s dogs and he adopts shelter dogs from kill shelters, trains them and adopts them out. Some go to homes, some get jobs. Either way, Tito gets them love, companionship, and purpose.”

“I don’t know. I’ll have to discuss it with Jessica. She’d be caring for the dog while I’m working.” Aaron’s eyes are drawn to Clooney and Bella, who are sleeping on the floor. “I never had a dog growing up. Sean tried begging for one once.” Aaron closes his eyes at the memory. “He never asked again.”

Spencer touches Aaron’s arm gently in comfort. “I never had a pet either. I’m sure you remember my curse. I assure you, it was in full effect when I was a child. Babies and dogs alike.” Their reasons for not having a pet may have been different but the outcome was the same.

“Jen and I have discussed it before.” The two exchange a meaningful look. “Both of us had dogs as children and we do want Henry to have that as well. Henry is still young, meaning most of the responsibility would be on us.”

“On you, you mean, Will,” Jen adds.

He concedes she’s right. Jen’s schedule is erratic with all the traveling she does. “If Tito can help train the puppy, that would help a lot.”

“We will talk to him about it,” Derek says.

“We’ll talk about it at home; we have other things that may affect our decision.” Jennifer sends Will a questioning look and he answers by mouthing later.

Derek and Spencer smile at the three parents. “Please, let us know when you decide.” Spencer looks down at Clooney. “I never thought I’d break my curse but Clooney and Henry proved me wrong. Jack too. Clooney already gets spoiled.” He looks up at the sound of his name before laying his head down and going back to sleep. “I want Henry and Jack have a best friend they can always count on to love them.” Derek, Spencer, and Aaron could have used a friend like that during the difficulties in their childhoods and none of them had that. With their permission, Jack and Henry will.

Jen checks her watch. “It’s getting late. We need to get home and put Henry to bed. Our moms will be coming tomorrow.” With a nod, Will and Jen leave.

“I better find Jack, too. We’re spending tomorrow with Haley’s family.”

Spencer and Derek watch them leave. “They didn’t say no.”

Taking Spencer’s hand, Derek brushes it with his lips. “No, they didn’t.”

Spencer wraps his uninjured arm around Derek’s neck, tugging him closer. With lips near touching, he echoes, “No, they didn’t.”

“You are such a tease, Pretty Boy.”

“We haven’t been caught making out yet. Here’s our chance.”

The air from Derek’s laugh flows over Spencer’s lips. “You want to get caught?”

“No. I want to kiss you.” Spencer closes the distance between them, kissing Derek soft and coaxingly at first. Then Derek opens his mouth and the kiss turns demanding. Gently moving Derek against the wall, Spencer pins him and devours his lips. If he was healthy, he’d jump into his arms and writhe against Derek. Out of breath, Spencer reluctantly breaks the kiss, then goes exploring. Tilting Derek’s head, he finds the mark he left this morning and sucks on it teasingly, savoring the little noise Derek unsuccessfully tries to stifle.

“Spencer.”

“Do you like that, Der?” Spencer breathes against his neck.

Derek palms his ass cheeks. “Yes, so good, Baby.” The drag of teeth over his tendon forces out a groan. “Don’t stop.”

“Yes, please continue,” a feminine voice says lecherously.

Their heads snap toward the door. Derek glowers darkly at the intruder.

“The parents and kids are leaving if you didn’t know.”

“We _know_.”

She looks expectantly at the two men. “Going to continue?”

“Not in front of you, Miss Voyeur.”

“Why not? I can get Penelope and some popcorn. Make a show of it. Hell, I bet Josh wouldn’t mind watching with us.”

Derek bangs his head against the wall. “Just stop.”

Emily giggles. “You almost made it this year, Derek.”

“Would you leave already?”

“Get a little excited, Derek?”

“That’s it. I’m setting Spencer on you. You will pay for this, Emily Prentiss,” Derek warns.

Sobering at the threat, Emily looks nervously at the now grinning Spencer. * _Oh, shit._ * “Wait. I’m leaving. No need for whatever is going on in that devious, genius mind.” Emily runs out like monsters are chasing her.

“You gonna get her, Babe?”

Spencer grins widely. “You better believe it. Whether she likes it or not, I’m finding her a lover.”

“You do that. Maybe she’ll stop leering at us. You’d think after two years the novelty would wear off.”

Spencer grinds his hips into Derek’s. “We’re too hot together for the novelty to ever wear off.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since a few people have asked what incident I am referring it, I thought I would explain. It's from Show Me We're Alive where the implications are that Aaron was aroused by Derek and Spencer's loud sex. 
> 
> I wanted to have someone from Morgan’s family come but it didn’t feel right but with luck, I can work them into the next and final chapter.


	7. Spencer Goes on a Hunt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prepare to die from a fluff overdose. I hope everyone enjoys the chapter; I stayed up late and fought through a headache to get it posted tonight.

“Derek?”

Distracted, Derek replies, “Hm?” with his eyes still on the hockey game.

“I wanted to talk to you about...” Spencer hesitates. “Never mind.” Derek must hear something in his tone or read something in his body language as he shuts off the television and gives Spencer his full attention.

“I’m sorry, Babe. What did you want to talk about?”

Spencer waves him off. “It’s fine. Just watch your game.” He gets up to leave but a hand on his wrist stops him.

“Spencer, I can watch the game anytime. Talk to me.”

The sincerity in his voice makes him give in. “At the Christmas party, I realized something.” Spencer stops avoiding Derek’s eyes and meets his gaze straight on. “Aaron noticed something and talked to me. He made me realize what I was feeling.”

Concerned, Derek takes Spencer’s hand as if comforting himself by instigating a physical connection between them. “What is it?”

“I watched you with Henry and Jack. You’re a natural with them and they love you.” Before Derek can add the same about him, Spencer continues, “It made me realize I want that. I want that with you.”

Derek cups Spencer’s cheek. “You know I want a family with you.”

Spencer presses his cheek against Derek’s hand. “I know. We’ve talked about it but I think now it is time to do more than talk. I want to set up an appointment with Dr. O’Rourke. Unless you’ve changed your mind...” It seems like ages ago they talked about the emerging science. _*Maybe he doesn’t want that anymore. Maybe he thinks it’s unnatural, disgusting after thinking it through.*_ Before his mind can go into full-on doubting mode, Derek kisses him quick and hard.

“I haven’t changed my mind. I still want a child that’s half me and half you. More than anything.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. If Dr. O'Rourke can do it, I want to watch our baby grow inside you, to feel it move, just like regular couples do.”

Spencer surges forward, knocking Derek flat on his back, and plants kisses all over Derek’s laughing face. “I want that, too.” Leaning up on his elbows, he looks down at Derek. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, Pretty Boy.” Derek pecks his lips tenderly.

Not wanting to make the same mistake as Aaron, Spencer picks nervously at Derek’s shirt as he gets up his nerve. “Um, Derek?”  

“What is it, Love?”

Seeing those deep, warm eyes looking back at tinged with worry makes his heart melt. No one cares about him like Derek does. “What if I’m,” Spencer plays with the button on Derek’s shirt, “a failure?”

“A failure at what?”

“A parent.”

Derek tips Spencer’s head up with a finger under his chin. “Spencer. Don’t doubt yourself. You are going to make the best dad. Henry _adores_ you; you are his hero. And he isn’t the only one that thinks you’re awesome. Jack and Damien and Darius and Kiara. All of them love you and you love them. You have the biggest heart of anyone I know and you are loyal down to your bones. You, Spencer Reid, are going to be a fantastic dad.”

“I don’t know how to be a dad.”

“No one does, not to start out. But one thing I know about you is you show up.”

_*Which is exactly what William didn’t do.*_

“You already know how to be a great uncle, being a father is just another level.”

Spencer spreads his hands over Derek’s chest, smoothing the fabric of his shirt. “I hope I’m ready for it.” He makes a mental note to start reading parenting books. With how fast he can read, he might be able to read enough of them to feel at least somewhat prepared.

“Stop worrying. I know when things get rough, you’re going to be there. You won’t give up; you’re a fighter. Our child will always be able to count on you and that is what matters. The rest, we’ll have to figure out as we go.”

Tears prickle Spencer’s eyes. It’s what he wanted from his dad but didn’t get. For him to show up. To not give up when life gets hard. To be there when he and his mom needed him most. “Thank you, Derek. I-I needed to hear that.” If he does nothing else as a father, he’s going to be there for his child no matter what. Life can be hard and stressful at times but leaving is taking the easy way out. Spencer isn’t a quitter and he’s thankful neither is Derek. “I’m not my father and I will not be the kind of father he was to me. Life has its challenges but loving someone means you don’t give up. I won’t ever give up.”

Derek wipes away the tear from his cheek. “Never will I. We’re in this together. That’s what family is.”

Resting his cheek against Derek’s chest, Spencer makes himself comfortable on top of Derek, enjoying the long, light strokes up and down his back.

“Spencer?”

“Yes?”

“What are we going to do if Dr. O’Rourke’s procedure doesn’t work?”

With his chin on his stacked hands, Spencer stares into Derek’s worried eyes. “We’ll get through it. Together; just like we do everything else. Dr. O'Rourke is a genius and his research is a medical breakthrough. Just the possibility of it working is more of a chance than gay and lesbian couples have ever had. I want a child with you, a family. Whether that child is biologically ours or not isn’t what matters. What matters is he or she will be ours.”

“That,” Derek pecks Spencer’s lips, “is exactly what I wanted to hear.”

“We have options and as much as I want Dr. O’Rourke’s procedure to work, we can’t guarantee that.”

“So, explore all our options then?”

“Yes.”

**CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM**

Spencer squeezes Derek’s hand tight, waiting for the door to be answered. “Ready for this?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

The door opens and they are invited in. “Sit, sit.” Derek and Spencer sit closely together on the sofa.

Jennifer and Will sit down across from them. “What is this about?” The concern on their faces makes it obvious that they’ve detected their nervousness. “Henry’s with Jack and Aaron.”

“We wanted to talk to you about something.”

“We haven’t decided on the dog, yet, if that’s what this is about,” Jen says.

Derek shakes his head. “No, it’s something else. We,” he sends a silent message to Spencer, “had something else we wanted to discuss.”

“You guys are freaking me out. Just spit it out.”

Taking a deep breath, Derek says, “You know how we have talked about starting a family. We are ready to start doing more than talk.”

“We are exploring our options and we were wondering how you feel about surrogacy?”

Jen and Will share a quick glance. “Are you asking me in a general sense or are you asking how I would feel to be your surrogate?”

“Our surrogate,” Derek says.

“You know how important you are to Derek and I. We are asking you because we love and trust you.”

Jennifer looks at Spencer and Derek, then locks eyes with her husband.

“We don’t expect an answer now,” Spencer explains. “This is a big decision for all of us. Please, think carefully before you decide. We want an honest answer. Consenting to be our surrogate is a significant commitment.”

Derek reassures, “We will understand if you decide it isn’t something you can do.” He squeezes Spencer’s hand. “We are hoping Dr. O’Rourke’s procedure works and Spencer will be able to carry our child himself.”

“The research has gotten that far?” Will asks.

Spencer smiles contently. “Yes. We’ve set up an appointment with him. He has a long waiting list, understandably, and we are officially on it.”

“As excited and hopeful as we are, we have to keep our options open. If it doesn’t work, we want to know what avenue to pursue next. Whatever it takes, Pretty Boy and I, we’re going to have a family.” Derek sends Spencer an adoring look.

“I hope it works, Spence.”

Shy and hopeful, Spencer looks at her. “Me too.”

“I promise to think about being your surrogate. Will and I will talk about it. We will let you know when we make our decision.”

“Take as much time as you need,” Derek says.

**CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM**

“Ready for this?”

Panic and nervousness rush through him. Derek takes a deep, shaky breath. “I have never been more nervous.”

Aaron offers him a half amused, half supportive look. He avoids pointing out that Derek’s been in life threatening situations numerous times in the past but _this_ is what makes him shake with fear. “It’s going to be fine.”

“It’s going to be fine,” Derek chants to himself.

“Stop worrying. He’s going to say yes.”

Derek scrubs his hand over his face. “God, I hope so.” Pulling himself together, he says, “Let’s do this.”

Aaron pats him once more and then leaves for his place in Derek’s plan.

“Okay, I can do this.” Settling his nerves, Derek waits for Spencer to get out of the shower. The sight of Spencer covered in only a towel turns his nerves into lust. _*NOT the time, Derek. FOCUS!*_ Derek’s eyes travel over Spencer’s lithe form. _*Later, if things go right.*_

Spencer drops his towel without an ounce of shyness and starts dressing. Finished, he turns around and cocks a hip. “Enjoy the show, Der?”

“Always.” Seeing Spencer naked is a treat, only for him, and if he has his way, it will stay that way. Derek kisses his soft lips.

“Do we have time before this surprise of yours?” Spencer murmurs against his lips, his hands sliding down Derek’s body to cup his ample behind.

Derek groans, his dick unhelpfully shouting yes while his brain tries to convince his body otherwise. Spencer squeezing his ass only makes it harder for his brain. “Pretty Boy,” Derek tries to chide but it comes out as more of a whine. Spencer starts guiding him backward toward the bed. “No, stop.” Derek’s brain wins, only because he wants this day and the proposal to be perfect. Having sex, while pleasurable, would mess with his well-thought out plans.

Spencer steps back at the denial.

Derek avoids his eyes, not wanting to see the pout on his face. He’s not certain he would be able to resist jumping him and he needs to stay strong. This day is for Spencer and Derek won’t allow his libido and lack of willpower to resist Spencer screw it up. “I have the day all planned out and as much as I want to, we don’t have time.”

“Are you sure?” Spencer asks seductively.

Derek shivers at the sexy tone. He stands strong, hanging onto his control by his fingernails. _*This is for Spencer.*_ “Yes.”

“Okay, fine.” Spencer adjusts himself, then walks out of the room with a very deliberate sway of his hips. Derek’s eyes watch his ass intently as it moves back and forth, just as Spencer anticipated. “You coming?” Spencer asks over his shoulder.

Still staring at Spencer’s butt, Derek says distractedly, “God, I hope so.” Spencer wiggles and Derek shudders, his control straining against the leash. _*He’s going to kill me, the little tease.*_

“Oh, you will,” Spencer says with a laugh. “Not now, though. There is somewhere we need to be, which is…” he trails off.

Snapping out of his lust daze, Derek says, “Nice try, Pretty Boy.”

Spencer shrugs unrepentantly. “It was worth a try.” Derek wraps an arm around his shoulder and walks with him toward the front door. Clooney is sitting there, an envelope daintily held in his mouth. “What’s this?” Spencer asks.

“Open it and find out.”

With a grateful pat, Spencer takes the envelope out of Clooney’s mouth and opens it, reading it aloud. “The past years with you have been the happiest of my life. The love and memories we share mean everything to me.” He melts a little. “Aw, Derek. That’s really sweet.”

“Thank you, Pretty Boy. I mean every word.” He can’t resist a quick kiss before reminding him to keep reading.

“With the help of a few special people in our lives, I have created a treasure hunt, of sorts, with a special surprise at the end.” Spencer looks up. “You know Valentine’s Day isn’t for several weeks.”

“I know. You deserve a special day and I don’t need some commercial holiday to tell me to give you one.”

“Did you know Valentine’s Day comes from…”

Laughing, Derek says, “Spencer.”

“Just teasing.”

Derek’s relieved not to receive a lecture about the origins of Valentine’s Day...again. His nerves can’t take it right now. “I wanted you to have the first clue somewhere special to us.” Barry Kryupt may have ruined parts of their house for them but not this.

“Next to the door is special to us?”

Derek’s mind flashes back to that day, remembering the emotions rolling through him. The panic, the fear, and the frightening intensity of his newly discovered love for Spencer. “Over two years ago, we stood here. Terrified out of our minds of losing each other.”

“And then you kissed me.”

“Yeah. I kissed you and it changed my life forever.”

“And mine.”

Tangling his fingers in Spencer’s wavy hair, Derek’s heart swells. Every second of his life that lead up to the moment of Spencer becoming his was worth it and knowing Spencer feels the same makes it all the better. “I’ll never forget that day.”

Tugging Derek closer, Spencer says, “Neither will I. I’ve never been more stunned when you kissed me for the first time.”

“Did I ever tell you how much that one kiss affected me? Just a press of my lips against yours.”

“Tell me.” His breath ghosts over Derek’s lips.

“It was like being struck by lightning, intense and powerful. It shocked the hell out of me. If I hadn’t been the most terrified I’ve ever been in my entire life at the thought of losing you, that kiss would have shocked me stupid. No one else’s kiss has ever felt like yours does. Your kiss, your touch is like liquid fire and it has been since the day I kissed you. I don’t know what I’d do without that feeling.”

With a smirk, Spencer presses close to Derek. “One little peck and I hooked you.”

“For life.”

Spencer wraps his arms around Derek’s neck and says with nonchalance, “I’m guessing the awesome blow job I gave you didn’t hurt, either.”

“Jesus, Pretty Boy.” Derek’s happy he wasn’t drinking anything or he’d be spraying it everywhere. Healed as he is, Spencer’s sexual appetite is ravenous. _*A real hardship for me.*_ Spencer’s words are not helping Derek keep focused on the special day he has planned. It wouldn’t take much for him to relive the memory and want to recreate it, which is probably Spencer’s plan. “I really have corrupted you.”

“Yeah but you love it.”

Laughing, Derek agrees, “I really do. But this time, you’re not going to distract me with your decidedly sexy body. Or trick me.”

Spencer grinds his hips slowly into Derek’s. “Are you sure?” He fiddles with Derek’s belt. “I could...do something for you if tell me one little thing,” he promises coyly.

“Oh, yeah. What’s that?” If Spencer thinks he doesn’t know his game, he isn’t the genius profiler he knows and loves.

“Just a little thing,” Spencer smiles cheekily, “what’s that surprise you mentioned?”

Derek pats Spencer’s cheek. “Nice try, Pretty Boy. Your first clue is on the back of the card. I’ll see you at the end.”

“You’re not coming with me?”

“I’ll be waiting for you at the end, Baby.” He hopes he’s doing this way the right way. Spencer is special and he deserves more than a simple proposal.

One last kiss and Derek leaves Spencer to the hunt.

**CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM**

Spencer watches Derek leave, a little amused and a lot intrigued by Derek’s treasure hunt. He isn’t sure what Derek means by a treasure hunt ‘of sorts’ but he’s excited to find out. _*I wonder what treasure awaits me at the end.*_ Spencer grins, feeling slightly giddy from anticipation, almost like he’s a kid. Looking down at Clooney, he pats him absentmindedly. “I wonder what your daddy has planned today.” When he stops petting him, Clooney nudges him. Laughing, Spencer gives him what he wants, petting him with one hand and flipping the card over with the other.

_My love, my darling, my Pretty Boy._

_We were strangers once. Do you remember?_

_To me, you were the scrawny kid playing agent. More brains than sense._

_To you, I was the playboy jock of your nightmares. More muscles than brains._

_We’ve come a long way._

_Let us start where it all began._

He remembers meeting the team for the first time. Twenty-two years old and terrified out of his mind. Spencer looks down at Clooney. “Probably didn’t help my confidence when they had to make special exceptions to allow me to into the field.”

Clooney cocks his head to the side.

“Derek’s perception of me being a scrawny kid playing agent wasn’t exactly wrong. In the Academy, I had the book-related side down but the rest? I was useless. Couldn’t shoot, run. Anything physical was pretty impossible. I had the muscle mass of a toddler.” Spencer flexes, poking at his bicep. “A lot has changed since my first day.”

Spencer gives Clooney a good rub. “Time to start the hunt. Wish me luck.” He walks out to find a sleek black luxury car parked in the driveway. A chauffeur dressed in a sharp black suit and tie with a black dress coat over it waits beside the car. Covering his hands are black leather gloves and shiny black shoes.

With a slight bow, the man says, “Hello sir, my name is Edwin and I’ll be driving you today.” Edwin opens the rear door and invites Spencer inside.

He’s been driven around frequently as he dislikes driving but never like this. “Dr. Reid. Uh, you don’t have to call me that. Reid is fine or Spencer.”

“Whatever you desire, sir.”

Spencer swears he can see a tiny flicker of amusement in Edwin’s dark eyes. Realizing he’s been standing beside the open car door for quite some time. Embarrassed, Spencer scrambles into the car. The seat beneath his bottom is buttery soft leather.

Edwin gently closes the door. Once in the driver’s seat, he asks, “Where to, sir?”

“FBI headquarters, Quantico.” Spencer rattles off the address and settles in for the ride. _*A treasure hunt. Who would have thought?*_ Watching the buildings pass by, a hint of a smile forms on his lips. Anticipation makes his knee bounce. Spencer barely notices Edwin showing the guard his pass and being waved through. _*Derek must have given him that.*_ Excited, he bounds out the car before Edwin can open the door for him and practically skips into the building. The same childlike excitement he feels on Halloween bubbles inside him. Spencer doesn’t mind if he is acting silly, he is going to enjoy every moment of this. When the elevator doors open, Emily is standing in the bullpen holding an envelope. He bounces toward her like an enthusiastic puppy. “Hi, Emily!”

Her lips twitch and she greets, “Hello, Spencer.”

“Is that for me?”

“Yes but first, Derek has a quote he wanted me to recite to start your hunt.” Emily clears her throat. “Vera Nazarian said “Sometimes, reaching out and taking someone’s hand is the beginning of a journey. At other times, it is allowing another to take yours.”

As a man known for placing great value on words, Spencer appreciates the time Derek must have taken to find the perfect quote. Nazarian’s words fit their first meeting and their relationship. Derek offered friendship to him, despite how different they are. Spencer doubts either of them after that first meeting could have imagined becoming best friends. Yet, with time, they did. It took them, Spencer especially, to be able to trust and see beyond the image projected to the world. His offer for more than friendship years later was more defiant than sincere. Nonetheless, Derek grabbed onto it with both hands. He never believed Derek would desire him, much less love him. Courage and trust from them both brought them to where they are today. Their lives would be worlds different if either of them had refused the hand offered to them. Taking a chance paid off in full for them; He couldn’t be happier.  

Spencer takes the envelope Emily hands over, tears it open and quickly reads Derek’s words.

_Our journey started here,_

_With me reaching out and taking your hand,_

_As reluctant as you were to allow that._

Spencer laughs. He remembers how much it had taken to force himself to shake hands with his new teammates and even harder to stop himself from wiping the germs from his hands onto his pants afterward. He’s come a long way since then, even if he still finds shaking hands completely unsanitary. Spencer much rather prefers the fist bump, less skin to skin contact and none with the palms of the hand.

_Don’t think we all didn’t know you wanted to wipe away our ‘germs.’_

He imagines he was obvious about his germ issues, especially to trained profilers.

_One handshake and we became colleagues, whether we wanted it or not._

_Having a gun pointed at me changed things, opened my eyes._

_Do you remember?_

_Terrified as you were, you taunted him into pointing it at you._

_Young and inexperienced as you were, you earned my respect._

_My brave, beautiful boy. You saved my life that day._

_I won’t ever forget._

Fingers tightening on the paper, Spencer relives that day. He had been terrified. Only a few months on the job, he was green and he knew it. Yet that couldn’t, _wouldn’t_ , hold him back when the UnSub had his gun pointed at the back of Derek’s head. He and Derek had still been trying to work past their prejudices, the jock and the brain. It didn’t matter that he wasn’t sure he even liked Derek, he needed to save his teammate. Shaking inside, Spencer had manipulated Collin Martin into pointing the gun at him and giving Derek the opening he needed to take him down. It was a pivotal case for them both. Spencer trusted Derek to disarm Martin before he could shoot him and as a result, he saved Derek’s life.

Knowing exactly where Derek is telling him to go, Spencer looks up at Emily. “How long has he been planning this hunt?” Emily doesn’t answer except for shrugging her shoulders elegantly, which makes him wonder all the more. _*How did he manage to hide this from me?*_

“Know where you are going next?”

Lost in his thoughts, Spencer almost doesn’t hear her question and answers distractedly, “Yes. A case in Springfield, Virginia, my first year on the job. The UnSub targeted pedophiles, whether convicted or simply suspected, tortured and killed them. He left them at Lake Accotink Park. A four hundred and ninety-three-acre park, including a fifty-five-acre lake. A large area for him to hide his victims. We knew he came back to visit the dump sites of his victims and set up surveillance, trying to catch him. The UnSub, Collin Martin, was an avid hunter and outdoorsman. He knew the woods well, better than us.” Spencer was even less of an outdoorsman than he is today. He definitely hadn’t been in his element, not that any of them were practically woodsy. “He came up behind us, his gun on Derek. Martin wasn’t too concerned with me, not that I blame him. He would have killed Derek but I tricked him by implying I was a pedophile. He swung the gun in my direction and gave Derek an opening. It was a memorable case for us both.”

“You remember every case.”

Spencer shrugs. “Some are easier to remember than others.”

Nodding, Emily understands that well.

“I better get going, find out who is waiting for me next.” With a wave, Spencer takes the elevator down.

Edwin straightens at the sight of him and opens the rear door for him.

“Thanks,” he says as he slides into the seat.

Back in the driver’s seat, Edwin asks, “Where to next, sir?”

“Reid.”

Edwin inclines his head in acceptance. “Reid.”

“Springfield, Virginia. Lake Accotink Park. I assume Derek made sure you were familiar with all the places we are going today.”

“Yes, Reid.”

Settling back in the heavenly seat, Spencer asks, “Have you ever done anything like this before?”

Without taking his eyes off the road, Edwin answers, “No. I can honestly say I have never driven anyone around for a treasure hunt.”

“Who do you typically drive, if you can say?”

“It varies. Wealthy tourists, the occasional celebrity or romantic night out, business people.”

Curious, Spencer asks, “How did you become a chauffeur?”

Edwin glances back at Spencer in his mirror.

“You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”

“It’s fine. I used to be in the military.”

“Really? What branch?”

“Army. Special Forces Engineer Sergeant.”

Spencer has studied the military some but not in-depth enough to know the duties of an engineer sergeant. “What did that entail?” From Edwin’s reaction, he can see his chauffeur doesn’t mind the question.

“Demolitions, explosives, field fortification, stuff like that. It’s how I met McWills.”

Spencer snaps to attention at the name. “McWills, as in Lucas McWills?”

“One in the same.”

“You know Luc?” Spencer says in disbelief.

“Yeah, he attended a training course I did on explosives and demolition at Navy base. We kept in touch after that.”

Spencer shakes his head. “It’s not a coincidence that you know Luc, is it?”

Edwin chuckles. “McWills recommended me, apparently.”

Knowing how overprotective Derek is of him, Spencer bets he was over the moon to find a chauffeur that is known and trusted by Luc. “Let me guess, Derek wouldn’t take anyone but you.”

Edwin’s lips twitch. “He was most insistent.”

“I bet he was.”

“One of his requirements was that I carry.”

Spencer rubs his temples wearily.

Glancing at Spencer in the mirror, Edwin says, “Morgan was adamant you are some sort of trouble magnet. He thought it was best I be prepared.”

“I’m not that bad!”

Shrugging, Edwin says, “Your man disagrees. How many times has your life been threatened?”

Spencer’s mouth snaps shut and he looks to the side. Answering that will not help his case. “That’s not the point.”

Edwin laughs. “Trouble magnet or not, you’ve made it out of all your troubles, and from what I can see relatively unscathed.”

“Profiling; it’s saved my life more times than I can count.”

Noticing they are close, Edwin takes out his phone and quickly informs someone they have almost arrived.

Parking, Edwin opens the door for him and Spencer steps out and finds two familiar faces waiting for him.

Standing tall with dark aviator sunglasses protecting his dark eyes is Aaron Hotchner. His boss appears oblivious to the temperature, his head bare. At his side is a red-cheeked Jack.

“Hey Spencer! We were playing at the playground while we waited. Dad said when we’re done here, we can go back to…” Jack’s words are muffled by Aaron’s hand.

Spencer’s lips curve into a smirk. “Go back to who exactly, Aaron?”

Jack tugs on Aaron’s hand to answer but he can’t get his dad to budge.

“Nobody.”

“Nobody,” Spencer repeats, his eyes sharpening and a wide grin stretching across his lips. _*Aaron is seeing someone! Someone serious enough to meet and spend time with Jack.*_

Aaron squats down and whispers into Jack’s ear. The little boy nods carefully and the hand is removed from his mouth.

“Uncle Derek wanted us to give this to you.” Jack thrusts the envelope at Spencer and turns to his dad. “Can I go play with—” he glances at Spencer then back at Aaron, “my friend now?”

Aaron looks like he wants to facepalm and sigh at Jack’s lack of subtlety. “In a minute, buddy. Remember Uncle Derek wanted me to say something first.”

“Oh, yeah.”

Resigned to the knowledge his colleagues and friends will be watching him like a hawk and pestering nonstop for information, Aaron repeats the words Derek requested of him. “Courage is not living without fear. Courage is being scared to death and doing the right thing anyway.”

Spencer is familiar with the Chae Richardson quote. “The mantra I lived by during most of my FBI career thus far. I do some of my best work under intense terror.” Experience and maturity have lessened his fear but it hasn’t disappeared. He hopes it never does completely. It’s kept him alive thus far.

“We know. You’ve saved a lot of people by using your fear as a motivator.”

“Tools are meant to be used and what is fear but a tool?” One he’s used many times over his career. If he can save someone he loves or a victim, he will do whatever it takes. They all will. It’s who they are.

“Daddy.” Jack tugs at Aaron’s jacket. “I want to go play.”

Not wanting to take away any more time with Aaron from Jack, Spencer says, “Go on. I have my next clue. Have fun, both of you.”

Jack lights up. “Thanks Spencer! Have fun on your hunt!”

“You too, Jack. Have fun with your...friend and your dad.” Aaron’s mouth tightens in response. Spencer can’t wait to attempt to pry the information out of him. “You as well, Aaron. Enjoy.” Aaron’s jaw flexes violently at Spencer’s laughing words. If not for Jack’s presence, Spencer is sure Aaron would have some biting words for him.

Aaron glares at Spencer’s beaming face but allows Jack to tug him toward the playground, leaving a waving Spencer behind.

Spencer rubs his hands together with glee, he isn’t sure which he is more excited about: finding out about Aaron’s new beau or Derek’s next note.

“Where to next, Reid?”

Pulled away from his scheming thoughts, Spencer answers distractedly, “Hm? Oh, I haven’t read the card yet.” He smirks at the chauffeur. “My boss had the card and his son let it slip that they’re here with someone. Aaron’s been widowed for some time and I intended on setting him up with someone. It appears that will not be necessary.”

“You’re happy about it, then?”

“Yes, for more than one reason. Hotch, my boss, he’s like a steel trap when it comes to keeping secrets. A true challenge and I do love a challenge. I’m going to enjoy getting it out of him.” Spencer’s mind runs through his many plans. He says absentmindedly, “Hm...the kitten pout might work.”

“The kitten pout?”

Spencer turns his kitten pout, as Penelope calls it, on Edwin, who jolts at the sight.

“How do you even _do_ that?”

“Genetics and practice.” The look has gotten him a lot over the years. He’s perfected it and keeps it in his bag of tricks for when he really wants something. The dish on Aaron’s new love definitely fits.

“Your boss doesn’t stand a chance.”

“He’s a tough nut to crack but I’ve done it before. He’ll fight but I am relentless when I want something.” Spencer twirls the envelope around with his nimble fingers, letting the anticipation build before he opens it.

_My guardian angel. How many times have you saved my life?_

_My life, my body, my heart, my soul._

_My past self could never have imagined what you would come to mean to me._

_Or maybe he could have, with a little push._

_I never had to work as hard to make someone a friend as I did with you._

_Getting past your walls was one of the hardest fights of my life._

_Worth every second, my love._

_Do you remember the first time you gave a little?_

_Our first step toward friendship, when you finally said yes, instead of no._

_Exhaustion and hunger worked in my favor._

Spencer lets the words and the memories wash over him. Their history had a bumpy beginning because of the scars of his past but Derek’s persistence eventually earned his trust and friendship. Spencer resisted his attempts at friendship, afraid to open himself up to the risk of being hurt. Derek never gave up; whatever the reason, Spencer is grateful.

His past teenage self would be more stunned than Derek’s to learn his best friend is a jock, and never would have believed that the jock turned out to be the love of his life.

Spencer’s mind turns back to the clue. _*What was the first time I said yes to Derek’s repeated offers to go out?*_ It takes a long moment to remember. _*The Elwood case.*_ It was a long, mentally and psychologically exhausting case. He was dead tired as was everyone else. The case was brutal enough to turn all their stomachs and none of them had eaten in longer than advised. Only upon landing did their hunger make itself known. Derek pushed for everyone to go to a nearby diner, Spencer had been too exhausted and hungry to refuse.

_*I can’t believe he remembers.*_

It wasn’t a momentous occasion, just a simple meal between the team. No one had the energy to do more than shovel food in their mouths. Yet, Derek remembers it. Perhaps because it was the first time he didn’t say no to his offers to spend time together outside of work.

“I take it you know where to go next,” Edwin says, clued in by the soft smile on Spencer’s face.

“Berta’s Place.” The team still eats there from time to time, especially when they land feeling tired and starved. Nothing fancy. The people there don’t care if they look like they’ve been dragged to hell and back, which happens from time to time. It’s a place to get good food that comes fast and without fuss.

Sitting in their normal booth is JJ with Will and Henry. She points in his direction, Henry whipped his body around to catch a glimpse of him. Spencer’s heart swells at the joy in his godson’s face. He cherishes every time Henry looks at him like that. It makes him happy, no matter how many times he sees it.

_*I want to see that look every day. To see love and trust and joy in a child’s face when he looks at me.*_ Longing swells inside him, making his stride stutter imperceptibly. With each passing day, Spencer wants a child of his own more. His and Derek’s child. _*Someday soon.*_ He and Derek are prepared for the process because the result is a family.

“Hi, Uncle ‘Pencer!”

With true joy, he hugs his enthusiastic godson, who he adores more than he thought possible. “Hey, Henry.” Sliding in next to Henry, Spencer greets JJ and Will.

“How goes the hunt, Spencer?”

“Well. Derek must have put a lot of thought into it. I don’t know when he had the time for it or how he successfully hid it from me.” The time he spent on the hunt makes Spencer feel important. The fact that he never saw a hint of it shows him how important it was to Derek that he be surprised. Hiding anything from a profiler, especially since they live together, is not easy. He worked hard to keep it a secret. Before Derek, few could spare him a moment much less make a point to plan something special just for him.

To entertain Henry, Spencer dances a coin over his knuckles while he talks to JJ and Will. “Did he talk to you about the details of the hunt?”

Jen shrugs. “He asked for our help, he told us what to do and where to be.”

“It was important to him, doing this for you,” Will says. “He didn’t tell us what the note said.”

“What any of them would say.”

Spencer makes the coin disappear, having it reappear by Henry’s ear to his delight. “They’ve been…” Spencer looks up in thought, “special. Little reminders of the progression of our relationship, starting from when we were strangers and met for the first time.” This journey reminds him of how far they have come. He hasn’t thought about the progression of their relationship deeply before. How they got together, yes, but never from the very beginning. Now he is. Their beginning wasn’t anything remarkable but they built on it. Progress was slow but they laid a solid foundation, which is what their relationship rests upon. It’s their core, without it, they wouldn’t be together.

Breaking his thoughts, Will asks, “What does this diner represent?”

With a smile, Spencer says, “Our first step toward friendship. I can’t believe he even remembers but this is the first place we, the whole team, went out together outside of work.”

“I don’t remember when that was. However, I do remember him always pestering you to go out with the team. He was relentless and you were stubborn.”

Spencer defends, “I was trying to protect myself.”

JJ smirks. “Yeah, from big bad jock Derek.”

“I didn’t know him, he could have been planning something. He did tease me a lot.”

JJ fake coughs, “Pulling pigtails.”

“Even then,” Will says with a big grin.

Chuckling, Spencer admits a part of it could have been. Derek’s attraction to him was buried so deep that it would have remained hidden if he hadn’t yelled in Derek’s face that he was in love with him. “Maybe, although we’ll never know unless we find a way to read his unconscious memories.”

A piece of food splats against Will’s face and the three adults turn to the giggling toddler. “Henry, we don’t throw food. Tell Daddy you’re sorry for hitting him.”

Henry deflates; he wanted attention, not scolding, “Sorry, Daddy.”

“You’re forgiven.”

“Can we go play now?”

Will slides out of the booth and picks up Henry. “I’ll go clean him up.”

Spencer watches Will take a laughing Henry to the bathroom. “You’ve got a good man there, Jen.”

“I know. I couldn’t ask for a better one. I’m happy to say you’ve got a great one yourself.”

“I know. I knew it before today. Derek didn’t have to do this for me. I already know he loves me.”

“Spence, he wanted to do something special for you and you deserve it. Enjoy it.”

Jen isn’t his best friend for nothing. She sensed his feelings and wouldn’t let him feel guilty or unworthy of the attention. “I will do my best.” A small piece of him feels undeserving of the time and effort Derek put into the hunt.

“You better. Don’t make me break out the moody elf costume from your closet because I will. I’m not afraid of tying you down and painting you up.”

Spencer laughs. “That won’t be necessary.”

“Only happiness today, okay?”

“Promise.” Derek spent time on the hunt and Spencer isn’t going to let doubt and insecurity ruin it.

“Good.” JJ gets up and gives Spencer a quick hug, passing over the envelope. Reciting, she says, “Best friends: it’s not a label…”

Spencer finishes with a smile, “...it’s a promise.” Derek went from a stranger to a teammate to a friend to his best friend. Derek lives and breathes the promise of a best friend. He isn’t only his lover but his best friend.

“One Derek takes seriously.”

“I know.” He does know he can count on Derek to be there for him, although a reminder never hurts.

Will and a scrubbed clean Henry approach. “Ready?”

“Yeah, just let me pay the check,” JJ says. “I’ll meet you at the car.”

“Okay.” Turning to Spencer, Will says, “Say bye to Uncle Spencer.”

Henry waves his little hand energetically. “Bye Uncle ‘Pencer.”

“Bye, buddy.”

Spencer stares down at the envelope as they leave, Jen offering him a light pat on the shoulder as she passes by.

“Can I get you something, sweetie?”

Looking up, he doesn’t recognize the waitress. Her face is weathered, as if she’s gone through some tough times in her life, but her smile is genuine.

“No, thank you.”

“Okay, just give a holler if you change your mind.”

“I will.” The waitress sways away and Spencer refocuses on the envelope. Taking a deep breath, he opens it and starts to read.

_The jock and the brain._

_We couldn’t be more different,_

_But our connection couldn’t be denied._

_You became my best friend, the best I ever had._

_It’s a promise, always._

_Chocolate Thunder and Pretty Boy._

Spencer laughs at the nickname, one of many Penelope has graced upon Derek. The one she can’t give him though is _mine_ and that’s what matters to him.

_Linked first through our jobs, friendship connected us four forever._

_You risked your battered heart with the hope I wouldn’t remove it._

_I’m not sorry I pursued your friendship._

_You were worth every bit of trouble._

_Getting to know you, the real you, has been one of the highlights of my life._

_Your heart, your mind, your beautiful soul, all of it boggles my mind._

_I can’t imagine my life without you in it._

_I never want to._

He shakes his head fondly at the clue. Spencer knew where to go next with one word. Derek might as well have given him a flashing neon sign, he knew Spencer would notice it immediately. Spencer pays no notice to anything as he walks out of the diner and settles into the back seat of the luxury car.

“Where to?”

“The Board Room.” Spencer doesn’t know how many nights he and Derek have spent at The Board Room relaxing and playing games, just the two of them and with friends. They’ve been regulars for years, long before they became a couple. On the ride there, Spencer wonders who will be waiting for him.

Spencer walks in, intently searching for the person Derek asked to wait for his arrival. His eyes find a familiar figure sipping her drink. Rachel Kingston.

“Rachel!”

The plump brunette turns toward him, a smile blossoming on her face. “Spencer.”

“Derek roped you into this?” Spencer asks, taking a seat on the stool beside her.

“He asked.” She takes a drink. “A treasure hunt, you’ve caught a good one.”

“I know it.”

He and Derek met Rachel and her husband, Desmond, here. They’re both obsessed with games and are regulars here. When she discovered Spencer’s genius level intelligence, Rachel was giddy to have found a worthy opponent. Desmond is a decent player but not quite up to Rachel’s level, few people are. Spencer has lost count of how many chess matches they’ve played. Trivial pursuit is a favorite between the four of them; they have had some epic games.

“How upset was Desmond that he didn’t think of it first?”

Rachel snorts. “Immensely. I have a feeling he’s going to have an elaborate hunt for us this summer.”

“Count me in. Derek might take some persuading.”

“Just give him the pout and he’ll give in.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Spencer looks around and spots Desmond deep in a game of D&D with his regular group. “How long have they been playing?”

“Since we got here at opening time. No doubt, they’ll play until closing.” She rolls her eyes fondly. “After you leave, I’m going to yoga. Everyone misses you, by the way. The same with Jen and Emily. I’ll let ‘em know this time it isn’t because of work.”

“Tell them I miss them too. Doing it at home isn’t the same. I promise, I’ll be back the first chance I can.”

“You better. I expect to see Emily with you, Jen has an excuse with Henry. Em, however, does not. Until she’s got a regular hottie in her bed, she better get her ass back to yoga.”

Snickering, Spencer answers, “I’ll be sure to tell her that.”

“Good.” Rachel takes the envelope out and offers it to Spencer. “Your next clue, my friend.”

Excitement flutters in his belly. Spencer is going to remember this special day for a long time. _*I’ll have to get a special box to put the letters in. I want to keep them safe for many years to come*_ He is going to take them out and read them whenever he needs to feel Derek’s love and he isn’t around. Years in the future when their kids are grown, he’s going to share these with them. Show them how sweet and romantic Derek was. Show them that they deserve a partner as loving and dedicated as their dad is.

Spencer takes it and smooths the paper with reverence.

“I get the feeling Derek’s clues are more meaningful than your average treasure hunt.”

Savoring the anticipation of opening and reading the next note, Spencer only nods.

Rachel watches Spencer stare at the envelope.

Not wanting to open it here, Spencer rises gracefully. Barely able to tear his eyes away from the note, he thanks Rachel for her time and goes back to the car.

Edwin keeps silent as Spencer opens the envelope and draws the next clue out, the longest one yet.

_My life changed the second you told me the truth._

_You struck me dumb when you screamed those words at me._

_Five little words._

_I’m in love with you._

_It stopped me faster than a gun to my head ever could._

_Realizing you were gone, I’ve never been more terrified._

_The thought of losing you was the worst thing I could have imagined._

_It still is._

_I thank God every day I found you in time._

_It broke my heart seeing you like that._

_Miserable. Hopeless._

_I hated knowing I made you feel that way but at least I knew I could change it._

_Seeing the light and love in your eyes when you finally believed I loved you back was everything._

_I saw it again the next morning when you woke up and realized it wasn’t a dream._

_You’re my dream, Pretty Boy._

_I’ve known that since the moment I figured out what you meant to me._

_Could you see how proud I was to be by your side on our first date?_

_No big gay freak out, even if you were expecting it._

_Your love was my gift, Baby._

_I’m no genius but you should have given me some credit._

_I’m smart enough not to throw my best chance at happiness away._

“I never should have doubted you, Derek. You proved me wrong.” He has never been happier to be wrong. Spencer looks up, meeting Edwin’s eyes, he says, “Verdacchi’s restaurant.” Uncharacteristically, Spencer feels the need to tell Edwin about it. The man has an air around him that begs people to tell him their secrets. Edwin appears to be a willing and good listener. “It was our first date.”

Edwin glances in the rear view mirror. “Was it?”

“Yes.” He smiles, recalling their first date. Derek was right. After their first night together, he had been dreading the moment when it would hit Derek that being with a man, with Spencer, wasn’t what he wanted. Derek surprised him when he walked into Verdacchi’s unashamedly holding his hand. He didn’t hide that they were two men on a date. “Derek had never dated a guy before me. I was terrified he would freak out.”

“Did he?”

“Far from it. He was open about it being a date. Held my hand. He flirted with me in that outrageous way of his,” Spencer laughs remembering. “I know now that he did it deliberately to make me blush. It was easy to do back then.”

“Not anymore?”

“No. I did my share of blushing through the years but being with Derek got rid of that tendency. He’s a shameless flirt, my Derek. He used to flirt with every woman with a pulse, part of his charm, I suppose.”

“Not anymore?”

“No. Since we became a couple, he’s limited his flirty nature to me and his best friend, Penelope.”

Edwin glances back. “You don’t mind?”

Spencer shrugs. “It’s just how they are. The pair have been vastly inappropriate with each other as long as I have known them. Derek’s never had romantic feelings for her, although Pen did have a crush on him early on. That’s long past. It also helps that she’s one of the biggest supporters of our relationship. She’d be as heartbroken as we would be if we broke up.”

Before Edwin can respond, they arrive at their destination.

Walking into Verdacchi’s, he immediately spots his next clue giver. She turns around, lighting up like a Christmas tree, rushes over with her arms opens for a hug.

“My beautiful white chocolate!”

He accepts her hug. “Hi, Penelope.”

Pen pulls him over to her table. “Details, boy genius! I want details. Tell me everything that’s happened today.”

Spencer snorts in amusement at Penelope’s predictable excitement. She always wants to know the details. “It’s been special,” he admits. “I am surprised by how much Derek remembers. All the clues have been personal and sweet. It’s been truly great.”

“Can I read the clues? He has been very close-mouthed about them. No one has seen them.”

Shaking his head, Spencer says, “I’m afraid not.” The clues are intensely private and it doesn’t feel right to share them. Not yet, maybe never.

“I can’t change your mind?”

“No. The clues…” Spencer looks away in thought, “they are between Derek and I. That’s how they should stay.”

Penelope pouts in disappointment but doesn’t try to change his mind.

It isn’t the first time her desire for details has been denied and it won’t be the last. _*If she had her way, she’d have a live webcam of our bedroom.*_ Spencer shudders at the thought.

“As long as you’re happy…”

“I am happy, Pen.”

“Good.” Penelope sighs, resigned to the clues remaining a mystery.

“I do have something else that may make up for it,” Spencer hints.

Penelope’s eyes gleam with curiosity and excitement. “Spill!”

“You know how I’ve been planning to set Emily and Aaron up?”

“Of course, my matchmaking genius,” Pen says with a laugh. “You know I’m on the lookout for them. No prospects yet. It’d be easier if we could just set them up with each other.”

Smirking at her pout, Spencer says, “That would be a disaster of epic proportions.”

“I know. They would’ve had beautiful dark haired, dark eyed children though.”

Stifling a laugh, Spencer nods sagely.

“They aren’t meant to be,” Penelope adds sadly.

“They aren’t.” Personally, Spencer thinks Emily would have a better shot with Dave. Not that he believes that would work out either. They just wouldn’t be driven to kill each other like Aaron and Emily would. One of the team isn’t what Emily needs.

“Enough of that. What’s the news?”

Spencer grins. “It appears we may not have to find someone for Aaron. I saw him and Jack earlier. Jack let it slip that they were with someone.”

Pen squeals. “OMG! Is Boss Man finally getting some?!”

“I don’t know about that but he’s at the very least spending time with someone he wants to keep secret. Someone that he feels comfortable introducing Jack to. I have noticed he has seemed more relaxed lately,” Spencer admits.

“We’ll pry the truth out of him.”

Spencer shares a smile with her, both of them rubbing their hands together in glee. “Indeed, we will.” Now that he is clued in, Aaron’s secret won’t stay secret for long. If this person makes Aaron happy, he shouldn’t have to hide their relationship. It is all any of them want for him.

“I’d love to dive headfirst into uncovering Aaron’s secret lover’s identity with you but the rest of Derek’s hunt awaits. I better let you go. Derek has more planned for you.”

Spencer nods, knowing she’s right. “But once this is over, you and I are going to be all over it, deal?”

With a wicked grin, Penelope confirms, “Deal.”

She offers the envelope with the next clue. When he reaches out to take it, she pulls it back. Spencer looks at her questioningly, her serious expression is perplexing.

“Take care of him for me, okay?”

Despite his confusion, Spencer answers, “Always.” Derek is his everything.

“Good.” Penelope brightens and pats his cheek. “Go on, enjoy the rest of what Derek has planned for you.”

Although still wondering about her strange mood shift, Spencer takes the envelope nonetheless. “I will.” Taking one last scrutinizing look at his friend, he gets up and goes back to the car. All the while, he is furiously thinking about what brought on Penelope’s serious question. _*Why wouldn’t I take care of Derek? Haven’t we taken care of each other for years now? Why would I stop?*_

Spencer slips into the back of the car, taking no notice of Edwin opening the door for him. He chews on his lip, his mind full of questions.

**CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM**

Edwin sits quietly in the driver’s seat. His client, Reid, seems to be lost in his thoughts. He holds the next clue to his treasure hunt in his hand but for all the notice he gives it, the envelope might as well not be there. Reid appears to be puzzling something out; Edwin can only guess what that could be.

His heart aches a little at the memories this day has stirred up. Meeting Derek Morgan had started it. The man has full on stars in his eyes for Reid and from what he’s seen, Reid feels the same about Morgan.

Suppressing a sigh, Edwin allows his thoughts to wander where they want to go. Mel. He looks at Reid briefly. _*I wish Mel had lived to experience that kind of love.*_ Edwin will always regret not being there to stop Mel from committing suicide. _*No one should hate themselves so much because of who they love. If only I could have gotten her away from her parents and those fucking homophobes at school.*_ But he hadn’t and he can’t change that. Good came out of the tragedy though, Edwin has been active in LGBT community since Mel’s death. He’s helped others just like Mel, even going so far as to offer his home and fostering teens who have been kicked out. It can’t change what happened to her but Edwin thinks Mel would be proud of the people he’s helped in her name. He thinks it is what she would want him to do.

Hearing the sound of paper tearing, Edwin glances back to see Reid opening the next clue. He watches discreetly, Reid’s expressive face revealing his every emotion. Edwin hides a smile. Morgan is achieving what he desired with this day, making Reid feel special and loved. It’s written all over the young man’s face. Edwin feels honored to be a part of this; Mel would have loved it. It’s bittersweet though, he wishes Mel had been able to experience a love like Reid and Morgan have.

**CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM**

Spencer hasn’t figured out what motivated Penelope’s uncharacteristic serious question. He hopes something isn’t wrong. Her relationship with Mbizi has been going well, despite the repeated and violent threats to his life by each of the team. Mbizi is strong enough to accept the threats without running away scared. Spencer saw Mbizi the other day and he seemed really happy. _*I don’t think it’s Pen.*_

He tries not to let his mind go to dark thoughts. _*If something was wrong with Derek, he would have told me.*_ Spencer hadn’t noticed anything out of the ordinary with Derek. Thinking back, he realizes Derek was a bit nervous this morning but that was likely due to his planned treasure hunt.

Despite being disturbed by the unsolved mystery of the question, Spencer firmly pushes it from his mind. _*Derek planned this day special, just for me. I won’t ruin it by letting my worries run wild. If something is wrong, Pen or Derek will tell me. They know how much I despise secrets.*_

He lets the excitement build in his belly before he rips open the next envelope.

_As much as I love all the sweet moments we’ve shared,_

_I cherish the rough times even more._

_We’ve been through our share and it’s made us closer._

_Do you remember our first fight?_

_The both of us acting like idiots, defensive and angry._

_Too used to being alone and keeping everything inside._

_Neither of us had learned how to be us, instead of just Derek and Spencer._

_We learned though, despite our stubbornness._

_Makeup sex made it all worth it._

Spencer can practically see Derek’s leer. _*He’s right, though.*_ Derek isn’t the only one that looks forward to their makeup sex.

_Our secret would have been out a lot sooner if one of the team had seen us that first time._

_Not that either of us would have noticed._

Spencer bursts out in laughter. They really wouldn’t have. They were frantic to get each other naked.

_I was so needy for your bare skin, I thought I’d die._

_I didn’t care where we were or who could see._

_I just needed you._

He remembers it quite well. They were reckless in their need for each other, evident by their having hot, sweaty, frantic sex in the back of one of the suburbans in the airport parking lot. _*Catching us fucking would have been one way of letting the team know about us.*_ He can only imagine how embarrassed he would have been back then. Knowing Derek, he would have given one of his aw, shucks grins and said something about being unable to resist. By some miracle, no one saw them. _*We lucked out there.*_

_My craving for you, it hasn’t lessened._

_I want you as much now as I did then._

_*I know, Derek.*_ Spencer craves Derek just as much. No matter how many ways and times they come together, neither of them can get enough. It’s an addiction Spencer doesn’t mind having.

_I will always want you._

_Always need you._

_Always love you._

_My heart._

Blinking back tears, Spencer wonders how he managed to be blessed with a man as sweet as Derek. He loves deeply and is unashamed about it. Spencer clutches the note to his chest, his perfect memory allowing the words of each note to flow through his mind. Each of them a profession of Derek’s love for him. He is loved. Completely. Desperately. Unashamedly. Eyes closed, he whispers, “I love you, too, Derek. More than I thought possible.”

When Spencer looks up, he notices Edwin’s head is turned to the side as if giving him privacy. Thankful for the courtesy, he takes a moment to compose himself. Being loved as Derek loves him is overwhelming. In all the years he spent pining, Spencer never once thought Derek would love him back. Even in his wildest dreams, being with Derek long term was impossible. Yet, here they are years later, still together and still very much in love. His deepest, most hidden desire fulfilled every day by a man he loves more than life itself.

With every note, Spencer feels Derek’s love wrap around him. He treasures every reminder of their journey together. He doesn’t know how he can ever repay Derek for this day.

Spencer calls Edwin’s name and directs him to the airport. A smile settles on his face as he wonders who he will see next.

Edwin parks next to a car that looks suspiciously like his own. Sitting in the driver’s seat bobbing her head to the beat of blasting music is Desiree. She looks over and smiles. Desiree shuts off the car and gets out. She inclines her head in thanks when Edwin opens the back door for her and slides in.

“Des, what are you doing here?” Spencer is stunned to see her and accepts her quick, tight hug.

“Derek told me he was planning a special day for you and he asked me if I wanted to help. Of course I said yes.”

“You didn’t have to.”

Rolling her eyes, Desi says, “Yes, I did. You’re my brother in all but blood, Spencer. I like you better than I do Derek.” They both laugh, Desiree is always saying that, usually to aggravate Derek. “If you thought I was going to miss out on this special day, you don’t know me very well.”

“I’m glad you are here.”

“Me too, Spencer.” Desiree looks around slyly. “Now that Derek’s not around to stop us, let’s say we run away together.”

Spencer bursts out in laughter.

Crossed arms, Desiree tries to look offended.

Getting his giggling under control, Spencer does his best to look somber. “He’d just come after us. He would find us. Alas, we are destined,” he giggles again, then forces himself to sober, “to remain apart.” He bites his lip to suppress a giggle when Desiree dramatically lays her hand on his heart, her expression full of pretend sorrow.

“I will always love you, Spencer. We’ll be together,” she pats his heart and then hers, “in here.” Then she loses it and starts laughing.

Laughing, Spencer looks up and Edwin has a baffled expression on his face. It only makes him laugh harder.

Belly laughter turns to giggles, then whittles down to sporadic snickers. Spencer and Desiree hold their aching stomachs, cheeks hurting from laughing, and lean heavily against each other.

“I’ve missed you.”

“You wouldn’t miss me so much if you and Derek moved to Chicago.”

“Our lives are here,” Spencer answers simply. Derek’s family would love if they moved back to Chicago, especially since many of them live nearby, but they are happy in D.C. It is home for them both and as much as they love the Morgans, moving isn’t in their plans.

“Yeah, yeah,” Desiree says, rolling her eyes. It’s an answer she’s heard before. “So are you going to tell me why Derek sent me to an airport parking lot?”

_*Don’t blush. Do not blush.*_ Spencer meets Desiree’s eyes unflinchingly. “Derek didn’t say?”

“No. Blatantly refused.” Desiree takes out the envelope and waves it around, showing her annoyance at being left out.

“Is that for me?”

Des glares at his non-answer. “You’re not going to tell me either, are you?”

With an innocent smile, Spencer says, “Nope.”

Handing the envelope over, she grumbles to herself, “I knew I should have just opened it. Profilers and their stupid secret keeping.”

Spencer hides his smile. “How long did you try to sneak a peek before you gave up?” Her death glare is answer enough. If she could have figured out a way to read the note without getting caught, Desiree would have. Her curiosity would have to remain unfulfilled, however. Spencer is not telling her that his and Derek’s first makeup sex was in this parking lot, even if she would be weirdly eager enough to talk about it.

“Can I see the other notes?”

“No,” Spencer says apologetically. “They are special and just for me. Maybe some day, not today though.”

Desiree stares back, considering. She throws her hands up in disgust. “Gah, you’re impossible. How can I manipulate you into showing them to me when you say things like that?”

Spencer says nothing. She would likely fail if she tried, it’s a rather important trait of a profiler to be hard to manipulate.

Sighing, Desiree pats Spencer’s arm. “Enjoy today, okay?”

“I will,” Spencer promises easily.

“Good.” Hand on the door handle, she says, “I’ll see you later.”

“Are you staying for a few days?”

“Yeah.”

“Good. We’ll do something fun while you’re here.”

Desiree nudges Spencer playfully. “We sure will.” She turns to open the door but Edwin is there, opening it for her. She looks suitably impressed. “Smooth, very smooth of Derek to hire a chauffeur.”

Spencer’s lips twitch. “Yes.” He doesn’t enjoy driving and having Edwin drive him around makes the day all the more special. He feels pampered. It’s rather enjoyable.

Desiree waves and steps out. Popping her head back in the open door, she says, “I almost forgot. Derek said to say: “The happiest couples never have the same character. They have the best understanding of their differences.” Des smiles. “Very fitting of the pair of you.” She wiggles her eyebrows and adds, “Us too.”

Laughing, Spencer shakes his head as she leaves. She is something else. Refocusing on the hunt and Derek, Spencer fingers the envelope thoughtfully, barely registering the blaring sound of Desiree’s music as she starts up his car and drives away. He considers the quote, marveling at how fitting it is for them. He and Derek are opposites in many ways but they bring them closer instead of pushing them apart. They understand each other.

Opening the envelope, his eyes are drawn to Derek’s words with a fervor he can’t describe.

_We have been opposites since the moment we met._

_Beauty (that’s you, Pretty Boy) and the Beast (I guess that’s me)_

_It’s undeniable: we are different._

_We have different strengths and weaknesses._

_Different interests._

_We understand our differences._

_We fit; we always have._

_Like two oddly shaped puzzle pieces._

They do. They shouldn’t work but there is no denying they do. Different as night and day, physically, personality-wise, and in their hobbies. They don’t need to be the same to work.

_It doesn’t matter if we don’t like the same things._

_You support me and I support you._

_That’s why we work._

_Even when it means getting dragged to a busted up house,_

_You do it, because it matters to me._

_How awkward you looked, out of place but willing and excited,_

_Standing in the middle of a house that was stripped to the studs._

Spencer remembers it. He felt awkward, unsure of where to step or how to react. Remodeling house was light years away from his comfort zone. It brought him back to his younger days when he was confused and unsure of how to participate in athletics. Intellectually, he understands how it worked but getting his body to cooperate had always been a problem. The other kids always picked up on his insecurity and apprehension. The difference was Derek didn’t berate him for his ignorance or awkwardness like those kids did.

_I was proud to show it to you,_

_The blank canvas I was going to turn into something beautiful._

_I was practically beaming with pride_

_When I showed you how I had changed it._

_I love seeing The surprise and pleasure and pride on your face when you check out my work._

_It means the world to me to know you are proud of me._

He is proud of Derek and of the work he does rehabbing houses. He does incredible work, buyers love his houses. Derek pours his heart and soul into them. Flipping houses is the perfect therapy for Derek after hard cases, the physically exhaustive work empties his mind and his negative emotions.

Spencer has watched him work and it’s a beautiful sight. Derek is rather irresistible all sweaty and focused. A smirk stretches over his lips, remembering the times he couldn’t resist Derek. Watching Derek work can be quite...stimulating, which Derek never seems to mind. Rehabbing isn’t something Spencer will ever be capable of or enjoy, however, being taken against a wall or on the newly finished floor of one of Derek’s projects he definitely enjoys.

He directs Edwin to the first house Derek took him to.

Spencer exits the car, Edwin holding the door open. Lucas steps out of his own vehicle. “Hey Spencer.”

“Hi Luc.”

“Wilcox,” Lucas says in greeting.

Edwin inclines his head. “McWills. Thanks for the rec. This has been interesting.”

Luc’s lips turn up slightly. “Yeah, I bet.”

Edwin slaps Lucas on the back and then gets back in the car to give the other men privacy.

Lucas leans against his SUV and inspects the house. Spencer joins him, a little shiver going through him at the cold metal against his back. “Is this how you remember it?”

“Yes. The exterior hasn’t changed. I know the interior has some.”

“Derek said you know the owners.”

Spencer nods. “It’s Javier’s house, the one that teaches self-defense with Derek. He was one of the bodyguards put on Derek, when we...faked his death.”

Lucas doesn’t speak but presses the line of his body against Spencer’s in comfort.

Eyes closed, Spencer accepts the wash of emotions that come over him at remembering Derek’s faked death. It had felt too real, despite knowing he was alive and well, hidden from Kryupt. _*It could have ended differently. Derek could have died for real.*_ Spencer rubs his aching chest. The realization makes his heart hurt every time he thinks about it. Derek could have died, _would_ have if he hadn’t worn a vest. If Kryupt had shot him in the head, he would have been dead. _*But he didn’t and Derek is alive. Kryupt is dead and buried.*_

He won’t forget how close Derek came to dying and the fear of it happening again will forever remain in the back of his mind.

“Derek’s too smart to die like that. He has you to live for, it’s a powerful motivation.”

Derek is smart but that isn’t a guarantee he won’t be caught by surprise. Intelligence doesn’t best death, whether in the form of a bullet or a car crash. People die. The statistics don’t lie. Nearly two die every second, 105 a minute, 6,316 every hour, 151, 600 each day, 55.3 million each year. Spencer could drown himself in statistics; it would be easy. Yet, if he did, fear would rule his life. He would be too afraid to do anything and life would pass him by.

Spencer takes a deep fortifying breath. Fear won’t win. His knowledge won’t cripple him; he won’t let it. Spencer chooses to live life to the fullness because he knows that it could end at any moment for any of them. Every second, every minute, every hour, and every day he is gifted to spend with the people he loves, Spencer will cherish. Even when it ends.

“Spencer?”

The smile he gives Lucas is somewhat bittersweet. “I’m okay. Just...thinking. It’s hard, wondering if one day he won’t make it.”

Luc nods in understanding. “It’s hard on Josh sometimes. I don’t make him promises I can’t keep; I don’t tell him it can’t happen. I do promise him I’ll do everything in my power to come back to him.”

He and Josh have talked about it before. It was a relief to be able to share that fear with someone. He’s also talked to Jen about it and Derek has talked to Will. Jen and Will are in almost the same situation as he and Derek. All of them law enforcement that deal with violence and death on a daily basis. There is always a chance one of them won’t make it home. It’s an accepted, if not welcomed, part of their jobs.

“Derek loves you. He’s always going to fight to come back to you.”

Thinking of the notes, Spencer answers honestly, “I know.” Derek would fight the devil himself if it meant he could get back to him. Needing to change the subject, Spencer asks, “How did that house turn out?”

Lucas peeks at Spencer out of the corner of his eye. “House?”

“The one you helped Derek finish?”

Luc stares at the house in front of them. “It’s beautiful,” he says simply. “The owners...they will love it.”

“Derek said he would take me to see it soon.”

“Oh, he will,” Luc mumbles too quietly to be heard.

“What?”

Clearing his throat, he says clearly, “You’ll love it.”

Spencer scrutinizes Luc closely, sensing that wasn’t what he said. Predictably, Lucas gives nothing away. Spencer dismisses it as unimportant, at least for the moment. “Sorry Derek dragged you into this on your day off. You could have spent it with Josh.”

“Don’t apologize. This is important to Derek and to you, I am happy to help.”

“Plus, I imagine you’ll now be free to go see Josh. Where is he?” Spencer makes a show of looking around as if Josh was hiding behind a tree or something.

Lucas isn’t fooled, however. “Nice try.”

Laughing, Spencer gives it up. “No harm in trying.”

“Here.” Lucas passes over the envelope containing the next note. “Enjoy yourself.”

“I will. I am.”

“Good.” Lucas nudges him with his shoulder as a goodbye.

Spencer moves back to the car and waits for Edwin to open his door before sliding in. He briefly considers having Edwin follow Luc but decides against it. First, Luc is too well-versed in losing a tail. More importantly, Spencer doesn’t want to skip any of Derek’s notes. They are too valuable.

_Just as you support my interests, I support yours._

_I admit I felt a little dread at going to a museum with you,_

_But seeing your eyes lighting up with excitement made my reservations disappear._

_Watching you go from exhibit to exhibit,_

_Your eyes bright, your hands gesturing in excitement,_

_Your mouth spewing every fact your big brain holds._

_It is pure joy, every time_.

_And that includes the postal museum._

_Only you, Pretty Boy, could make a postal museum seem interesting._

_You make the best tour guide, mouthwatering eye candy brimming with knowledge._

_Strike that. Do not become a guide._

_No need to tempt people with your beautiful self and sexy, sexy brain._

_They might try to take you away from me._

_We can’t have that._

Spencer snickers. Only Derek would get jealous by simply thinking about a scenario.

_Use that beautiful brain of yours to discover where to go next._

_You’ll find the next clue among a Nobel Prize winner,_

_The first woman to win the Nobel Prize for Physiology or Medicine, unshared._

_See, I was listening._

Laughing, Spencer concedes he was. Who would have thought that was one of the facts Derek remembers? “The National Museum of American History.” He has no doubt Derek has been to more museums in the two plus years they’ve been together than he had in his entire life prior. Yet, Derek doesn’t complain. Spencer’s enjoyment may be one of the primary reasons Derek enjoys them. It doesn’t matter. Going to museums, Spencer is given free reign. He is never interrupted and told to stop. Instead, Derek encourages him to tell him every fact he knows about each exhibit they see. Spencer appreciates that more than he can say. And if he often acquires his own unofficial tour group, that’s a price he’s happy to pay. The laughter Derek often has in his eyes is only a bonus.

Despite how his constant spewing of facts is perceived, Spencer isn’t trying to be a know-it-all or talk down to anyone. Knowledge is his passion and it is nearly a compulsion to share it with others. Derek understands and makes an effort to give him uninterrupted opportunities to share his knowledge.

Spencer is excited, even though he won’t be able to spend the day in the museum. “Afternoon, Jackie,” he greets one of the security guards.

“Hey, Spencer.” As she searches him, she asks, “No Derek this time?”

Beaming, he says, “He made up a treasure hunt for me. This is the next place on the list.”

“You look like you’ve been enjoying it.”

Nodding, Spencer says with an easy smile, “It’s been special.”

Finished searching him, Jackie waves him through. “Enjoy yourself, then. Say hi to Derek when you see him.”

“Will do. Until next time.” Spencer waves and moves forward determinedly to the American Enterprise exhibit.

Standing right where he expects, in front of Barbara McClintock’s microscope, is Mi and Ryuu. Spencer shakes his head, marveling that Derek’s family traveled to D.C. just to help Derek with this treasure hunt for him. The day feels more special with them here. After the hunt is finished, Spencer hopes they have a get-together. He looks forward to spending time with everyone.

He greets the siblings with a hug. “Good to see you both. I can’t believe you came.” Ry came all the way across the country for him and Mi from Baltimore.

“Miguel wishes he could have come but,” Mi shrugs gracefully.

“I know.” Medical school does not allow for much down time. Spencer is the last person to expect Miguel to neglect his studies for him. Miguel is going to be an excellent doctor one day soon.

“Uncle Derek has gone all out for this hunt, even if he’s tight lipped about it. Quite the group he’s gathered.”

“Yes, quite. The team, Desiree, Lucas.” Not skipping a beat, he sneaks in, “Mama Fran, Sarah.”

Ryuu’s smile widens. “Nice try.”

“Derek told you the order.”

“Of course. He knows you’re sneaky and would try to manipulate us to get information.”

Spencer concedes Derek was smart to do so. His inquisitive nature drives him to solve mysteries, whether it’s a crime or a treasure hunt. “I hope Derek hasn’t forced you to stand here the whole time.”

Mi shakes her head. “We’ve been exploring.”

“Really?” Spencer says with a false lack of interest.

“Your chauffeur sent us a message.”

_*As I suspected, Edwin knows the destinations. I wonder if I can get anything out of him.*_ Knowing Derek as he does, he doubts he would trust Edwin if he wasn’t confident he could keep the information to himself. Being ex-military, especially Special Forces, Edwin would know how to keep a secret.

“So,” Ry points to the microscope Derek wanted them to wait at. “Why a microscope?”

“Are you aware of who Barbara McClintock was?”

“A scientist of some sort?” Ry guesses.

Spencer nods. “A scientist and cytogeneticist.”

Ry asks, “And that means what? The cyto part throws me off.”

“Cyto as in cells. Cytogenetics is a field of study which analyzes the number and structure of chromosomes. It could be human or animal. In Barbara McClintock’s case, she studied maize.”

“Corn?” Mi asks, startled.

Ryuu laughs. “Corn? Corn is what got her microscope here?”

Spencer answers simply, “Yes. She made groundbreaking discoveries in genetics by studying maize. She demonstrated the phenomenon of chromosomal crossover, which increases genetic variation in species. McClintock improved staining techniques, which allowed her to see chromosomes under the microscope better than anyone before her had been able to. Her improved techniques are what helped her and Harriet B. Creighton, a graduate student, prove the existence of chromosomal crossover in 1931.”

He checks the two, seeing curiosity and interest in their eyes. “She also discovered transposition.” Spencer glances between the two before continuing, “That is genes moving about within chromosomes, often described as jumping genes. She showed that genes are responsible for switching the physical traits of an organism on or off. McClintock was the first woman to win the Nobel Prize for Physiology or Medicine, unshared.”

Mi says, “Wow, I wonder if Miguel has studied her before in one of his classes.”

“He should have at some point.”

“Fascinating, what year did she win the Nobel Prize?”

“1983. She was eighty-one.”

Ryuu looks at the microscope, appearing impressed by McClintock’s intelligence and achievements. “It couldn’t have been easy for her to be a scientist and a woman.”

“No, I imagine not,” Spencer admits.

Mi says with a smile, “An admirable woman.”

The three stare at McClintock’s microscope for a second, then Ryuu nudges them into moving. “Why did Derek pick her? Not that I don’t believe she is significant,” he explains.

“Derek and I have been here many times. As you can tell, I can revert into lecture mode here. He was showing me he does listen when I lecture,” Spencer says wryly.  

Mi smiles. “We listen. We may not always understand what you’re saying but we listen.”

Derek’s family do listen the majority of the time. They make an effort not to interrupt or hush him and Spencer appreciates it. Listening to his factual rants can be trying at times but getting the information out makes him feel better. It’s one of his quirks and Derek’s family is good enough to accept him and his oddities with little fuss. “I appreciate it.”

Ryuu pats Spencer’s back. “At least I can learn information from your ranting quirk, I don’t learn anything with Michael and Isiah’s obsession with sports. I could not care less about the stats those two blab about whenever they are together.”

Agreeing with her brother, Mi nods. “They keep trying to corrupt Miguel with their sports obsession.” She shakes her head. “I pray they don’t succeed. How they remember all those statistics is beyond me.”

“They don’t have the excuse of an eidetic memory like you,” Ry says, jabbing his head in Spencer’s direction. “One of my coworkers is a sports fanatic, football especially. She’s originally from Texas and follows her teams diligently. She knows statistics from before she was born.”

Spencer has his share of obsessions, mostly academic; he isn’t one to judge. “Having an interest in something makes a difference in how you learn and store memory. If it is important to you, storing and remembering information concerning the interest is also important.”

Ryuu and Mi nod in understanding. They both have interests which are important to them that they enjoy sharing with like-minded people.

Walking through the corridor, Spencer stops when Mi and Ry do. He watches them check out the items on display. “I should let you get back to your tour. The museum has many fascinating artifacts.”

Mi offers him the next clue. “Here.”

“I hope I’ll see you before you leave.”

“We’ll make time,” Mi promises.

Ry adds, “I’m not about to spend vacation in D.C. without spending some more time with my favorite uncle.”

“It doesn’t have quite the same effect when Derek’s not here to get his back up.”

“He should know you’re my favorite by now. Smart and pretty, the total package,” Ryuu says with a wink.

Mi rolls her eyes, nudging her brother. “Stop flirting, Ry. It’s pathetic.”

“Can’t I admire beauty, my dear sister?”

“Or you could stop flirting with our uncle’s partner and find your own,” Mi shoots back dryly.

“But it’s so fun!”

Holding up the envelope, Spencer gives a little wave. “I’ll see  you both later.” Walking away, he hears them continue to squabble playfully as siblings seem to do. He’s seen it a lot among Derek’s family; remarkably, he’s even done it a bit with Desiree from time to time. It is still strange for Spencer sometimes, to realize he has siblings and an extensive family unit. Derek has expanded his world exponentially; the Morgan side has embraced him as one of their own and he loves each one of them.

Back in the car, he tears open the envelope and reads.

_My beautiful, delicious sweet tooth,_

_I’ve never known anyone who craves sugar as much as you,_

_Not even my nieces and nephews._

_How your teeth remain healthy and sparkling white, I’ll never know._

_How absolutely oblivious I was about my true feelings for before we got together._

_The time I spent getting your sugar to coffee ratio correct should have been a glaring clue._

_Some profiler I am; I guess I didn’t want to see it._

_Thank God I’m not that oblivious anymore._

_What a sweet deal I have._

_The sweetest, most loving, loyal, and wonderful man._

_I have a special treat waiting for you, my sweet,_

_At a place that might as well be yours with how fervently you promote it._

“Yes!” Spencer shouts, causing Edwin to jump in surprise. “Onto Sugar Rush!” He wiggles in his seat, imagining which sweet treat is waiting for him. “Have you been there before?”

“No, sir. I have not.”

“Don’t call me sir, Edwin. Spencer is fine. Or at least doctor,” he jokes.

Edwin’s lips twitch. “Yes, Dr. Spencer.”

Spencer settles back in his seat. “Dr. Spencer, I rather like that.” Refocusing, he vows, “You will love it. Sugar Rush is my favorite bakery; I’ve had everything on the menu in addition to items that are off the menu.”

“I’m not much on sweets.”

Spencer gapes at Edwin like he just admitted to murdering helpless puppies. “You don’t like sweets,” he repeats in shocked horror.

“Is that a deal breaker? Should I turn the car around and find you another driver?” Edwin asks with a hint of amusement.

“As a man with a serious sweet tooth, it just might be. I wouldn’t push it, Edwin.”

“Of course not, Dr. Spencer.”

“I’m deeply disappointed,” Spencer says gravely, “but luckily enough for you, they have savory options as well for the occasional weirdo like yourself.”

Edwin responds dryly, “How fortunate.”  

“You will come in. You’ll love them.”

The threat, mild though it may be, does not go unnoticed. “I’m certain I will.”

Spencer eyes him suspiciously, fully prepared to defend Sugar Rush. No one dares disparage his beloved bakery, not in his presence.

His stomach rumbles, wondering what delicious treat will be waiting for him. Seeing the storefront, Spencer fights the urge to leap out of the still moving vehicle and rush inside. The bakery brings out the eager kid in him and Spencer has to remind himself to act like a civilized adult. However, being the adult he is, if he decides to put a little skip in his step, that’s his prerogative.

At the door, Spencer waves Edwin in. “Come on, come on, I want my sweet!” He barely resists shoving his chauffeur into the bakery.

“Spencer, welcome,” Jared says.

“Hey, Jared.”

Upon hearing his name, Jamie comes out of the back. “Spencer!”

“Jamie!”

Neither Jamie nor Jared fits the image of a stereotypical baker. Both could easily pass for a tattoo artist or member of a punk band. Jamie has a short cap of hair, dyed blueberry this time, several facial piercings, and the majority of her exposed skin is covered in tattoos. Jared has a short mohawk dyed no longer red but light gray, in his ears are medium-sized black plugs, and tattoos cover his exposed arms and peak out from the collar of his shirt.

“Jamie, Jared, meet Edwin. He’s my driver for the day,” Spencer says cheerfully. “They are the owners and head bakers of Sugar Rush.”

“Nice to meet you both,” Edwin greets respectfully.

Spencer says scornfully, “Edwin has confessed to me he doesn’t like sweets.”

Jared chuckles. “And still you live? Spencer must like you.”

Spencer sniffs haughtily.

“I did offer to find another driver,” Edwin clarifies sagely. “I fear if your bakery did not have savory options, he would have taken me up on my offer.”

Jamie smirks. “We’re happy to be of service. You have a couple of choices today: sun-dried tomato and Asiago cheese scone or red pepper and parmesan cheese cupcake?”

“The scone sounds delicious.”

“Here you are, I hope you enjoy.”

Edwin takes it from Jared. Conscious of Spencer’s eager attention, he takes a tentative bite. Savory flavor bursts on his tongue and he nearly moans. Edwin can practically feel Spencer’s smug pride at his reaction. “It’s delicious, truly.” He can’t resist taking another bite.

Jared and Jamie smile at the compliment. “Thank you.”

“How much do I owe you?”

Jared waves him off. “It’s on the house. Seeing Spencer’s smugness is payment enough for today.”

“Told you,” Spencer gloats, rubbing his hands together like a super-villain gloating at his dastardly plan coming to fruition. “Now for my payment.” He arches his eyebrow pointedly.

“You wouldn’t rather have the clue first?” Jamie teases.

As much as Spencer loves Derek’s notes, what he wants at this moment is his decadent treat. “I think you know the answer to that.”

“That I do.” Jamie ducks into the back and comes out carrying a beautiful cupcake on a plate.

Spencer’s eyes light up and his pink tongue sneaks out to lick his lips in anticipation.

“May I present to you a dark chocolate cupcake with coffee ice cream and dark chocolate ganache on top.”

Spencer wiggles his fingers in a gimme motion and Jamie passes the plate to him with a smile. He stares at it, devouring its beauty with his eyes. Spencer picks it up and takes a bite, moaning at the taste. Chocolate and coffee are a pair made in heaven, having the coffee in ice cream form only makes it better. “Oh, sweet Einstein, that hits the spot.”

Jared, Jamie, and Edwin look at each other and mouth “Sweet Einstein?” to each other.

Spencer pays them no mind, savoring each bite of the delicious, delicious confection.

Jared turns away from Spencer and asks Edwin, “How has he been enjoying the treasure hunt?”

Fascinated by the sheer joy Spencer exudes devouring the cupcake, Edwin answers distractedly, “His enjoyment of the hunt appears to be comparative to that,” pointing at Spencer. “Although more sentimental than pleasurable.”

Familiar with the unmatched pleasure Spencer receives from their sweets, Jared and Jamie pay him no mind.

Edwin leans over the counter and whispers, “Is he always like that?”

“Yup.”

With the last bite, Spencer reluctantly leaves delicious Sugar Rush land. He licks his lips clean of chocolate, savoring the last taste of the heavenly cupcake. “You’ve outdone yourselves, that was beyond divine.”

“You can thank Jared, it’s his creation.”

“Thank you from the bottom of my sugar addicted heart.”

“You’re quite welcome.”

Looking between his two favorite bakers, a sly smile forms on Spencer’s pink lips. “What say the three of us run off together?”

Jamie rolls her eyes. “Oh, please, as if I’m sharing Jared with you.”

“Thank you, Dear. It’s for the best, Spencer. My wife, your Derek, it really wouldn’t be pretty.”

Spencer pouts, focused on having two bakers at his beck and call. “I suppose you’re right.”

“You’re always welcomed here though. You are our favorite and most loyal customer, better than our own families in fact.”

Perking up, Spencer chirps, “I am, aren’t I?”

“We’d be lost without you and all the customers you bring in.”

Spencer swaggers a bit with pride. “True, very true indeed.”

“Customers like your dear needs to get laid boss.” Jamie smirks. “But then maybe he’s already taken care of that part.”  

Gaze sharpening on the implication, Spencer accuses suspiciously, “You know something. I know Aaron has found someone; Jack almost let it slip but Aaron stopped him. Spill it.”

Jamie shrugs. “Not exactly my news to tell. I _may_ have seen him here with someone though. I won’t say more than that.”

Spencer’s sharp eyes move to Jared, who holds up his hands in surrender. “I wasn’t here. I know nothing.”

He turns back to Jamie but she merely smirks back at him like a mischievous fairy. Jamie is a tough nut to crack when it comes to secrets and while he could do it eventually, Spencer doesn’t have time for it now. “Can you at least tell me if he looked happy?”

Jamie’s expression turns contemplative, remembering when she saw Aaron with the person in question. “He looked…” she searches for the correct word, “captivated.”

He’s never seen Aaron captivated by anyone before, not even Haley, and imagining it brings a smile to his lips. No one except Jack and that was for an entirely different reason. Spencer nods firmly, he can be satisfied with that, at least for the moment. Plus, he will get the details out of Aaron soon enough, he can’t hide his captivating new beau for long. Not from their team, especially since Spencer knows the person exists. If he has to play dirty, he will. Spencer will feel slightly guilty if he has to trick Jack into talking but desperate times call for desperate methods. _*Or I could sic Penelope on him. I love her but she takes to stalking someone with far too much ease.*_ “I look forward to finding—” Spencer stops and corrects himself, “I mean, meeting the person who has Agent No Smile captivated.” _*If Aaron’s person turns out acceptable and we don’t have to scare or otherwise maim or kill her—or possibly him, I can move onto dear Emily.*_

Edwin watches Spencer warily, the expression on his face makes him nervous.

“Don’t worry, Spencer’s just scheming. I doubt you are his target,” Jared reassures him. “Everyone gets a little freaked out the first time they see him like this. It’s the whole innocent thing he’s got going for him. It makes it jarring to see his mischievous slash evil side.”

With a slight shudder, Edwin agrees, “It’s a bit disturbing.”

“Spencer,” Jamie barks.

He jerked, startled out of his thoughts. “What?”

Her eyes point to Edwin. “You’re freaking him out.”

“Oh,” Spencer’s golden eyes lose their determined edge. “Sorry.”

Jamie holds up the envelope Derek gave her. “Did you want this before you get lost in your own world again?”

Spencer mumbles, “I will crush you.”

“What was that, Sweetie?” Jamie asks sweetly.

Not wanting to risk his access to Sugar Rush’s deliciousness, he lies, “I want a cookie.”

“Nice try, Honey.”

“No cookie?” Spencer inquires, giving her huge sad eyes.

Jamie stares him down like she does her adorable but mischievous young daughter. “No cookie.” She hands over the envelope. “Here, take it and get going. Don’t keep the rest of your clue people waiting any longer than they have to.”

“Fine,” Spencer says, a little put out at the lack of cookie. “Let’s get out of here, Edwin.”

“Nice to meet you both. Thanks for the scone. Is it a regular on your menu?”

Jared shakes his head. “We switch the savory options every day. A little variety never hurt anybody.”

“I’ll have to come back then, to check out what else you are offering.”

“Damn straight you will,” Spencer scoffs. Sugar Rush isn’t a place where you go just once.

Edwin hangs back a second. “He’s obsessed with this place.”

“Yeah, we know. We have to stay open because we’re afraid if we don’t he’ll kidnap us and force us to make him treats for the rest of his life,” Jared jokes.

Jamie shrugs. “I wouldn’t put it past him. Derek might be able to save us though.”

Edwin chuckles nervously, unsure if they really are joking or not. He hurries out and quickly opens Spencer’s door for him. He’s thankful Spencer doesn’t appear put out by having to wait for a few seconds while he’d been in the bakery. Other clients would have fired him for the delay. Although other clients don’t bully him into entering a shop with him, not unless they want to try to turn him into a sherpa to carry their bags. Edwin settles into the driver’s seat a little unnerved by his experience in Sugar Rush. Spencer has more facets to him than he first thought.

Oblivious to Edwin’s inner turmoil, Spencer opens the next clue.

_I never minded sleeping alone, I used to prefer it._

_Until you._

_Your soft warmth snuggled against me._

_Before everyone knew about us,_

_I hated sleeping without you next to me during cases._

_You were so close but out of my reach._

_My arms felt empty without you in them._

_I confess all those times Pen said we had to double up before the others found out,_

_She was lying._

_Penelope set it up for me._

“Of course she did.” Spencer isn’t surprised. He thought it was suspicious at the time but decided to let it go. Being able to sleep beside Derek was enough to deter him from rocking the boat. Once the whole team knew, pretending they weren’t sharing a bed was no longer an issue. Being able to share a bed has gotten them through a lot of cases, it’s made them better profilers and agents. It a de-stressor for them both.

_If Hotch ever suspected, he never said anything._

Knowing Aaron, he must have at least wondered at the sudden need to double up every time they needed to stay overnight. _*Maybe he saw staying together made Derek and me more relaxed.*_ He hadn’t known their relationship was more than friendship, not yet. Aaron likely perceived them staying together as bonding time and it was, just not the way he thought.

_It wasn’t just on the road that I missed you next to me._

_I didn’t tell you until that day but home never felt like home without you._

_Every time you went back to your apartment,_

_The house felt empty as it never had before._

_I was lonely and hated every moment of it._

_*Honeymoon phase,*_ Spencer thinks. They skipped right from friends to the honeymoon phase.

_Worse, I was scared shitless of asking you to live with me._

_I don’t even know why._

_You loved me, I loved you._

_You practically lived with me as it was._

_You knew something was up, how could you not?_

_I was sweating like a criminal under Hotch’s intense glare for no apparent reason._

_I don’t know if I would have gotten it out that night without you confronting me._

_Smooth went out the window and I just blurted it out._

_Could you see how scared I was? And the hope behind it?_

_Those seconds waiting for your answer felt like an eternity._

_I can still hear it._

_Yes. Yes, I’ll move in with you._

“Hemphill Fine Art gallery,” Spencer tells Edwin distractedly. Then, he focuses on the memories the note provokes.

Derek had been weird that night. Inexplicably antsy. At first, Spencer thought it was for Josh as it was a major show for his art. Yet, he didn’t relax after it was clear Josh’s show was well received. Derek’s nerves made him nervous and he started anticipating the worse. Everything between them had gone better than he thought possible; he feared it was the moment his bubble would be popped. He thought Derek was going to break things off. It would have been a good time, in public where Spencer would fight against revealing his heartbreak and with his good friends, Josh and Lucas, nearby to comfort him.

Spencer was certain. He wanted to get it over with and confronted Derek, demanding to know what was wrong. Then Derek blurted out, “Will you move in with me?” Spencer felt like he’d been struck by lightning. To realize Derek wasn’t breaking up with him but wanted to live together as a couple made him feel faint with shock. Only one answer came to mind: yes.

His apartment wasn’t home anymore. Home was with Derek and Clooney. It didn’t hurt that Derek’s house was larger and that meant more space for books.

The next weekend, Derek wrangled their friends for a moving in party. His apartment was quickly cleared out by the team, Josh, and Luc. Spencer left his furniture and sublet the apartment until his lease was up. Jamie and Jared brought over goodies for the party.

Adding his things to Derek’s was an experience for them both. Derek found out the true extent of his personal library. Some things were added into Derek’s house effortlessly, others were a bit harder. Nonetheless, they figured it out and created a home that wasn’t Derek’s or Spencer’s but theirs.

Edwin opening the car door pulls Spencer out of his memories and he steps out. Walking in, he isn’t surprised to find both Josh and Lucas perusing the art on display. Luc notices him first, predictably. Josh turns when he feels a new presence beside him. His expression quickly switches from annoyed to welcoming. “Spencer!” Josh hugs him affectionately as he tends to do. “You’re finally here.”

“I am.” Spencer examines the piece in front of them.

“We’ve been checking out the competition.”

“Find anything good?”

Josh shrugs. Lucas nudges him and he huffs in response. “Fine. _Some_ of the art is acceptable.”

“You’re such a jealous snob.”

Josh sniffs haughtily. “I am an art- _teest_ , my friend. I’m supposed to be a petty snob.”

Spencer rolls his eyes. “Your snobby artist persona never gets old, does it?”

Going back to normal, Josh says cheekily, “Nope.” He leans close. “It gets Luc hot, he loves it.”

Spencer leans forward to catch a glimpse of Lucas. He detects amusement, no arousal though.

“Oh please, you don’t think I meant here, did you?” Josh says, shaking his head. “My beloved soldier boy _loves_ role play.”

“Just me, Joshua?”

Spencer’s eyes dart between the pair. Lucas looms over Josh, dark and intense. As it has many times before, Josh’s natural cockiness stills at the sight. Like a prey animal frozen by the presence of a predator, Josh stands there mesmerized.

It never fails to fascinate him, the way Lucas can stop his cocky, chatty husband with a stare and a bit of looming.

Lucas chuckles darkly, whispering barely loud enough for Spencer to hear, “Nothing quite like watching the pompous snobbery melt into a needy, begging creature, craving nothing more than my touch.”

Josh lets out a tiny whimper, his hands instinctively going to clutch at Luc’s shirt.

Spencer doesn’t need to see his eyes to know Josh’s are dark with lust. No one winds him up like Luc, he knows all his buttons.

Lucas leans down, their lips a breath’s distance apart.

“Kiss me,” Josh begs softly, Luc’s breath teasing over his lips.

Luc brushes his thumb across Josh’s bottom lip and Josh’s tongue swipes at it. He holds his chin still, his eyes flicking over to Spencer. “It’s too easy to turn this snob wanton.” Then Lucas straightens.

Josh’s breath stutters in disappointment at the lack of kiss. In a flash, he’s angry and snaps, “Fucker.” He straightens his clothing unnecessarily, trying to calm his racing heart.

Hand over his mouth, Spencer tries to stifle his snickering.

“I’ll get you back for that,” Josh threatens, stabbing a finger at Lucas.

Luc’s blue eyes darken and he smirks. “I’m counting on it.”

Swings around to point at Spencer, Josh growls, “And you, stop laughing at me, you jerk.”

“You melted like ice cream in the desert,” Spencer says, giggling.

Josh stands up to his full, if unimpressive, height of 5’5” and challenges, “Like you do when Derek turns his eyes on you?”

With a dreamy smile, Spencer says, “Yup.”

Josh throws his hands up in disgust. “Can’t you even pretend to be a little embarrassed about that?”

“Nope. I’m pretty much immune today. You would be too if you were reading all the sweet things Derek wrote for me,” Spencer chirps unapologetically.

“Fine.” He pulls out the envelope and shoves it into Spencer’s hand. “Take this.” Josh grabs Luc’s shirt in a tight grip. “We are leaving.” He starts dragging Lucas away, who follows without a fight.

Spencer can’t hear everything Josh mutters as he leaves but he does hear something about them needing to find a place where Josh can blow Luc, as well as complaints about having to kneel on some dirty floor.

They quickly disappear from sight, Lucas being pulled along like a puppy. Spencer shakes his head. _*I don’t think that was part of Derek’s plan. Let’s hope they don’t get caught.*_ Pushing them from his mind, Spencer goes back to the waiting car. His focus is on the envelope and Spencer opens it quickly.

_Do you know how much I love watching you with Mama?_

_She spent a lifetime prodding me to find someone special._

_I don’t imagine she thought I’d ever find anyone._

_I found that person in you._

_You’re more special than you realize._

_Mama sees it, too._

_She absolutely adores you and you adore her back._

_The two most important people in my life,_

_It means everything that you love each other._

_You support each other, you are family._

_It’s hard to think this, much less write it,_

_But I know if the worst happens,_

_Mama will be there right beside you._

_She won’t let you go on alone._

Emotion chokes him, memories of the fake funeral they put on for Kryupt rise up. Mama Fran had been there, right beside him, holding him as he cried. It wasn’t real but to Spencer, it felt real, like Derek was in the wooden box in front of him. It’s been burned into his mind, an image for his nightmares. Mama had been the only thing keeping him together; without her, he doubts he could have made it through, despite knowing Derek was alive and hidden.

“Spencer?”

Unaware of the tears wetting his cheeks, Spencer looks up. Edwin is twisted to the side, his eyes full of concern. “Are you okay?”

Spencer feels the paper held in his fingertips and looks down. Several tears have distorted the paper. He sets the note aside to protect it. Spotting a tissue box, Spencer grabs a few and wipes his face. “I’m okay. Just remembering.”

“Are you sure? I could call your friend.”

Appreciating the thoughtfulness, Spencer tries to smile but it’s more of a wince. “I’ll be okay.” Edwin’s answering expression is clearly skeptical but Spencer is too consumed by the idea of losing Derek to care. Nothing makes him more terrified than that. Not even the thought of his own death or relapsing.

Spencer glances over at the note and sees:

_Please stop, Baby._

_I know what you’re thinking and I’m sorry to bring up bad memories._

_It wasn’t real, despite how real it felt to you._

_If I can help it, it won’t be real until we’re old and gray._

_I love you until the end of time and beyond._

_Nothing could separate us and nothing will._

_Not even death._

_Remember Mitch Albom’s words:_

_“Death ends a life, not a relationship.”_

_I’ll still be yours and you’ll still be mine._

_Earth, Heaven, wherever._

_And Mom and Mama will love us both._

Spencer never imagined someone would love him as absolutely as his mother does. He was wrong. Derek and Mama Fran love him as much as his mother does. He’s never alone with their love in his heart.

_You’ll never be alone._

_My love will always be with you._

_Mom and Mama’s love, too._

Even with tears in his eyes, Spencer smiles. His thoughts are echoed in Derek’s words.

_Let Mama hug you, wipe away the tears and your fears._

_Bask in the warmth of her love, Pretty Boy._

_She’s waiting for you._

“The Hamilton.”

Edwin hesitates a second, emotion still thick in Spencer’s voice. He knows Morgan’s mother is next and can only hope she can comfort him. Little sniffles are the only sound Spencer makes the entire ride to The Hamilton. Edwin’s glad he called Mrs. Morgan after Spencer went inside Hemphill gallery. She’ll be ready and waiting for him.

Unsettled, Edwin parks and gets out. Spencer is sedate when he opens the door for him. Edwin escorts him inside, needing to make sure he’ll be okay when he leaves him.

Spencer suddenly runs forward, almost launching himself into an older woman’s arms. “Mama.”

Fran wraps her arms around him. “Shh, my baby boy. It’s okay.” Derek warned her Spencer would be emotional after the note. Fran rocks him comfortingly.

Edwin fades away silently, leaving the pair in the semi-private room.

“Let it out, my boy,” Fran coaxes.

In Mama’s arms, Spencer does. Crying for the memory of the funeral and for the possibility of a funeral in the future. “I don’t want to live without him, Mama.”

“I know, baby.”

Like he is a child, her comforting hand strokes his hair. If he closes his eyes, Spencer can remember his mother doing the same when he was a child. “I love him. I don’t want to lose him. How can I live without him?”

“I know. It isn’t easy to live without the man you love. When Hank died, I had the same thoughts. I was in shock and felt lost. I thought to myself, how can I go on without him? It felt impossible. Hank was the love of my life and I never wanted anyone else.”

Spencer shudders, imagining himself in her place. He could be her someday.

“I didn’t want to go on without him but I didn’t have any choice. I had to think of our children, of Sarah and Derek; I had to think about Desiree growing inside me. Without the support of my family and his family, I don’t know if I could have endured the pain and loss I felt with his death. They along Hank’s work family helped to give me time to grieve and to lessen my stress. They were there when I needed them.”

How hard it must have been for her. Pregnant with two children, one of them traumatized by seeing his father senselessly murdered in front him. _*I don’t know how she got through it.*_

“I won’t lie and tell you it was easy, especially when people would make judgments about my family and about Hank.”

Surprised by the hardness in Fran’s face, he asks, “What do you mean?”

“I was a White woman with Black looking children and no father in sight. People were always whispering about me or the kids or Hank. I could take the judgments about me but badmouthing my children or my Hank? That was another story. The first time I heard people gossiping about how Hank was some deadbeat dad, I exploded. I couldn’t take it and I ripped into them as only a furious, grieving person in love can. They didn’t know him and had no right to judge him. He was a hero.”

Spencer closes his eyes and embraces Mama tightly. He never met Hank but he knows he was a good man, a loving husband and father. It must have been devastating to hear Hank’s memory smeared by some random stranger’s judgments. “It wasn’t right or fair.” Spencer remembers how much it hurt to hear the too loud whispers about his mom. The cruelty of it, he will never forget.

“No but some people only find joy in putting others down. They find it easy to judge people they don’t know.”

“Limited knowledge is where judgment occurs.”

“That it is, son.” Taking a deep breath, Fran admits, “I had to learn not to react for my own good, otherwise I’d have become bitter and hateful.”

Spencer understands her mentality. “It was hard to hear people talk about Mom, judge her for her illness. At times, other people’s words got to me. Made me feel ashamed of her, which made me feel overcome with guilt.” Fran doesn’t speak, her touch offering him silent comfort. “I’ll never forget what she said to me one day. She looked at me and said, ‘I know it’s been hard for you, watching me deteriorate. Yet, even during my worst days when I’m disoriented and belligerent, one thing never changes. I love you more than air, more than all the literature in the world. You are my greatest success.’”

“And you are, Spencer.”

“I know and she’s the reason I am who I am. It doesn’t matter what people say about her anymore. I love her and nothing they can say will change that.”

Fran smiles, “Good. Things may have been hard, for us both, but we came out stronger. You have your mother’s strength inside you and I have Hank’s.”

“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls. The massive characters are seared with scars.”

Fran smiles. “There’s truth in that. For the strongest people I know have suffered greatly.”

“Like you and Derek.”

“And you. You have such a beautifully strong and pure soul, Spencer.”

The soft words are like a balm to the scars of his soul. He has endured much in his life and few saw the strength inside him that kept him going through it all.

Fran’s eyes go soft and contemplative. “I still miss him today. I love him as much as I did the day he died and I always will.” Fran lifts her hand and the light bounces off her gold wedding band. “I’ve never taken it off, not once in all these years. He is my husband and the only I’ll ever love.” The pain of his loss will remain with me for the rest of my life but I see him every time I look at Sarah or Derek or Desiree. I see him in my grandbabies.”

_*What reason would I have to go on?*_ Fran had the children she and Hank created as a permanent representation of their love. He has nothing.

“Spencer, look at me.”

Clinging to his stubborn resistance, he refuses. He doesn’t want to see or hear what she has to say.

“Please, Spencer.”

The plea hits him like only a mother’s can. Concerned brown eyes, much like Derek’s, stare compassionately at him. “Derek and I don’t have any children. I’ll be alone.”

“You’ll never be alone, baby. Never. You’ll have us, me, your mom, Desiree, Sarah, Aki, and the kids. We will help you, grieve with you, support you. Always, no matter what happens.”

Spencer feels as if he can’t breathe, fear and sorrow squeeze his throat. Then he remembers a Mario Puzo quote: _The strength of a family, like the strength of an army, is in its loyalty to each other._ Their loyalty is a certainty he can count on no matter what comes.

“Derek will do everything in his power to stay with you, just as you will do the same for him. Do not spoil the time you have together, however long that may be, by your worries.”

“I know.” Neither of them will give up without a fight.

“I’m here, anytime you need to talk, Spencer. Day or night. Any of us are.”

Spencer exhales, his body sagging as his lungs deflate. Unable to speak, he answers her promise with a nod.

A clean tissue in hand, Fran offers softly, “Come on, let’s wipe away those tears.” With gentle strokes, she cleans his face.

The warmth from her hands on his cheeks soaks into his skin.

“Try not to borrow trouble, Spencer.”

Nodding, Spencer says resigned, “I know. I’ll try.” If he lets it, his fear of losing Derek could consume his entire existence. He could lose out on time with Derek and miss opportunities to create lasting memories with him. “It’s good to see you, Mama.”

“You too, Spencer.”

“I’m sorry I soaked you with my tears.”

Fran shakes her head in amused exasperation. “Dear heart, you don’t need to be sorry. It’s only tears, my shirt will dry. Anyway, Derek warned me this last note would be emotional for you and bring up difficult memories like almost losing him. He considered rewriting it but couldn’t. Derek said his words were from the heart, even if they provoked painful memories.”

“I remembered that day, the fake funeral and it hurt to remember. Mama, it hurt bad.”

“I know, son. I know.”

Pretending her son was dead had to be as hard as pretending his lover was killed. “How did you do it?”

“I did it because I had to. It was to catch that man and protect both you and Derek.”

“It must have been hard, harder for you than for me.”

Fran shakes her head baffled. “Why would it be harder for me? I know how much you love Derek.”

“Because of Hank. Didn’t it remind you of his funeral?”

“You are too perceptive for your own good sometimes, son.” Fran sighs. “Yes, it reminded me of Hank’s funeral and it was hard. I pray I never have to go through that again. I don’t ever want to bury a child of mine.” It’s every parent’s fear. “When you and Derek get around to giving me some grandbabies, you’ll know that feeling as well.”

The more he and Derek talk about children, the more real it seems.

“Speaking of grandbabies…”

Spencer smiles at the unsubtle hint. “We’re talking about it.”

“Talking isn’t laying a grandbaby in my arms.”

“We hope soon.”

“Good.” Fran cups his pretty face, placing a chaste, motherly kiss on his soft pink lips. “You and Derek are going to be amazing parents. I can’t wait to see it. You both have much love to give.”

Spencer smiles shyly. “I hope you’re right about us.” He wonders how many frantic calls they’ll make to her when they freak out as first-time parents tend to do.

Fran waves off his concern. “Course I am.”

How she can be utterly confident Spencer can’t understand. The closer they get to having children, the more worried he becomes. He doesn’t want to be like his father, he wants to be the kind of dad a child can count on through thick and thin.

“No worrying today, son. Derek planned this day special for you, enjoy it. Worries can wait.”

“You’re right.” He wants to remember this day with fondness.

“Here.” Fran hands over the next note.

He gratefully accepts the envelope and her warm, parting embrace. Walking back to the car, Spencer takes Fran’s words to heart. Worries have no place in the special day Derek’s planned for him. Feeling centered again, Spencer pushes aside his worries. Nothing will taint this special day Derek planned for him.

_Did you ever doubt we’d make it to our first anniversary?_

_Or our second?_

_I’ve never been completely confident in a relationship before you._

_I thought maybe something was wrong with me._

_That maybe I wasn’t meant to find someone._

_I always doubted._

_You are different, have been from the start._

_I don’t doubt us._

_Thinking of my future, I never saw any of them with me._

_But you, I can’t imagine a future without you in it._

_It’s not because I’ve been secretly gay my whole life._

_It’s just...you._

_You and me are meant._

_Soul mates._

_Stop rolling your eyes, Pretty Boy._

_I can hear you, saying in that exasperated academic tone:_

_“Soul mates don’t exist, Derek.”_

_Maybe they don’t but you and me, we are meant to be._

_I don’t care how you want to explain it as long as you know it’s a fact._

_I want to celebrate that every year for the rest of our lives at our special place._

_Who would have thought I’d get you to love the woods?_

_*Who indeed?*_ For their first anniversary, Derek didn’t take him to a fancy restaurant or a play or something normal. No, he said it was a surprise and took him for a drive. The further out they got, the more nervous Spencer had become. Parking in front of a cabin, in the _woods_ , he thought Derek was out of his mind. If not for Derek’s pleading look, Spencer would have demanded they leave and get back to civilization. The inside was comfortable and romantic. Derek lit candles and set the table. Derek cooked for him, nothing fancy but all favorites of Spencer’s. It had been special. Just him and Derek, no interruptions. They talked and laughed. They made love slow and tenderly lit by the flames of the fire, cuddled as they slept. Then they fucked like animals in the morning, able to be as loud as they wanted to without fear of being overheard. _*Not that either of us are particularly concerned with that.*_

It was beautiful. They rented the cabin more than once, sometimes alone, other times with the members of the team or Derek’s family. For their second anniversary, Spencer surprised Derek with the deed. He’d convinced the owner to sell it to him. It’s theirs, their special place. A place isolated from their work and the world. It’s the first place they went after Spencer was sufficiently healed. It was what they both needed, an oasis from the destruction and pain Kryupt caused.

“Spencer?”

He had forgotten he wasn’t alone.

“Are you okay?”

The concern in his driver’s voice is almost enough to make him smile. Derek always tells him he has this aura that makes some people want to take care of him. Of course, on the flip side it also makes some people want to take advantage of him. “Yeah, I’m okay. Just lost in my thoughts. Take me to the cabin.”

Being with Derek has changed much in his life. He has become more; his life, his experiences, his family have expanded. He’s loved in a way he never imagined possible and Derek has shown him that every second of this special day Derek took the time to plan for him. Spencer can’t doubt his love, his dedication to him. Derek loves him with everything he is. “Soul mates indeed.”

“What was that?”

Spencer shakes his head. “Nothing.” If anyone could make him believe in soul mates, it’s Derek. The rest of the team loves him but not with the fervency that Derek does. Only Derek would plan a day like this, write up notes to bring up memories of their relationship and convince people he loves to spend their off time standing around waiting to give him an envelope with a letter inside they aren’t privy to. _*It’s ridiculous. They must really love me to do this for me, for us.*_

If Derek’s intent was to remind Spencer how loved he is, he succeeded. It’s impossible to doubt now. He can’t doubt it.

Knowing they have a while before they get to the cabin, Spencer looks to Edwin. “Why aren’t you working for Luc? I find it hard to believe he didn’t ask you to work with him at his company.”

Edwin glances back in the rear view mirror and answers, “He did ask.”

“Why did you turn him down?”

“My wife stuck with me during the years I served, she was strong. It wasn’t easy for her to wonder if I was coming home and I promised her when I was out of the service, I’d come work for her. She’s the owner. I became a chauffeur for her.”

Seeing the fond smile on his face, Spencer guesses he is thinking of his wife. “You really love her.”

“She and my kids, they’re my world,” Edwin says simply.

Spencer smiles. “Like Derek is mine.”

“Exactly.”

“Tell me about them.”

Settling back in his seat, Spencer listens to Edwin talk about his wife and kids, prompting him when necessary, the rest of the ride to the cabin. He even tells him about the friend he lost, Mel, and the work he does to help the community in her honor.

**CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM**

Stepping out, the snow crunches under his feet. Just the sight of the building makes his whole body relax. It’s their home away from home, their sanctuary. _*What would we have done if Kryupt had found our cabin and tainted it with his evil?*_ Spencer doesn’t know. They need this place for their own sanity. _*Kryupt’s invasion of our home showed me a glimpse of how Gideon felt when his sanctuary was violated.*_ Understanding why he left doesn’t mean he has forgotten how much it hurt when Gideon left the way he did. _*Enough. Today isn’t the day to think about him.*_

Spencer notices the sound of dogs barking. Two massive dogs come lumbering toward him.

“Herc, Athena! Halt.”

The huge beasts screech to a stop inches in front of him.

“Sit.” They obediently plop down on their butts, their tails wagging furiously.

Spencer laughs at the eager looks on their faces. He reaches out and gives each of them a vigorous rub.

Mbizi comes out from behind the cabin with two dogs at his heels, one a border collie mix and the other an Australian shepherd, both carrying a ball in their mouths. Stopping, he orders, “Sit.” He holds his hands out and says, “Drop.” The two balls fall into his waiting hands, he tosses one in Edwin’s direction, who catches it reflexively. “Throw that for me, will you?”

“How far?”

“As far as you can.” Mbizi turns to the shepherd, whose eyes are firmly on the bright orange ball.

Edwin shrugs and tosses the ball.

He tosses his own ball, then shouts, “Get it!” The dogs are off like a shot.

Spencer watches his friends with amusement. “Dog sitting?”

Mbizi shrugs as if it’s nothing. “Tito needed some help with them today.”

“From what I hear, he’s been hooking you into fostering.”

“I’m a helpful guy,” Mbizi says dryly.

Laughing, Spencer disagrees, “Soft-hearted is what you are.” He glances over at the two dogs running back with the balls in their mouths. “Are they the notorious Loki and Merida?”

The two drop their balls, tongues hanging out of their mouths, and lay down at Mbizi’s feet. “This is them.”

“They look great.”

Mbizi squats down and pats them. “They are doing great. Tito thinks they’ll be ready for a home soon. They’ve made great strides.”

“Two more saved.” Spencer’s lips curve up into a soft smile.

“Yeah, Tito’s got the magic touch. Loki and Merida are good dogs, they just needed some leadership, a lot of exercise, and training.” Heading toward the cabin, Mbizi gives a whistle and all four dogs rush to the door.

“I’ll wait in the vehicle, Dr. Spencer.”

Spencer waves his declaration off. “Come on inside. You can snoop around, if you like, or just relax.”

Mbizi lets the dogs inside, then turns back to smirk at Edwin. “I’d just go with him. If you haven’t learned yet, Spencer here can be a bit of a powerhouse.”

“I have noticed that.”

Spencer claps his hands together sharply. “Great, let’s get out of this cold then.” Inside, he finds all four dogs have found spots to lay down in the living room. Loki and Merida are curled up together, while Athena and Herc have sprawled out.

“Is it okay if I hang out here?” Edwin asks, indicating the sleeping dogs.

Mbizi nods. “Yeah, most those two will do is drool on you,” He says pointing at Athena and Herc. “The other two should be worn out, they’ll sleep.”

Edwin weaves through the sleeping dogs to the couch. Herc, who’s lying against the foot of the couch, lifts his massive head to rest it on Edwin’s shoes. His expression turns bemused but otherwise, he doesn’t react.

Spencer starts up the stairs to the loft, Mbizi following. They take a seat in the sitting area. “Did you find the cabin alright?”

“Yeah, Derek gave me detailed directions. It’s a nice place, not somewhere I expected you to buy though.”

“Me neither. I thought Derek was insane when he brought me here for our anniversary but he was right. It’s a true sanctuary for us. Quiet and isolated, it’s like a breath a fresh air when we need it most.” Coming to the cabin was what Spencer looked forward to when he was healing. Not wanting to think of the reason _why_ he was healing or the man that caused the injury, Spencer says, “You’ll be back here, don’t doubt it. In the summer, we love having friends and family here. It’s good to get away from the city and the stress, for everyone. We drag Pen here at least once a year for a device free couple of days.”

“I look forward to it. Maybe I’ll get to see you without a shirt,” Mbizi says with a leer.

Spencer rolls his eyes. “Drop the act, Mbizi. I couldn’t be farther from your type.”

Mbizi smiles genuinely, dropping the fake flirty persona. “Good thing, otherwise Derek’d be doing more than threatening to kill me.”

Spencer laughs. “How are things going with Penelope?”

“Good. And before you say anything, I promise I am treating her like the queen she is.”

“Keep it that way and we won’t have problems,” Spencer warns.

“Why is it your threats are more menacing than anyone else’s on your team?”

Spencer smirks. “Because you have spent enough time with me to know that my mind is my greatest weapon, one you don’t want turned on you.”

Mbizi shivers dramatically. “It’s a good thing that mind of yours is on the side of good.”

Conceding he has a point, if he had gone the other way, he might have been an incredibly brilliant criminal.

“How has today been?”

The abrupt subject change reminds Spencer why he’s at the cabin in the first place. “Amazing. I can’t believe Derek did this all for me and got everyone to help.”

“I can speak for everyone when I say, I was happy to help. You deserve a special day.”

Spencer wrinkles his nose, not wanting to acknowledge it.  

“You deserve this,” Mbizi repeats vehemently.

“I know, Derek’s made sure of that.” In the two years they’ve been together, Derek has made a mission of making Spencer feel special and more importantly, _worthy,_ of it.

Taking out the envelope, Mbizi offers it to Spencer. “Everyone has been speculating what Derek has been writing in these notes.”

Spencer smiles secretively, taking the envelope. “They’ll have to keep wondering.” The letters are for him and him alone, he wants to keep it that way. Whether that will be forever or simply a while, he doesn’t know. But for now, they are just his.

Mbizi doesn’t appear surprised or overly disappointed.

Caressing the sealed envelope lightly, Spencer wonders what Derek has written. Without a word, Mbizi stands. He gives Spencer a fond smile and goes downstairs. Alone, Spencer carefully opens the envelope and takes out the letter.  

_Sometimes, I think of all those years you lived with the ‘Reid curse.’_

_You foolishly believed in it, we all did._

_I regret teasing you, feeding your fear._

_I should have proven you were wrong._

_You had such fear that the curse would be proved true._

_With Jack. With Henry. With Kiara. With Damien. With Dai._

_But you weren’t. You aren’t cursed._

_They love you as much as you love them._

_Seeing you with them, any of them, makes my heart swell and ache at the same time._

_You’re a natural, Babe._

_Gentle, kind, patience, and curious._

_Do you remember the first time Kiara, Damien, and Darius came to our house for a week?_

_You were more nervous than I’d ever seen,_

_And that includes meeting my family as my boyfriend for the first time._

_We took them all over the city and they loved every minute of it._

_They didn’t want to leave._

_They wanted to stay with us, with me and with you._

_Uncle Derek and Uncle Spencer._

_The kids, all of them, have shown me how much I want that for us._

_To hear our child call you Papa._

_I hope it happens soon._

_I can’t wait to make a family with you._

_I can’t wait to be a Daddy or for you to be a Papa._

_I dream about it._

_Every time we take Jack and Henry or Kiara and the twins to the park,_

_I picture watching our kids like we do them._

_Seeing them play with big grins on their faces, safe and happy._

_Do you picture it?_

_*Yes.*_ He pictures it with increasing frequency as the desire for a child of his own grows. The Reid curse kept him from hoping but no longer. He isn’t cursed. Spencer is free to hope, to imagine the family he and Derek will have one day. _*Soon, I hope.*_

Hugging the letter carefully to his chest, he lets his desire swell in his chest. The future is unknown. Spencer touches his stomach, wondering, _*Will I feel Derek’s child grow inside me? Or will we watch our surrogate’s belly swell with our child?*_ Spencer doesn’t know what their future holds but in his heart, he knows they’ll have a child, whatever it takes. If not biologically, through adoption.

Feeling hopeful, Spencer tucks the letter back in the envelope with care. Descending the stairs, he hears Edwin and Mbizi talking quietly. They go silent.

“Ready to leave, Dr. Spencer?”

Spencer looks around the cabin, letting the peace of the place soak into him. “Yeah, I’m ready.” He’s ready to see who is waiting for him at the park and to discover what else Derek has in store for him.

**CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM**

“When is Uncle Spencer going to get here?” Damien asks.

Tugging his hat down, Sarah answers, “Soon.”

Darius tilts his head, curious. “Why’d Uncle Derek make a treasure hunt for Uncle Spencer?”

“He wanted to do something special for Uncle Spencer.”

Dai and Damien lock eyes and shrug. Then they jet off running around and shoving each other into the snow.

They aren’t much interested in the motivations behind the behavior of adults. _*Only a few years and my baby boys will be teenagers.*_ Sarah shudders at the thought of their teenage years, they are enough trouble as ten-year-olds. All those hormones are not going to help. _*We’re going to have to keep a close eye on them.*_ The last thing she or Aki want is for either of the twins to get in serious trouble. They have good hearts but their tendency to jump headfirst into everything can get them into mischief.

“Do you think Uncle Spencer is enjoying the day Uncle Derek planned for him?”

Sarah smiles down at her youngest daughter. Kiara is blossoming into a young woman, a beautiful one at that. She has a good head on her shoulders, which eases Sarah’s worries for the future some. “Knowing your uncle, both of them actually, I can confidently answer yes.”

“I’m glad. Uncle Spencer is special, he deserves to see how much he’s loved.”

Her little girl is twelve going on thirty. “He is a very special man; Derek is lucky to have him.” When she first found out about them, she hadn’t reacted well. Sarah feels shame at the memory of what she said to her brother, worse within Spencer’s hearing. She could have lost him in her confusion and inability to adapt to the unexpected changes in his life. Derek hadn’t pulled his punches, which was what she needed. When she finally saw what everyone else had, Sarah couldn’t help but adapt. Any lingering doubts she had in the beginning are long gone. Her brother’s love for Spencer has not waned an iota, it’s grown stronger and stronger.

She’d been honored when Derek asked her, Aki, and the kids to be part of the special day he planned for Spencer. A smile forms on her lips. _*Does he suspect? Spencer is an excellent profiler, he must.*_ A part of her has her doubts. Spencer is as fallible as the rest of them, despite his intelligence. He can miss what’s right in front of his face. _*He might be entirely wrapped up in the treasure hunt, too focused on the letters to realize what they are leading up to.*_ She hopes he’s surprised, Sarah hopes Derek gets to see the light of understanding come into Spencer’s eyes as he goes down on one knee.

Sarah cannot believe she and Aki will be celebrating their fifteenth wedding anniversary within a few months. By the time they started dating, she’d learned to trust men again. Ty did a number on her when he blindsided her with the divorce papers. Finding out he was not only cheating on her but had impregnated the woman was the hardest to take. The betrayal not only to her but to their children, it was a scar that took time to heal. Aki is nothing like Ty. When she thinks about it, Aki reminds her of Spencer, both are loyal to the core. If being betrayed by Ty is what she had to endure to find love with Aki, it was more than worth it. _*God, do I love that man. He’s given me his complete devotion and love. He gave me Mi and Ryuu, and Kiara, Darius, and Damien. Our family is large but I wouldn’t give any of them up for anything in the world.*_ Sarah hopes Derek and Spencer will be able to look back with the same amount of happiness.

_*My little brother is finally going to be married. To the love of his life.*_ She can picture him standing in front of a church, chest puffed out in pride as Spencer walks down the aisle to him. Her brother loves that boy without restraint. Their love is strong enough to weather the storms they’ll inevitably encounter.

“Look, Uncle Spencer is here!” Darius points at Spencer getting out of the back of an unfamiliar car.

The twins rush up and launch themselves at Spencer before she can blink. He staggers back as Damien hits him, then falls onto his back at Dai’s impact.

“Oh, my god. Spencer, are you okay?” Sarah quickly drags the twins off him. She prays her troublesome twosome haven’t aggravated Spencer’s recent injury.

Spencer laughs. “I’m okay, Sarah. The snow softened my fall.”

“Are you sure?” Sarah fusses, brushing the snow off him and helping him sit up.

“I’m sure.”

Damien and Darius stare at Spencer with wide eyes. “We’re sorry, Uncle Spencer!” they apologize together.

“We didn’t mean to hurt you,” Damien says earnestly.

Dai finishes guiltily, “We promise!”

Spencer touches the twins’ faces gently. “It’s okay. I’m fine, no harm.”

They sniffle loudly.

“Hey, no tears. Come here, give me a hug.” Spencer coaxes Dai and Damien closer.

Sarah’s heart melts at how carefully her boys hug Spencer. _*He and Derek are going to be wonderful daddies.*_

Damien and Darius bounce backward, scrambling to help their uncle up. Spencer’s chauffeur assists and gets him back on his feet. The man brushes the snow from the back of Spencer’s jacket.

“Are you sure you’re okay, Uncle Spencer?” Kiara asks.

Smiling gently, Spencer promises, “I’m sure.” He pulls her into a hug.

“Aki wishes he could be here but he couldn’t get out of work,” Sarah explains before her children can ask Spencer if he’s okay again and claims her own hug from her future brother-in-law.

“I understand. I am happy the four of you were able to come. It makes today all the more special.”

“When Derek asked us, the kids couldn’t say yes fast enough,” Sarah says with a laugh. “Anything for their favorite uncles, right?”

Damien and Darius bounce, shouting together, “Right!”

“They’ve been counting down the days until our summer visit,” Kiara confesses.

“Kiara has too!” Darius yells.

Spencer laughs. “It’s the best thing of our summers.”

“Theirs too,” Sarah says.

Damien looks up at Spencer’s chauffeur as if noticing him for the first time. “Who are you?”

The man squats down to his level. “My name is Edwin. I’ve been driving your uncle around today.”

“Oh, okay.” Damien turns to Sarah. “I’m cold, can we go inside now?”

“Why don’t the three of you sit in my car to keep warm until your uncle and your mom are done talking?”

Sarah nods her permission, aware that anyone her overprotective brother trusts with Spencer is trustworthy with her children.

“Edwin’s got kids of his own, they’ll be fine.”

“I have no doubt.”

Spencer shakes his head, a smile on his lips. “It’s because of Derek’s over-protectiveness.”

Sarah won’t deny it and Spencer knows that. “Yup.”

“Luc knows him, Edwin’s ex-Special Forces.”

Sarah can’t believe it. Her brother not only found someone he can trust to drive Spencer, he found someone that is likely capable of physically protecting him. “Wow. Trust Derek to find the perfect driver for you.”

“I know. I can just see him gloating about it.”

“Me too. Far too easily, in fact.” Sarah knocks her shoulder against Spencer’s gently. “How are you doing? Has today been as special as Derek hoped it would be for you?”

A fond expression on his face, Spencer says, “Yes. It’s been really meaningful. I won’t forget this day, ever.”

_*Just you wait, Spencer. You’ll have another reason to remember today.*_ Sarah smiles. “Good.” She points at her rental. “Your next clue is in the car. I didn’t want it to get wet out here.”

Spencer says gratefully, “Thanks, I want to keep all the letters.”

“I figured you would. I can only imagine what he’s written in those clues but I suspect they are sentimental. Derek is quite the sap when it comes to you.”

“I can’t deny that,” Spencer says happily.

Opening the car, Sarah takes out the letter and holds it out but doesn’t let go of it. “You are truly a special man, Spencer, and I couldn’t be happier Derek found love with you.”

“Thank you, Sarah. That means a lot to me.”

“I know we didn’t have the greatest start…”

Spencer holds up his hand. “Stop. You don’t need to—”

“I do. I know you’ve forgiven me for the way I reacted when Derek brought you home.”

“Sarah,” Spencer tries.

“No, I need to say this.”

Spencer gestures her to continue.

“I was wrong and I regret it deeply. How I missed how much Derek adores you, I don’t know, but I can’t miss it anymore. I’ve enjoyed getting to know you the past two years. You are exactly what and who Derek needs and I’ve never seen him happier. That is all I have ever wanted for him. He deserves happiness and most importantly, he deserves the happiness he can only find with you.”

Spencer’s caramel eyes shine with a sheen of unshed tears. “Sarah.” His voice is choked with emotion.

Sarah pulls him into a hug and Spencer hugs her back with a touch of desperation. “I can’t wait to see you and Derek with your own little one. You are going to be amazing parents.”

“Jeez, Sarah. I’m having enough trouble keeping the tears at bay, you’re not helping,” Spencer jokes playfully.

Sarah chuckles. “Not sorry.”

Spencer shakes his head. “You sound like Desiree.”

“Harsh! Very harsh.”

Even wet with tears, Spencer’s eyes sparkle with laughter. “Truth often is.”

Sarah gives up the envelope, which Spencer takes. “You better get going, I’ve kept you long enough.” She starts walking back to the car.

“Onto the next place,” Spencer says with a smile.

**CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM**

Seated in the back once more, Spencer lets the heat in the car seep into his body. He struggles to contain his eager anticipation, forcing his fingers to steady as he opens the next letter from Derek.

_I wish you could have met Pop._

_He would have loved you, Baby, just like Mama does._

_He would have shown you what a father is supposed to be like._

_Pop was solid, physically, mentally, emotionally._

_I wish you could have experienced his solidity._

_*Me, too, Derek.*_ He would have eagerly accepted having a father figure that was solid two years ago. His father figures proved they couldn’t be the solid men he needed them to be. Spencer can imagine the man Hank Morgan was from the stories he’s heard from Fran, Sarah, and Derek. He has a feeling Hank would have been exactly the kind of man he needed, a solid, trustworthy, and loving man. Desiree never got to meet him but the other three Morgans made sure she knows who he was. Each of the Morgan siblings has pieces of him.

_Even if you don’t have Pop by your side,_

_You do have someone who considers you his son._

_A solid, loyal man who loves you._

_He won’t abandon you like the others._

_He wouldn’t dare._

_He knows I’d kill him if he hurt you,_

_Just as I know no one would find my body if I broke your heart._

_It’s hard but you can trust him, Pretty Boy._

_He is the solid man you need._

_If ever you can’t talk to me, go to him._

_He promised to be there if you need him and I trust him._

_More than that, he promises to be there for our family._

_I wonder what our children will call him._

_Grandpa? Whatever grandpa is in Italian?_

Still reeling from Dave’s declaration, Spencer never considered what Dave would be to the children he and Derek hope to have. _*Our kids could have a grandpa. Does Dave even want to be involved in our children’s lives?*_ Derek seems to think it’s a no brainer but Spencer isn’t certain. _*Dave’s promise to be there for me is brand new.*_ Simply assuming that Dave would gladly take on the added responsibility of being in their children’s lives feels presumptuous. _*Does he want to be their grandpa?*_ Spencer knows what he wants his answer to be but he can’t and won’t answer for Dave. He needs to know how Dave feels from his own lips.

Spencer gives Edwin Dave’s address. One way or another, he will know how Dave feels. His stomach churns with anxiety but he has hope.

**CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM**

Taking a moment to settle his nerves, Spencer slides out of the car. Dave opens the front door by the time he’s halfway up the walkway. “Come on in out of the cold.” The ease and confidence in his body language quiets the butterflies in Spencer’s stomach. He accepts the hug from Dave easily; it incites the same feelings Dave’s home does in Spencer: a sensation of warmth, welcome, and comfort.

Dave’s dogs barely open an eye at Spencer’s entrance before going back to sleep.

“How are you doing, Spencer?”

“Good. Today has been…” Several words come to mind: amazing, emotional, unexpected. “Perfect.”

“I’m glad. Derek put in a lot of work to make this day one you’ll remember.”

With a smile, Spencer freely admits, “He succeeded. I can’t ever imagine forgetting today.” It’s a day he’ll treasure for the rest of his life. Any time he doubts he’s loved, all he has to do is think of today. Of the work and effort Derek put into it and the willingness of the people that love him to take away from their time off to help. Spencer shouldn’t deserve such treatment but he knows every single person involved in today would disagree. It’s an overwhelming feeling, one he never imagined he’d feel considering the loneliness and isolation of his youth. “Did Derek tell you what he planned for today?”

Dave shrugs. “Pieces.”

“The letters?”

Shaking his head, Dave answers, “No.”

“This whole day, all the clues, they were letters that sent me to places to remind me of our past. The hunt was about reliving our relationship, from our first meeting until the moment you told me you see me as a son.” Spencer takes a breath. “All the important moments that brought me this point in my life.”

Dave’s expression softens.

“Derek’s last letter,” Spencer bites his lip, “it brought up something I hadn’t thought about. Derek and I have never talked about it but it’s something only you can answer.”

Picking up on the seriousness, Dave sobers. “What do you need?”

Spencer avoids Dave’s eyes, afraid of facing his reaction. “As you know, Derek and I want to have children. We’ve been talking about it a lot and hope to soon do more than talk.”

Dave nods, the whole team is aware of their future plans for children.

“I know we don’t have children now but we hope within a year or two, we will. And I was wondering how you felt about being a part of their lives.” Spencer gulps nervously, unable to look at Dave for fear of what he’ll see.

“Spencer,” Dave says softly, “look at me.”

Forcing his head to turn, Spencer meets Dave’s eyes.

“I would love to share my life with your children.”

Spencer has to blink back tears at the confident declaration. “Would you be willing to be their grandpa?”

Dave stares back stunned at the question.

Anxiously picking at his clothing, Spencer waits for his answer.

Dave pulls Spencer into a tight hug, still speechless. He eases back far enough to look into his eyes. “I would be honored.”

He can’t miss the emotion in Dave’s voice and eyes and Spencer has to swallow around the lump in his throat. “Yeah?”

Resting his forehead against Spencer’s, tears in his eyes, Dave says, “Truly.”

Spencer can’t doubt the sincerity of his answer.

Dave kisses both of Spencer’s cheeks enthusiastically. “I’m going to be a grandpa!”

He’s never seen Dave more joyful and excited.

“They can call me Nonno and I can teach them to cook authentic Italian food and we can teach them Italian. And one day, I’ll take all of us to Italy.”

Spencer giggles at Dave’s unusual giddiness.

Dave claps his hands in excitement. “They can have their own rooms for when they want to stay with Nonno.”

“Whoa, whoa, Papà.”

They both freeze, stunned by the seemingly harmless four letter word.

“You called me Papà,” Dave says in happy disbelief.  

Spencer doesn’t know what to say. “I didn’t mean to; it just came out.” Seeing the happy expression disappear behind a neutral mask makes his heart stutter in his chest. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

Dave doesn’t react except for a careful nod of acknowledgment.

Spencer rushes to explain, “I didn’t consciously choose to call you that. The unconscious mind is fascinating, a reservoir of feelings, thoughts, urges, and memories that are outside our conscious awareness. Despite being mostly inaccessible, the unconscious mind continues to influence our behavior and experience, even though we are unaware of these underlying influence. How many UnSubs have we found _because_ of the influence their unconscious minds have had on their behavior? They can’t see it but we do. Freud believed those feelings, thoughts, urges, and memories could spill out in unexpected ways. Dreams or slip of the tongue,” Spencer finishes slowly, realizing he’s been babbling nervously. He sighs, then meets Dave’s gaze directly. “I do not regret it.”

Dave’s stoicism softens minutely.

Deciding to be completely honest, Spencer continues, “I am not completely comfortable with what my unconscious mind decided to reveal. I feel it, I am not denying that I do. However, I don’t know if I’m ready to acknowledge how I feel verbally. Acknowledging how I feel about you is much easier and safer emotionally than admitting it out loud. Saying it, especially within your hearing, makes it real.” He leaves the “makes me vulnerable” unsaid.

A look of understanding goes over Dave’s face.

Avoiding his eyes, Spencer says, “You know my history.” Everyone on the team does, just as he knows theirs. “Intellectually, I know I can trust your word, it’s emotionally that is more difficult. I’m try—”

With a touch, Dave stops him. “Spencer, stop. You don’t need to explain yourself. I know you aren’t ready yet. As much as I was shocked, and overjoyed, to hear you say that, I can wait until you are ready. As long as it takes.”

Emotion squeezes his throat, Dave’s understanding and patience are exactly why he loves him as if he’s his dad. Dave is _worthy_ of the title. “Thank you.” One day he’ll be ready and consciously give Dave the title he already calls him in his heart and in his head.

“Come here, kid.”

Spencer walks into Dave’s open arms and accepts the warm, fatherly hug with uncharacteristic ease. Dave’s touch is reassuring in a way Spencer never remembering feeling when William hugged him.

Dave pulls back, a big smile on his face. Rubbing his hands together in anticipation, he asks, “So when can I expect some grandchildren?”

A laugh spills from his lips and Spencer shakes his head in disbelief. “Not you, too. As if I don’t hear enough of that from Mom and Mama.”

Shrugging gracefully, Dave says, “Can’t blame them for nudging you along. We aren’t getting any younger and neither are you.”

“I’m thirty-two!”

“Yes, and Derek is how old?”

“Thirty-nine.”

Dave raises a brow pointedly.

Spencer fights the urge to roll his eyes. Dave may have a point; Derek will be forty this year. They don’t have forever.

“If I’m not mistaken, the two of you are ready.”

Spencer ducks his head shyly. “I think we are.”

“You and Derek will make great parents and I’m honored to be granted a chance to be involved in your family.”

“You’ll be a great nonno,” Spencer says honestly.

Smiling softly, Dave says, “I never thought I’d have a chance, not until you.”

“I never thought I’d have the chance to have a family, not until Derek,” Spencer admits. Dave squeezes Spencer’s shoulder gently in understanding. Spencer has experienced much that he never imagined he would since Derek confessed he loved him back. His world opened in ways he didn’t expect.

“Speaking of Derek, I believe this is for you.” Dave hands over an envelope.

Taking it, Spencer notes Dave turning to look out the window to give him privacy. Grateful, he doesn’t delay, carefully tearing the envelope open. Spencer is surprised by the brevity of the letter.

_No more clues, Pretty Boy._

_Tell Edwin to take you to the house, he knows which one._

_I’ll be waiting._

Nervousness and excitement flutter in his belly. The hunt, the special day reliving their relationship, is finally at an end. _*What can I say to Derek after what he did for me today?*_ Spencer doesn’t know what he should say, thank you does not seem sufficient for all Derek has done. For all everyone has done, almost every person he loves played a part in the day. How can he not feel cherished?

Remembering Dave, Spencer looks up. “Derek is waiting for me. What should I say to him?”

“Say whatever your heart tells you to, you have a good heart, Spencer. Trust it.”

“For once, I don’t know the right words to express my gratitude. Today was indescribable. It means the world to me.”

“You do not need the perfect words. Be honest, that’s all Derek wants.”

Feeling steadier, Spencer nods in thanks. He gives Dave a quick hug before darting outside. “Take me to the house.”

Edwin pulls away without a word, clearly knowing exactly where Spencer needs to go.

Spencer can’t say he has the same knowledge. He knows not what house Derek is referring to. If it was their home, Spencer imagines he would have said so. Wherever he’s going, Derek is waiting for him. His heart feels as if it will burst from his chest. Spencer wants to tackle Derek and smother him with kisses. His boyfriend is the sweetest, most considerate man.

**CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM*CM**

“Thanks, Dave.” Derek hangs up and takes a shaky breath. He’s been planning this moment for months and now, it is finally here. “Holy shit. This is actually happening.” Spencer is going to be here in less time than Derek would like. He has never been more nervous. His family and friends all laughed at him for being nervous but he cannot help it. He is proposing to the man of his dreams, he wants it to be perfect. And if a teeny tiny part of him doubts Spencer’s answer to his question, no one needs to know.

Derek loves Spencer more than he thought possible and he wants to spend his life with him. He wants to make them official. To be able to call him his husband. To start a family with him.

The proposal isn’t the only thing making him nervous. This will be the first time Spencer sees the house he remodeled for them. _*What if he doesn’t like it?*_ Derek feels foolish for doubting and can almost hear Desiree laughing at him for being stupid. Every part of the house was remodeled with him and Spencer in mind. It’s _their_ house. The one they will call home for years to come. The one they’ll raise their children in. A fresh start, where they can make all new memories.

_*Oh, fuck. He’s here.*_ Derek smooths his royal blue shirt and resettles his deep chocolate suit into position. It’s Spencer’s favorite when they need to dress up. Taking a deep breath, Derek walks toward the door. “I can do this.”

Derek barely opens the door before Spencer is launching himself at him. He stumbles back but manages to keep on his feet. Spencer wraps around him like an octopus and peppers his face with kisses. Hugging his love back, his nerves fly away. Derek squeezes tight and inhales the familiar scent of the man he loves. “I guess I don’t need to tell you to come inside,” he says with a laugh.

Spencer cups his face between his hands. “I love you. You’re amazing. Today was amazing. I can’t thank you enough.”

The happiness in his voice makes every minute of preparation worth it. “I love you, too, Pretty Boy. You deserved a special day just for you.” Spencer presses a kiss to his lips and Derek can feel all the emotion Spencer is putting into the kiss.

With reluctance, Spencer slides down Derek’s body and gets his feet under him. He blinks in surprise. “You’re wearing my favorite suit.”

Derek nervously smooths it back into place. “I wanted to look nice for you.”

“Why are you nervous?”

He can’t believe Spencer hasn’t figured it out. _*How could he not know?*_ Derek attempts to push his nervousness down, hiding it from Spencer’s keen, profiler eyes. “I want everything to be perfect.”

Spencer’s expression is full of love. “Derek, today has been perfect. You have me speechless. I’m known for my words and I can’t think of the right words to use to express how thankful and awed I am for all you did today. This day was beyond description; it means the absolute world to me. I don’t know how to thank you.”

His heart swells, feeling satisfaction and pleasure at Spencer’s gratefulness. “You don’t need to thank me. It was my pleasure to do this for you.”

Spencer presses a soft kiss to Derek’s lips. “You’re amazing, Derek Morgan. You truly are.”

“Not as amazing as you are.”

Smiling, Spencer shakes his head but doesn’t try to argue. He never wins anyway.

Taking a deep breath, Derek takes Spencer’s hand. He caresses the smooth, soft skin for a moment to give him time to stop his heart from beating out of his chest. _*This is it.*_

Spencer doesn’t notice Derek’s troubles, curious about the unfamiliar house.

Blood thundering in his ears, Derek slides down on his knee. The instant Spencer notices, he freezes like a deer in headlights. Pure shock is written all over his expressive face. “I need to ask you a question.”

Spencer’s beautiful eyes are wide and Derek can hear him breathing through his mouth. Spencer can’t seem to move or speak, even simply breathing appears to be a struggle for him.

Derek takes the ring box out of his pocket; Spencer’s eyes go even wider and a soft, surprised noise slips from his mouth. Opening it up, Derek presents it to his love. “Spencer Geoffrey Reid, I love you more than life itself. I want to spend the rest of my days with you. Will you marry me?”

Spencer’s mouth uselessly opens and closes, no sound coming out.

Noticing how fast he’s breathing, Derek orders, “Breathe, Spencer. Close your eyes and breathe.”

Doing exactly that, when Spencer opens his eyes, he’s calmer. “You want to marry me?”

With a fond look, Derek answers honestly, “More than anything in the world.” Spencer studies him for a long moment and nervousness bubbles up inside Derek. Doubts start flashing in his mind. _*What if he says no? What if he doesn’t want to get married? What if it’s just me he doesn’t want to marry?*_ Unable to hear over the furious beating of his heart, Derek sees Spencer’s lips move but cannot hear what he said. “What?”

Spencer cups his cheek gently and repeats, “I said yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who helped with ideas and such for the chapter! 
> 
> There will be another chapter after this, probably some celebration porn and Spencer finding out the house is for them.


	8. Stepping Into Their Future

“Yes?” _Did he say yes?_

“Yes.” Spencer’s heart melts at the surprised wonder on Derek’s face and the tears sparkling in his eyes. As if Derek can't believe it. “How can you be surprised? You couldn't possibly think for one second I'd say no."

“I…” He doesn't want to admit he was afraid. Marrying Spencer is one of his deepest desires. He can't imagine spending his life with anyone else. The fear Spencer would say no was genuine. Irrational? Likely but if he’s learned anything over the years, it’s that fear is often times irrational. Until he got down on one knee and looked up at Spencer, Derek didn't realize how nervous he was. He saw everything he wanted right in front of him and the thought of watching it slip through his fingers… He hadn’t known what he'd do if Spencer had said no. Fall into a million pieces probably. Hearing the three letter word he’d needed to hear come from Spencer's lips has him all tangled up and Derek doesn't know how to deal. He doesn't know what he's feeling. Too many emotions are running through him to distinguish them all and he is trying to keep it together. _He said yes._ Spencer wants to be his husband. To marry him and be his. The pressure inside him loosens and it feels like he’s coming up for air. He can breathe. Tears fall down his cheeks unheeded.

“Oh, Derek.” A tender smile on his face, Spencer cups Derek’s face. “You didn't have to worry.”

“Yes, I did,” Derek says truthfully. “You're everything to me.” If he didn’t know before, he does now. He could have lost Spencer to Kryupt. The anguish he felt waiting to hear from the doctors had been excruciating. He’s seen dark times in his life but never the depth of hopelessness he felt at the possibility of losing Spencer. “I need you.” Soon, Spencer will be his officially. _My husband._ Derek smiles. _I like the sound of that._

With a gentle touch, Spencer wipes the tears from Derek’s cheeks, ignoring the ones falling from his own eyes. “I can’t imagine life without you. I don’t want to.”

Needing the reassurance of Spencer in his arms, Derek hugs him close. The familiar warmth and weight center him. Spencer clings to him with a desperation that matches his own.

“I love you. More than I thought possible.” The risk of being hurt kept his heart mostly protected from romantic heartbreak but Derek got past his defenses. First by being the man he is and making it impossible to suppress the love Spencer felt for him. Second by taking the chance at love, even if it wasn't the kind Derek was expecting to find. "I still marvel sometimes."

Distracted, Derek asks, "At what?" His eyes rove over the beautiful features of his fiance. _We're going to be married._ Derek barely suppresses the urge to do a happy dance. He can't wait to stand up in front of their family and friends and proclaim his love for all to hear.

"That you didn't run. When I told you…”

“Shouted.”

Spencer mock glares at the interruption and continues, “...I was in love with you." He’d been certain Derek would run. Why he didn’t, Spencer still wonders.

"Never crossed my mind, Baby. Not once. I was confused as hell at first but even when I didn't know what I felt, I wanted to run _to_ you, not away. I couldn't do that to you."

"And that's why I love you, Derek." All the people, the men that have hurt him, it wouldn't have surprised him for Derek to be like them. Spencer expected him to stomp on his heart because that's what everyone else did. But Derek proved to him some people can be trusted with his love. Derek is the one who holds his heart in his hand and instead of crushing it, cradles and protects it.

“I love you too, Pretty Boy. I feel like my heart could burst from the love it holds for you.” Spencer showed Derek the depth of love he was capable of and it's deeper than Derek thought possible.

Content to be in each other’s arms, neither notice the time passing by.

_Oh, crap! I haven’t given him the ring yet!_ “The ring.”

Pleasantly content to remain in Derek's loving arms, Spencer repeats drowsily, “The ring?” _The ring!_ “Oh!”

Checking his pockets, Derek finds where he must have stashed the ring in his dazed state. He presents the box to Spencer, who opens it with trembling fingers.

“Oh, Derek.” Spencer stares at the beautiful ring. It takes his breath away.

Derek takes it out of the box and slides it on Spencer’s finger. It looks more stunning against his skin than he’d imagined it would. “I had it made for you.” He wanted Spencer to have a ring as special and unique as he is. “It’s the soundwaves of my heartbeat.”

Spencer caresses the violet soundwaves circling the black ring. “It’s beautiful.” With reverence, he removes it to inspect it closer. Seeing a glimpse of it, Spencer says, “There’s an engraving.” He turns the ring to read the words Derek had engraved inside. _My hearts beats only for you._ Spencer closes his eyes and clutches the ring to his chest. His heart feels like it will burst with the joy and love he’s feeling. Tears in his eyes, Spencer stares at his love. “It’s perfect.” He never thought he'd find a love like the one he and Derek share. He is blessed.

His own eyes suspiciously wet, Derek gently takes the ring from Spencer and places it back on his finger, where it belongs. He never wants to see Spencer without his ring on his finger.

“I’m honored to wear your heart. I’ll take good care of it.”

Caressing a soft cheek, Derek answers, “I know you will.”

Sniffling, Spencer says, “Will you wear mine on your finger?”

Derek's heart leaps in his chest. “I’d be honored.”

Spencer believes he is, the touch of awe on his beautiful face makes him feel a tender warm inside. He touches the soft expression, tracing it with his finger. Spencer marvels at the man who wants to be his husband. _Husband. I never thought I'd get married._ The thought draws his attention back to the ring Derek had made specifically for him. It's more than he could have imagined. _Derek would think outside the book and create something unique and special for me._ It is lovely and perfect. Derek's heartbeat is wrapped around his finger, the heart that beats for him. More tears join the ones drying on his cheeks. _My Derek. My fiance._ Picturing a similar ring on Derek’s finger makes joy flutter in his chest. “You’ve made today amazing, Derek. I won’t ever forget what you did for me today.” Derek puts such work and love into the hunt and the proposal. Nothing can make him forget today.  

“You deserved every bit of it, Pretty Boy.” He prays Spencer will like the house, the perfect ending to the special day he planned for his love.

Until Derek, no one has thought so. “Thank you for the letters. They…” Spencer swallows harshly around the lump in his throat. Forcing the words out, he promises, “I will cherish them. Always.”

“Hey, don’t cry, Baby. Please don’t cry.”

Thinking of the beautiful, sweet, loving words Derek wrote, Spencer can’t stop. The written word holds such significance and weight to him. He learned from his mother how to cherish it. Books got him through every challenge he’s faced until Derek. They were his escape and sanctuary. The letters he and his mom have written back and forth for years mean the world to him. He can read them and feel his mom’s love. It makes her separation from him bearable. Derek knows how much the written word means to him and he used that to make the day all the more special. Blubbering like a baby, Spencer cries, “I’m getting tears all over my favorite suit.”

Expression soft, Derek takes Spencer’s face in his hands. “I don’t care about the suit.”

Spencer snuffles. “But I do.” He loves how the suit looks on Derek. It makes him want to strip Derek naked. Every. Single. Time.

Derek grins, remembering the looks of desire on Spencer’s face every time he peels the suit from his body. _I do enjoy that part._ Looking down dubiously at his silk shirt, Derek says, “I don’t think the shirt is going to survive.” Silk is such a delicate fabric, easily stained.

“Sorry,” Spencer apologizes, his hands smoothing the wet fabric. “I didn’t mean to ruin your shirt.”

The shirt doesn't matter to him. “Don’t worry about it. You deserved to shed those tears, just as I did. Today was a special, joyous occasion for us. We got engaged! I'd rather you ruin a million shirts than hold in your tears. I always want to be there to hold you while you cry, Baby. Whether happy tears or sad. One ruined shirt is nothing.”

“But the suit,” Spencer protests. _I love that suit. To an unhealthy degree maybe, but the way Derek looks in it…_ He licks his lips. _Makes me want to lick every inch of him._

“The suit can survive some tears.” _Maybe._ Derek is not sure it will but it's a suit. It can be replaced. Their moment, their day is too important to be concerned about clothing.

Spencer fingers the tear-soaked fabric nervously. “We need to treat it.”

“Now?” Derek asks in disbelief. He doesn’t give a flying fuck about the stupid suit. Spencer doesn’t know yet the house is to be their new home. Derek wants to show it off, not worry about a suit that can be replaced. “Stop worrying. If it doesn’t come clean, I promise we’ll go shopping for another suit you love as much.” The gleam in Spencer’s caramel eyes makes his cock swell in anticipation. He can practically see the fantasy in those eyes. Of Spencer taking the suit off him piece by piece in the dressing room.

“Promise?” Spencer does enjoy the thought of a new suit as delectable as the one Derek's wearing. He closes his eyes and fantasizes about stripping Derek in the dressing room and sitting on his lap and grinding until they both cum like randy teenagers. _Or maybe Derek can fuck me against the wall._

Derek’s breathing hitches as Spencer licks his lips. He knows Spencer is asking about more than finding a suit. “Anything for you.” _Let’s hope we don’t get caught. I do not want to explain to the team why we got arrested for indecent exposure at an expensive tailor’s._ Derek laughs at himself mentally. _Not like they couldn’t figure it out._ The team knows about the suit’s effect on Spencer. Derek made the mistake of wearing it on a case; it’s only happened once for a reason. _But damn, that was a day to remember._ Aaron would kill him if he let it happen again.  Otherwise, Derek might be tempted.

“Does this house have a pet cleaner or odor remover? Oh, and seltzer water.”

Derek wants to bang his head against the wall. He’d hoped the idea of shopping for a new suit had gotten Spencer’s mind off his favorite one. _I should have known better. Once something gets into his mind, Spencer doesn’t forget. Ever._ “You’re not going to let this go, are you?”

Spencer smooths the lines of the suit over his shoulders. “I love this suit on you.” _I love stripping it off you even more._

His stubbornness knows no bounds. He isn’t going to waste time fighting against it. “Fine. Let’s go.” Derek is starting to regret his choice to wear Spencer’s favorite suit. “We can get you cleaned up at the same time.”

Spencer touches his face, staring at the wetness on his fingers as if he’d forgotten the tears. “Okay.”

Derek leads him to the half bath, ignoring the curiosity in Spencer’s eyes. He turns on the water and grabs a cloth. Waiting until the water is warm, Derek wets the cloth and then wipes Spencer’s face clean.

“Thanks, Derek.”

“Anytime.” Derek dries the wetness with a fluffy towel.

“Did you happen to leave any clothing here?” Spencer asks, removing the jacket of the suit.

Derek nods. “Yeah.” Wearing worn work clothes weren’t in his plans when he imagined showing his new fiance their new house. _I guess it's better than doing it in my boxers._ Derek considers that for a second before disregarding it.

“Great. Why don’t you get the supplies and I’ll treat the suit while you’re changing.” Spencer unbuttons Derek’s shirt with quick, nimble motions. He strips it off Derek, leaving him bare-chested. “You may be right about the shirt.” Part of Derek mourns at how clinical Spencer is about stripping him. Spencer is always careful with the suit but usually, he's more interested in the body underneath than protecting the suit. _There's nothing sexy about this. Unfortunately._

“I have others. Toss it.” The last thing he wants is Spencer wasting time trying to save the stupid shirt. “You know I can undress myself,” Derek says in amusement.

“Not when you’re wearing this suit you can’t.” It's his privilege to remove this particular suit from Derek's body, he won't let Derek or anyone else take that away from him.

Derek chuckles because it’s the truth. It's no use fighting Spencer on it; Spencer made sure he knew it's _his_ right. “Might as well take the pants too. No sense in risking damaging them.”

“My thoughts exactly.” Spencer kneels down and unties his shoes.

Unable to stop himself, he carefully combs his fingers through Spencer’s hair. It's silky and soft. His fascination with it hasn't diminished over the years. Derek's had nightmares of Spencer losing his hair, a secret he keeps to himself. He would still love Spencer if he lost his hair but he would mourn the loss of combing through the wavy locks.

Spencer smiles but doesn’t comment on the familiar behavior. Derek's fingers moving through his hair is soothing; it makes him feel safe and loved. Spencer finishes stripping the pants off Derek and carefully drapes them over his arm.

Resigned to Spencer’s need to look after his suit, Derek pads out of the bathroom wearing only his socks and boxers. “I’ll grab the supplies.”

“A hanger would be nice too!” Spencer shouts after him. “For the pants!”

Shaking his head, Derek has no idea how he manages to get into situations like this. _Spencer._ He's always the answer. _Makes life interesting though._ Chuckling quietly to himself, he gathers the stuff and brings it back to Spencer. His new fiance carefully hangs up the pants, then concentrates on the suit coat. Derek leaves him to it.

He finds a paint-splattered shirt, a ripped hoodie, and a pair of jeans in rough shape. _Better than nothing, I guess._ The jeans fit snug over his thighs and butt. _Spencer will like the jeans at least._ Derek is not above accentuating his body to draw Spencer's eye. _Maybe he’ll forget about the suit and remember it’s the body underneath he’s supposed to be paying attention to._ He shakes his head. _I can’t believe I’m jealous of a fucking suit._

Needing a distraction, Derek lingers a bit to admire the work he’d done to the house. _I hope he likes it._ A niggle of doubt burrows into his brain. _Don’t go there._ Needing to get back before his doubts get the best of him, Derek goes in search of Spencer. He finds him in the laundry room with the clothing set out with obvious care. Derek firmly tamps down his jealousy.

“We’ll have to take this to the dry cleaners after we leave.”

_Jealous of a suit. God, I’m pathetic._ Knowing better than to argue, Derek agrees without a fuss. “Sure.” He decides not to mention Spencer treated the silk shirt as well, despite his suggestion of throwing it away. It’s likely a wasted effort but Derek will keep that thought to himself. _Wait._ Derek realizes something. _Only reason Spencer is paying attention to the suit is because of the way it looks on me and how much he loves taking it off me._ Not about to examine the boost to his ego, he asks, “Finished?”

“Yup.” Spencer stands and strides back to the bathroom to wash his hands. He looks around the bathroom. “So this is the house, huh? Luc said you know who the owner will be.” Spencer hasn't seen every house he has remodeled but Derek isn't typically secretive, at least not as much, with the houses he works on. He's been more than curious what the big deal is. The house must be something special, for someone special. Spencer would have tried to trick it out of Derek but the secret seemed important. Instead of pushing, he decided to let Derek reveal the big secret when he was ready. _Am I finally going to find out who the house is for?_  His curiosity has been burning inside and suppressing the urge to solve the puzzle hasn't been easy.

“I do,” Derek admits.

“Are you going to tell me? Is it someone we know?” As much as he has been dying of curiosity, being inside the house Derek's been so secretive about, Spencer finds himself distracted by the choices Derek made for the bathroom. He strokes the smooth white tiles covering the walls. “I love the black hexagon tiles on the floor.”

“I knew you would.” Derek eats up the fascinated wonder on Spencer’s face. _How many times have I imagined this moment?_ He can't take his eyes off him. _More times than I can count._ He wants--no needs--Spencer to love the house he’s remodeled for them. “Is there anything you don’t like? Anything you’d change?” He spent hours and hours debating over choices for the house. _Too many. Was it enough? Does he want to change anything?_

Spencer looks around. “It’s wonderful.” His mind and body freezes. _Wait._ He slowly spins to face Derek. “Why?”

Derek fakes nonchalance but suspects he isn’t fooling Spencer. “In case you wanted to change something.”

“Change--but…” Spencer stares into Derek’s mostly calm eyes. _Is he asking because...?_ He can't finish the thought. “Shouldn’t the owner make those decisions?”

“Yes.”

The simple answer confirms his suspicions. _Oh. My. God._ “Is.." Spencer swallows around the lump in his throat, "...is this house ours? Are--are _we_ the new owners?”

“Yeah.” Derek’s fingers twitch with nerves. “Unless you don’t want it.”

“Don’t want it?” Spencer echoes in disbelief. “You remodeled this house for us.” Spencer blinks back tears, instinctively knowing Derek had them in mind with every choice he made with the house. He remembers Derek talking about stripping the house down to the studs, how excited he was to give the house new life before he clammed up and became secretive. _Now I know why._

It’s not a question but Derek answers anyway, “Yes.”

Bracing himself against the counter of the vanity, Spencer tries to recover his breath. “This is ours?”

“If you want it to be.”

With numb legs, Spencer stumbles around and launches himself into Derek’s arms. “Of course I do.” _He built this for us._ He can't believe it. “Derek, it’s perfect.”

The awe in Spencer's voice and how his love is trembling in his arms makes all his doubts disappear. Feeling foolish for wasting all that time on worrying, Derek chuckles. “Basically all you’ve seen is the bathroom and the laundry room. How can you say it’s perfect?”

“Because you built it for us.”

Derek closes his eyes, the simple answer hits him straight in the heart. Tears prickle his eyes and when he opens them, they spill out. Spencer’s faith in him is something he didn’t know he needed until they became a couple. Unshakeable and pure, like his love.

Spencer uses the towel to blot away the moisture of Derek's tears. “Are you going to show me what you’ve built for us?”

Derek’s smile is a little wobbly but he’s so damned proud of what he’s built, he doesn’t care. “Yeah.”

Holding up the towel, Spencer says, “Maybe we should bring this along. Might need it again.”

They share a laugh. Neither is ashamed of the tears they’ve shed.

“Can't hurt. Never know when we’ll need it again.” Happy tears would be more than welcome. He wants Spencer to love the house as much as he does.

“Let’s go then!” Spencer not so gently shoves Derek out the door. _Our house! OUR HOUSE!_ He feels like it’s Halloween. Excitement jitters down his spine. He can’t wait to see what the house has in store.

“So pushy,” Derek teases.

Spencer keeps shoving. “I’m excited!” He _needs_ to see the house Derek built for them.

“Where do you want to start?” Spencer grabs Derek’s wrist and drags him toward the front of the house. “Wait, where are we going?” Although confused, he doesn’t fight Spencer’s hold. He lets himself be dragged through the front door and outside. Spencer stops at the end of the sidewalk and turns around.

“I want the whole experience. From the outside to inside.” Spencer grins. “It feels different knowing this is ours.” _Ours. I really like the sound of that._

Derek looks back and forth between Spencer and the house. “What do you think?” He can’t help the flutter of nerves in his gut.

Spencer stares at the outside of the home. _Our new home._ “It’s beautiful. I thought so before but now, it’s even more beautiful.” The emotion of the house being theirs makes him see it differently. He feels pride at the work Derek’s done and that it is theirs. “The blue and gray were a good choice. They’re complimentary.” Under the snow, Spencer notices flower beds. He can imagine the bursts of colors spreading over them. Warm and bright and happy. A welcome home. It’s what their home is missing now. Since Kryupt, going home has lacked the warm, welcoming embrace it once had. They can have it again here. A fresh start. _In the beautiful home Derek built._

“I thought we could pick out the flowers and plants together once it’s time.”

Taking Derek’s hand and squeezing, Spencer says, “I’d like that.” One last look at the house, he starts back up the sidewalk. He stops on the top step to admire the front door. A bold blue surrounded by pure white and windows to let the light in. Spencer loves it. He can picture himself stepping through the blue door after a long day. Letting his mind wander, Spencer opens the door in his mind and feels the weight of a child running into his legs. His breath hitches in his chest and intense need squeezes his heart. Spencer holds onto Derek tight to keep his legs under him.

“Spencer?”

The concern in Derek’s voice spurns Spencer to explain. “I’ve seen little of this house but it’s our future. I feel it. The front door, Derek. A door. All I can imagine is opening it and feeling the weight of our child running into my legs.”

Derek shuts his eyes and imagines it. The emotion surging in his chest tries to overwhelm him. “I know.” Hearing the echoes of their future children shouting Daddy when he walks through the door.

“I don’t see our future at home anymore.” Spencer doesn’t imagine children in relation to their current house. That house is their past, not their future. Even before Kryupt came along to spoil things.

“I don’t either,” Derek admits. As much as he loved the house and the happy memories they’ve shared there, it can't meet their future needs. It’s time for them to move on and this house is where they can do that.

The anticipation of what is behind the door builds. His and Derek’s future lies behind the bold blue door. Opening the door sent a thrill through him. _This is our home. The home we’ll share as husbands. The home we’ll raise our family in._ Derek’s hand in his anchors him as a rush of emotion tightens his throat. “This home will be the beginning of a new chapter in our lives.”

“A new, wonderful chapter,” Derek agrees. He, too, imagines all the memories they will create here. The children they’ll raise. “I can’t wait to start.”

Snuggling against Derek’s side, Spencer admits, “Neither can I. I want to move here as soon as possible.” Their other house is a dark reminder of what happened. Here, they can start fresh. Kryupt can’t taint this home with his evil as he did their other home. They can both heal and grow here.

“Don’t you think you should see the house before you make those kinds of declarations?” Derek asks with a laugh. _Why was I worried again?_

Spencer studies the ground floor. “If it all looks like this, nothing is going to stop me from moving in.”

Picturing Spencer plowing forward, determined to move in even if he has to do it alone makes him smile. “As soon as you want to move, we’ll do it.”

“Immediately, it is.”

Grinning, he shakes his head. Spencer will have his minions moving them into the house in no time. He has a feeling the engagement celebration is going to turn into a moving party instead. At least if Spencer has his choice. Derek follows him as he wanders off toward the living room. It’s mostly empty, waiting to be filled. “I thought we could put the furniture we have in the living room here.”

Spencer eyes the space and circles around it, the wheels in his brain turning. “Definitely.” He pauses by the window and opens the shade. Weak sunlight from the winter sun peeks in. Spencer pictures himself snuggled up and warm in one of their comfy chairs, reading.

“Come, see the kitchen.” Spencer’s reaction to the kitchen he created has him the most nervous. Spencer has been dreaming of the perfect kitchen for as long as they’ve been together and Derek hopes he finally gave him what he’s wished for.

Derek watches Spencer examine the kitchen. He flits from the blue quartz counter to the double oven to the cabinets without a word. Then Spencer turns to him. Derek swallows nervously. “Do you like it?”

Instead of answering, Spencer stalks toward to him and shoves him against the island. Derek barely has a chance to worry before Spencer drops to his knees. His eyes go wide as Spencer determinedly opens his fly and takes his cock out. Surprised but eager, Derek watches Spencer stroke him until he starts to harden. He groans as Spencer’s mouth surrounds his cock with sweet, warm suction. “Fuck.” Spencer’s eyes sparkle with mischievousness. Derek whimpers at his skilled mouth. Spencer knows all his buttons and he’s making full use of that knowledge. In the back of his mind, he acknowledges he was right about the jeans. Spencer’s hands explore the tight stretch of the material over his butt. Derek clenches the counter hard enough his hands go numb. Too soon, he’s spilling down Spencer’s throat with a groan.

Spencer sits back on his heels. “Does that answer your question?”

Knees trembling from an overload of swift pleasure, Derek slides gracelessly to the floor. “Uh.”

“You okay?” Spencer asks, amusement in his hoarse voice. Satisfaction warms his belly at how wrecked Derek looks.

Derek tries to answer but he’s pretty certain all that comes out is a mash of gibberish.

His own arousal is pushed aside watching Derek’s brain struggle to become coherent, which to Spencer’s satisfaction takes several minutes.

“Damn, Baby. You sucked my brain right outta my cock.”

“I was motivated. The kitchen is beautiful and I wanted you to know how much I appreciate it.” He’s dreamt about the perfect kitchen for years and Derek brought it to life. Spencer can’t wait to dive in and start cooking and baking.

“I think I’m fully aware.” Still a bit dazed, Derek finally notices the bulge in Spencer’s pants. Eyes on the evidence of Spencer’s arousal, he slurs, “C’mere.”

Spencer’s not worried about getting off. Seeing the rest of the house is more important. “I can wait.” He expects neither of them will be sleeping much tonight. _I’m going to enjoy every second of our own private celebration._ _We can sleep tomorrow._ Spencer grins in anticipation. _But now is time for more house._ “There’s more house to see.”

If Spencer is willing to bypass pleasure to see more, who is he to argue? Derek shakes the cobwebs from his head and drags himself off the floor. “Let’s go, then.” His office is quickly viewed and approved. “You’ve already seen the laundry room.” Spencer pops his head in, he probably spared the room little attention while he was treating the clothes. “Here’s a bedroom. The only one on this floor.” The room has a bed and a nightstand but is otherwise a blank slate once they decide whose it will be.

Spencer wonders what room is coming as Derek’s anticipation is palpable. Derek stops in front of a closed door. “What’s this room?”

“Your soon to be favorite room.” Derek opens the door with a flourish, “The library.”

Eager as a toddler getting ice cream, Spencer rushes inside. They have a library at their house but it’s nothing like this. “Oh, Derek,” Spencer breathes out in shocked wonder. The empty shelves call his name and shout: fill me! The reading nook is made for days spent devouring books. Spencer plops down in a chair. Closing his eyes, he can imagine all the hours he’ll spend here. Comfy and warm, happily lost in a book. A surprising image flashes in his mind. A little toddler with curly black hair curled up on the chair with him, listening intently as he reads a story. Fierce desire grips him. _I want that._

Spencer looks up at Derek. “I love you. I love this. It’s everything I could have hoped for.”

“I love you.” Looking around at his work, Derek feels proud of how it turned out. “You deserve a proper library.” No one loves books as much as Spencer does.

“It won’t just be mine.”

Derek shoots him a questioning look. In his mind, it’s Spencer’s library, not his.

“I saw a child, Derek. Our child. I was reading to her. Right here in this library. I want that to be real. I want to read to our child, our children. To foster a love of reading in them.”

Derek’s breath shudders in his chest. He sees it too. “I do, too.”

“I don’t want a big, expensive wedding.”

Trying to follow Spencer’s subject change, Derek nods. “Okay.” Spencer isn’t flashy and he isn’t surprised by the declaration. “Together, we’ll make sure it isn’t.” Certain members of their family, _Desiree,_  and their friends,  _Penelope,_  will be enthusiastic about the wedding. “We won’t let things get out of hand.”

It’s going to take a firm grip to keep the wedding under their control. He loves Derek and he wants their day to be special. But most of all, he wants it to be about them. Not the clothes or the flowers or the fancy hors d’oeuvres but them and the joining of their lives. _The start of the next chapter of our lives._ “Good. That means we’ll have more time to concentrate on growing our family.” He wants a family with Derek and he doesn’t want to wait.

With a big grin, Derek agrees. “Absolutely.” Marriage is important to him and he wants their wedding to be a day to remember. However, he doesn’t need an extravagant wedding. All he needs is Spencer and the people they love. It’s what Spencer wants and he’ll make sure he gets it. And if a simple wedding gives them more time to work toward the family they desire, that’s a bonus. Derek wants to start a family with the man he loves. Spencer fills his life but lately, he has felt an emptiness. He knows Spencer feels it too. They are ready for a family.

Moving toward the empty shelves, Spencer asks, “Do you think I’ll be able to fit all my books?”

_Doubtful._ “I can build more, anytime.”

“A dangerous offer,” Spencer warns. If given free reign, he could fill the whole house with bookshelves.  

“Within reason.” Derek would do almost anything for Spencer but he’s not willing to live in a library.

Spencer stops in front of Derek. “Thank you for this.” Looking around, he can feel the love Derek put into the library. “It’s everything I could ask for.” He wraps Derek in a hug. “It feels warm and safe here.”

“I’m glad.” Spencer still has nightmares, so does he, but he hopes this home can give them a place to feel safe again. Derek needs that as much as Spencer does.

“Once I get my books on the shelves, you might not get me out of this room.”

Derek smiles against Spencer’s neck. “I’ll have to think of ways to get you out of here, then. Get creative.”

Spencer likes the sound of creative. _It’ll give Derek a challenge._

“Do I have to start now? Or are you ready to check out upstairs?”

Warm and comfortable though the library may be, the upstairs is calling his name. “I’m ready.”

Hand in hand, they walk up the staircase. “The wood is original to the house, the previous owners covered them up with carpet. Damn shame if you ask me.” Hearing the disgust in Derek's voice, Spencer stops to admire the wood. “It just needed a little love to put some life in them again.”

“Which you clearly gave it.” The wood gleams; Spencer can see why Derek found it such a tragedy to cover them with carpet.

“It needed it.”

Spencer marvels at Derek’s humble answer. He doesn’t doubt blood and sweat went into restoring the wood but to Derek, it isn’t a big deal. It would have been easier to buy new wood. Derek doesn’t go for easy; he goes for what’s right, even if it means extra work. _He’s going to be such a good father._ Dedicated is Derek’s middle name and any children they have will always be able to count on him. “We’re going through this house, room by room, in detail someday soon.”

Derek raises a brow in question.

“I want to know every little detail about what you did to make this our new house.” To learn the stories of the remodel, to see the little touches Derek put into each room. Uncovering everything is going to be fascinating.

"This is the first of two bedrooms, excluding the master." Derek follows Spencer in. "It's a blank slate right now, same with the other one, I thought we could decide together how to decorate."

"It's a nice size." Spencer can see children in this room. "Maybe we'll have bunk beds in here someday."

"I can see that," Derek says with a smile. "I thought Josh could paint a mural on the wall."

"A mural." Spencer stares at the blank wall. "That's a fantastic idea, Derek." He and Derek are of the same mindset; their eyes are on their future family. Spencer feels a little giddy at the prospects. What will we have? Boys? Girls? How many? They both want at least two children. Derek loved having siblings and wants their children to have that experience. Being a loner for the majority of his life, Spencer has a lot of love to give.

"In here is a Jack and Jill bathroom that connects to the other bedroom."

"I like it." Spencer likes the combination tub and shower. It will be convenient for when they have kids.

Derek tries to see it through Spencer's eyes. "We can add more personal touches later." He didn't do a lot to the bathroom, just spruced it up a bit. Derek hopes they can make the bathroom and the bedrooms more kid-specific in the near future.

The second bedroom is much the same, a blank space waiting for its purpose. "We'll have to designate one of the bedrooms as a guest room for when your family comes to visit."

"Yeah, I was thinking the downstairs bedroom for the guest room. I was thinking the two upstairs bedrooms would be better for the kids we plan to have."

"That's a good idea. Have the kids closer to us." Having a baby or young child downstairs in the bedroom doesn't make sense. A teenager maybe, but not a young child. Spencer wraps his arms around Derek. "This is our future."

Emotion washes over him and Derek holds onto Spencer as he rides it. The last couple years with Spencer have been more than he could have wished for. Starting a new chapter with Spencer is exciting and moving to the new house is the first step. "It is."

"We're thinking ten steps ahead, aren't?"

"What do you mean?"

Spencer sways in the circle of Derek's arms. "We've both imagining our lives with a family." They have a long way to go, no matter which avenue they choose to create their family, but it's all either of them is thinking about.

"You're doing it too?"

"I see our future children in every room," Spencer admits.

Derek flashes back to all the days he spent remodeling the house. "I thought of our future family every step of the remodel." Aside from creating a new sanctuary for them, the family they'll have together was his focus. The house is built for children.

Touring the house, Spencer sees how the house will adapt as their family expands.

"But first, we have a wedding to plan." Derek takes Spencer's newly ringed hand and kisses his finger. Satisfaction settles comfortably in his belly at the visible mark of possession. Spencer is his and soon, he will be legally as well. Derek stares at his own hand, imagining a matching ring on his finger.

Spencer threads his fingers with Derek's. "Tomorrow, we're starting the process to create your ring because my heart beats only for you." He wants to see his ring on Derek's finger. "I want you to be able to feel what I do when I look at the ring you had made for me." The ring is like wearing Derek's love on his finger. He can't doubt he's loved when he looks at it, feels it surrounding his finger.

"Tomorrow," Derek agrees. "I admit I was hoping you'd say that."

"You were?"

"Yeah. I might have already made an appointment with the jeweler for tomorrow."

Pleased, Spencer asks, "You did?"

Derek nods. He'd prayed Spencer would say yes and if he said yes, Derek wanted to show the world he is as much Spencer's as Spencer is his.

"Perfect." Spencer feels satisfaction that Derek will soon be wearing Spencer's heartbeat on his finger.

Derek leads Spencer out of the bedroom to the Master.

"Oh, Derek." He loves the wall color Derek chose. "I love the violet."

"I know it's empty but I wanted you to be involved in the design. It's your sanctuary as much as mine."

Spencer doesn't mind the emptiness, it gives him the opportunity to imagine what could be in the room. "What were you thinking?"

Derek moves around the room, imagining the finished product. "I thought we could have our bed here, a nightstand on either side." He points to the corner. "There's room for a chair here."

Spencer can picture it. "You know the sooner we get a bed in here, the sooner we can christen it."

_Fuck._ "Damn, Pretty Boy." His cock twitches at the thought of it. "If the floor wasn't hardwood, I'd start right now."

Spencer sends Derek a sultry grin. "I'm not stopping you."

Derek exhales roughly. "Not helping my restraint."

"Wasn't trying to." Even after over two years together, Spencer loves to tease Derek. The way his dark eyes heat with lust, it's intoxicating. Derek's craving for his body hasn't diminished in their years together. Spencer enjoys every second of it.

Derek clears his throat, doing his best to shove his very carnal thoughts down until later. _Then I can fuck Spencer into the mattress._ He's learned from experience, letting the anticipation build will only make it hotter. Which is why he changes the subject, otherwise he'll be fucking Spencer against a wall in less than five minutes. "The ensuite bathroom is through here."

Spencer smirks, knowing exactly what Derek is doing. He decides to let him get away with it. The build-up makes the sex more intense and he is more than ready to end the night with Derek fucking his brains out. Spencer turns his attention to the bathroom. "Wow." It's like a dream. His eyes are drawn to the huge tub, which he and Derek will definitely be christening soon. And the shower. And the double vanity. _This is not helping me restrain myself from jumping Derek._ The tub is calling his name. Spencer can't resist stepping into it and sprawling back. "We're going to enjoy this huge tub."

"Hell yeah, we are."

"And the shower, big enough for two," Spencer observes.

"Well, there are two of us." Derek helps Spencer out of the tub.

"Soon as we move in, we're going to start christening every room."

Tugging Spencer close, Derek says a little breathlessly, "I'm okay with that."

"Maybe that's how we'll spend our honeymoon."

Derek kisses Spencer, hard and passionate. _Honeymoon. God, I can't wait._ "Don't you want to go away somewhere?"

"Derek, we're on the road all the time for our jobs. All I want is a bed and you naked in it." Spencer doesn't need to go to some exotic location, he doesn't want one. He wants them, just them together alone. Just him and Derek and a nice big bed.  

"I can make that happen, as long as you are naked too."

Kissing Derek, Spencer answers, "Happily." He squeezes Derek tight. "This house is amazing."

"I'm glad you like it."

"I love it. I can't wait to start the next chapter of our lives here."

"Me neither."

"Marriage. A family."

Derek sinks his fingers into Spencer's hair. "Together."

"Until the end of time."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This the end of this story but there's more to come for the series. Next will be Aaron and his mystery companion's story. After that, probably the wedding.


End file.
